Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.  
 
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 
 
Number 8
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. 
 

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. 
 

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky...
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. 
 

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.  
 
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to Criticism.  
 
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00? 
 

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal....