kayakgirl

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I will miss;

• trying out new craft beers from local breweries
• fancy cheeses with fruit, baguette, and wine for dinner
• cherry pie
• turkey stuffing
• Art-is-In Cafe eggs benny
• Pressed Cafe waffles
• Vinho Verde
• toast with PB

I won't miss;

• getting dizzy after going up two flights of stairs at work
• feeling achy every morning when I wake up
• shopping at Additionelle and Reitmans (although I appreciate their choices for plus-size women)
• feeling short of breath when I hike, paddle, ski, walk, etc
• worrying about my cholesterol, blood pressure, etc
• feeling invisible
• having my strength and activity levels underestimated by others
• feeling physically limited to do all of the things I love to do

I'm sure I'll think of more.

Next list will be "Things I Look Forward to Doing...",

Jennifer

For many years I have been very active despite my weight. I have lugged my 100+ extra pounds whilst hiking, xcountry skiing and cycling. I have felt almost weightless while paddling in my 17 foot sea kayak. BUT it was so F%$$%#ING hard to do all of that! And this past winter I felt myself giving up on doing those things I love. It was just too damn hard to lace my skates, to get up from a ski fall or to go up the Lake Fortune trail. I basically got fed up.

Then after many years of considering WLS I finally got my doc to make the referral. (He finally got it in on March 21) 

I feel like a weird shift has happened though and I'm a bit concerned about it. I seem to have "given in" to being fat. I am no longer forcing myself to do the physical things that I enjoy. I no longer force myself to stop at 2 slices of toast. I no longer focus on salads. I no longer make that extra effort.

And I am beginning to feel pretty crappy. I'm more short of breath, I'm sleeping poorly and eating things that don't necessarily agree with my tummy.

Yesterday I went to Additionelle to get some spring/summer clothes and found that I have "blossomed" from a comfortable 18 to a somewhat snug 20/2X... I just gave into that too.

The fight has gone out of me. I thought that some of you might understand in a way that my slender friends can't.

Thanks.

I turned 50 this year. In my family, 50 is a huge milestone. My father died suddenly a week after his 50th birthday and as a result my siblings and I have each approached 50 with a bit more reverence and self-reflection than is commonplace. So this has been a HUGE year for me...

I have been  a "big girl" for about 20 years now and over the course of this, my 50th year, I have realized that my weight has increasingly gotten in the way of me being the person I am meant to be. I also realize that eve though I have been lucky up until now I cannot continue to take my health for granted.

I love kayaking (did a 7 day trip out of Tofino last summer), x-country skiing, hiking, and wandering. I want to be able to do these things without carrying my extra 100+ pounds of weight with me. This winter I really felt the effects of my weight and had a very hard time mustering up the will to do these activities that I know make me feel  so much better about my life. As a result, I had a rather glum winter.

So, after thinking about it off and on over the course of several years, I finally asked my wonderful GP to refer me for GBS. He sent my referral in two weeks ago. I'm not 100% convinced that this is the direction for me.... but I'm getting there!