From the time I was 12 (150lbs) until this present day I have been gaining and gaining. Now I am at my highest weight (338lbs).  My life with my husband and kids is obsolete. I can not play with them I can not go to the park with them I can barely do anything. My kids are 11-9-7 all girls so you know how hard it must be to not be able to do the girlie things with them. It is really starting to take a toll on me and depression is trying to take hold of me. On top of all this I have now been forced to use a wheelchair by the othro Dr since the weight is starting to be a strain on my joints. I use the CPAP machine so no romantic time for me.  Did I mention that I am only 5 feet tall. 

Low moment in my life came recently when my youngest daughter told me the kids at her school were making fun of her because she has the fat mother. How do you tell a child do not let that bother you when you know in your heart it is true. I have tried all the diets you can name and no results over 10lbs. Another low for me came about a year ago when we were at a theme park and I had to get off of ride because the seat belt would not lock.The rest of the day I spent lieing telling them I was scared of every ride because I did not want to feel that way again.

When I am out in public I feel that everyone is looking or laughing at me so I stay in at all times. I know that not healthy but I feel safe. I do not like to shop its as if i am just trapped in a shell. My family gives me all the support that I need but, it is hard for them to understand why I feel the way I do. They tell me all the time it will be okay or it will be alright. That's good to hear hard to believe. I hope to one day be able to fell good and look good. I don't know when but I know its coming.

About Me
GA
Location
44.7
BMI
RNY
Surgery
09/01/2009
Surgery Date
May 28, 2008
Member Since

Friends 47

Latest Blog 18

×