One week down

Jan 20, 2009

Well it was my one week anniversary yesterday, I go back on Friday for a follow up with Dr. Gorospe.  I've lost 10lbs so far this week which seems really good, but normally if I had lost 10 lbs I could tell a difference in my clothes.  My stomach is still bloated and I'm still tender on my left side and where the On Q pain pump was.  Right now I think I'm going to shoot for another week off of work.  I still get very tired when I go out anyplace and I can only sit about an hour in a chair before my back really starts bothering me.  I know that I've got a good chair at work but I don't think it's going to cause the pain and numbness that I'm getting in my upper back to go away.  I've been doing a lot of cooking and trying new recipes on the family.  It makes things seem more "normal" but since I can't eat what I'm cooking I have no way of knowing if the recipes are good or if they are just eating them to keep me happy.  I seem very weepy lately.  Sam says that I'm doing a good job, but I don't KNOW that I'm doing a good job.  Also with being off of work I have been thinking about my work situation.  I like what I do but there is no job security in Telecom and I'm so sick of layoffs (okay who are they kidding, nobody comes back, you're really being fired!).  My group went from over 30 18 months ago to 5 now (assuming nobody was down sized while I was gone) with more work to do and higher goals to reach.  I don't know if I'm really not happy there or if it's just the surgery/hormones and not being on my anti-depressant that is making me resent going back to work or what.  I have been thinking that if I get let go that I would go back to school and become and LPN.  It seems like a good fit for me.  Initially I wanted to be a vet but I was afraid that my math grades would keep me out of vet school (it's actually harder to get accepted to vet school than medical school) but I have always loved the problem solving aspect of it as well as being able to help those in need.  It seems like in nursing at least there is some job stability and if I don't like where I'm at I can always go somewhere else.  I thought about taking some classes at night but it doesn't appear that it's something that I can do while I keep working in my current job.  Maybe next week I'll feel better about things.

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