Family Weekend

Sep 28, 2009

This last weekend, my 15-years-younger brother and his wife came from Boise to spend the weekend at her college homecoming, and to spend time with family.  It was so wonderful to see them, and particularly, to surprise my brother with my weight loss.  He hadn't seen me since well before my surgery, and I think that I haven't weighed this little since he was in grade school - he's 33 now.  He was so tickled.  He described hugging me, and having his arms overlap behind me, rather than just more or less meeting behind my back.   It was so thrilling, that he could see my results and celebrate with me. 

The other thing that keeps happening is that everyone comments on how short I am.  Did I look taller when I was fatter?  It's funny - so many people report actually gaining an inch after WLS because their spine is no longer compacted, but I am getting shorter?  I don't get it.  But I have to admit:  Being petite was always somewhat an important piece of my self-image, and being noticed for being little is nice.  Really nice.  I don't know why, but it feels affirming.  Like a part of my true self.

I admit, like always, I can look at myself in the mirror and pick myself apart.  My sister asked if I like to look at myself in store windows, and enjoy the image.  But it's still hard.  I look, and I see the uneven way I'm losing weight.  My tummy and my upper arms still make me unhappy, and I can see it.  It's hard to quell those old self-image issues.  My family gave me sooo many compliments, and while it was nice, it almost became overwhelming.  And I'm forming a full-fledged turkey wattle, and while no one comments on it, I still notice it.  I am far too self-critical. 

Nevertheless, today I hit 200 on the scale.  I only weigh on Mondays, and next week, I fully expect to find myself in onederland.  The last time I was in the 190's was in the late '80s.  So hard to believe that I'm almost there again.  But it's onederful!!

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