One Year Later

Dec 30, 2008

Wow, what a year this has been.  My VSG was (almost) 1 year ago on 1/2/08. 

This year I nearly lost my life, thanks to a post-op leak that kept me in the hospital for 2 months and off work, in physical therapy, for 5 months.  Do your research, people, and be prepared.  See my profile for pics of me in the iCU if you don't believe how real complications are.

But, I got a new life in return.  I have not reached goal weight yet, thanks to my reliance on Dr. Pepper and junk food to get me through working 12-24 hours per day this Christmas season (I'm a retail manager).  I am very close, though, and once I kick the DP to the curb and get back to the gym next week, I know I will get there.  The last 10 lbs will probably have to wait until after plastics, as I have a lot of extra skin! 

The best way to describe how I feel after having VSG is "normal".  What a great feeling that is!  I am no longer the fattest person in the room everywhere I go, I can shop in the regular section of stores - I wear a M/L in tops and a 14 in bottoms.  I don't feel like a freak in public like being a fat person eating huge meals always made me feel.  Well, I still feel like a freak sometimes because I can only eat 1/2 of a kids meal at dinner and servers always want to know what's wrong! :-)

My marriage is completely changed for the better, because being fat meant that there was literally always an "extra person" between us.  My hubby absolutely loves the new me - I haven't been this small since we started dating in high school.  My baby also loves the new me.  I can chase him around the house all day, get on the floor to play with him, I have an actual lap for him to sit on, and in general I am just a much happier and cheerful person.

Would I do still choose to have VSG again, if I could go back in time?  Yes.  

I still feel guilty about nearly dying and leaving my baby without a mom - my being in the hospital was so hard for him that he remembers everything about it and still talks about it to this day - and he was only 2 years old at the time!  He still asks me, "mommy you go the hospital, you feel better?"  all the time, and it breaks my heart.  I also don't know what my life will be like in 30 years because of all the scar tissue I have from my many post-op complications and surgeries, so that scares me somewhat.  But, it's in God's hands.

What i do know is that nearly dying, the horribly difficult recovery from that, and then losing 105 lbs all in one year has been an amazing journey that has given me an incredible new perspective on life, and I wouldn't change that for anything.  When I think about the person I was one year ago, I know that she would not ever have believed how challenging and wonderful this year would be.  She also had no clue how stong and beautiful she was! 

Now I am off to celebrate, with a really sloooow dinner at my favorite restaurant, The Melting Pot!  Good luck to all newbies and be ready - your life is going to change, in ways you don't even know.

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