Kayla
Hi-I can't believe how much time I have spent on this website reading everyones profiles. Thank you so much for all that you have taught me thru your experiences. I have had my orientation That was January 12th-2006 Next week is my big week:
Monday Jan, 30th 2006 I will get all my blood work done
Tuesday the 31rst will be the chest X-Ray and the ultrasound
Friday Feb. 3rd 2006 I have three appointments, one with the phsyciatrist, the internist, and the surgeon.
THEN they apply for approval. My heart will break if I don't get approval. I have two young children-so I am doing a lot of shuffling around with the kids to get these things done. Plus I am a teacher-but I guess that I am just as busy as everyone else on here and in life!
I was always tall and thin until my early to mid 20's then the weight just kept coming on. I gained 60 pounds with each baby-would lose it-then gain it back. I am a binge eater. I have had depression and eating disorders all my life-like many of us. If I can get surgery-I need to work harder on my emotional eating-because I know you can gain weight back and stretch the new tummy again. I am 5'5' BMI just under 40-39.9. I have gained and lost 30-100 pounds more times than I can count.
Friday February the 3rd-2006
February 9th-2006
The waiting is MUCH more difficult than I thought it would be. It is hard getting a teacher to sub for me-asking for my husband to take time off of work...for soemthing that I am not even sure is going to happen. My Dr. wants me to see a GI doctor before surgery. He wants me to be scoped, to check on the diverticulitis. This will be on the 17th which is Friday of next week. Then I have surgery scheduled for the 23rd......Next week I am going to call my insurance everyday. I just keep thinking it can go either way-yes or no-I feel like the office wouldn't have had me go thru everything unless they thought I'd qualify, but I am getting scared my insurance will make some new requirment or something.
I guess I have to just go on and "act like" I am having it. This is major surgery and it is only two weeks away.
Friday Feb. 17th-2006
We still don't don't if I have approval yet and I am scheduled for the 23rd! They think I will find out yes or no on Monday for sure. I promised the lady that was going to sub for my class that I would call her today to let her know.....but I still don't know...I am afraid to call her. SHIT! I wish I knew. If I don't find out Monday morning I will call her. Hopefully she'll still take my class if I am approved. Then I'd really be screwed. So far this year it's been hard...I just got over the stomach flu...my kids had it then I got it...before that it was some other illness. I used to NEVER be sick. My poor husband had to miss work, to take the kids back and forth to school all day. He can't miss work, he's having trouble already. MY friends and my mom are always so supportive and helpful...now, if I have surgery next week, it's like I am asking them for MORE...I feel like I am sucking them dry. I want to give back so badly. Let's see first I broke my back, was down and out for at least 2 months. Then I had breast reduction surgery, which wasn't too bad, then the diverticulitis a few times then just getting sick so much......now I pray that I won't have complications from the surgery, then they'll all be done with me.
So I am HOPEFULLY finding out Monday now-2 days before surgery!
Monday Feb. 20th-2006
The office called me THIS MORNING!!!! MONDAY FEB. 20TH and said I was approved!!!! I didn't even call her or my insurance yet. My cell phone rang and it said it was from a private number. There she was with the great news. Now Surgery is Thursday. I can honestly say I had accepted that it wasn't going to happen on the 23rd. I am still in shock and ah!
WELL I AM HOME!!!!! SATURDAY THE 25th!!!!-2006
Had Surgery ON THE 23rd! I want to thank Beth----the best angel in the world!!!! She came to visit me TWICE. Brought me flowers, and balloons, a huge box of everything I will need--she's so sweet and such a beautiful person. Best of all she listened to me and talked with me about her experience! She's almost 4 months post-op. AND WOW...she's looking SO great, and best of all, FEELING great!
Friday, March 3rd-2006
My husband and mom took the kids to the desert for the weekend so I have time to write. I miss those little ones already. I am feeling a little restless. I didn't go because I am only one week post-op, can't ride my quad, drink, or eat hardly anything at all. Plus I already told my friend I would go to her MIL's funeral Saturday. But I do miss them. Yesterday I got to start strained cream soups and cream of wheat! Very yummy! I was so worried because I can eat almost a cup at each meal with no problem, but the doctor assured me that everything was fine, and when it comes to solids it'll be different. My head hunger is crazy. I am not physically hungry, but I want to eat because the house is quiet and I am alone. I'd also love a Captain Morgan's and Diet Coke....but I won't do it of course, wouldn't want an ulcer! Or mess up my last chance at some real weight loss. I weiged myself on my home scale with clothes on before surgery and it was 230-I just weighed in this morning-with no clothes-but it was 200! Can't wait to get to 180-175!!! I am feeling great and I was driving 4 days post-op. I am in no pain and just doing really well. It is very difficult adjusting to such limited calories and a new way of life...but I know it will get easier.
March 29th 2006
Just got back from a 6 day hospital stay. One day they all thought I was dying. I was dying. Or falling into a coma- I felt myself slipping away. I had methemoglobin -spelling is incorrect-anemia of 51%. The pulmonary doctor says she's seen people die at those levels. I had no oxegen going to my brain, and I was blue, my nails and lips were so blue they took pictures of them in the ICU. The nurses all told me they thought I was already dead when I was brought down there. It was a toxic reaction to the spray they gave me to relieve the pain of the NG tube they used.
The reason I went in in the first place is because I was having pain like contractions in my stomach every 5-10 minutes on Sunday March 19th right when I woke up in the morning-I was totally fine the night before. It came on sudden with no warning. I had to have surgery again. I had a twisted and kinked small intestine that was fused together with scare tissue. I was in the ER for 12 hours throwing up in the hallway crying. That wasn't the worst of it. I kept a written journal. It was the worst experience of my life.
April 11th 2006
Well, I am feeling MUCH better than in my last update! I feel like it's been years since my first surgery, and it's only been-not even two months. On my home scale I am down to 180. But none of my pants and skirts that fit me at almost 230 feel any different. It must be internal bloating. My friend said she had it too, and it went away in about 6 weeks, so it's 3 weeks since my 2nd surgery, I figure another 3 weeks. I can pretty much eat anything. I've never dumped on anything that I've tried. I just, thank gosh, can only eat a certain amount and that's it. I eat about once or twice a day, sometimes more. Getting "pure" protein down is very hard, and carbs are much easier. Hopefully further out I can do better with meats and things and be able to really "melt away"...lol
Friday, April 14th, 2006
I am a little nervous. Monday my "life" starts again. The kids have school, I have work...it'll be really weird. So I don't dump on anything. I don't throw up either. I can eat anything, it just has to be in smaller amounts. I think my tummy is about 5 oz. That makes me sad and mad. But it seems about right. The other night I had about 1 oz of cheese and 4 oz of chili with no problem. I am taking all my protein and vitamins. Sometimes I get cravings and slip a bit, but thankfully it's not for sweets anyways (because I've never cared about sweets) it'll be for something "carby" like crackers. I don't "graze" either, so that's good. Part of me feels cheated that I don't get sick on anything, because I am scared about keeping (and losing) weight for the long term and keeping it off...BUT it is nice to go out and know that it'll be ok if I try something different. Thank goodness I can only have, well, about 5 oz's LOL....I can't argue with the weight loss though...I've lost a lot. Even though I am still heavy and can't "feel" or see it yet.
I don't want to live like this anymore! I won't! This is my last chance! This surgery MUST work for me...there are no more options.
These are not in order of importance!
#1 I hate the way others treat me.
#2 No matter what I always feel like a slob
#3 The physical part of feeling the rolls of fat and being so uncomfortable
#4 My kids are getting older. I want them to have a healthy mom, not a fat mom. I want them to be proud of me.
#5 OH...to just slip on a pair of jeans and a shirt...and feel good about myself. What a treat that would be.
#6 I feel tired and lazy all the time.
#7 Depression
#8 My horrible obsession with food and starting a new diet everyday, just to feel like a failure time and time again
#9 Have a better sex life
#10 Summer! Oh just to wear the right clothes for hot weather, instead of always trying so hard to cover up.
Monday April 24th-2006
Before WLS I wanted my goal to be 165 and 155 was always for so many years, my ultimate goal was 155. It has been two months and I am 10 pounds away from 165! I am hoping to reach 135, 145 by August, which would be 6 months after surgery and about 10 pounds a month. I have to use this first year as my window to lose this weight.
May 2nd - 2006
Well-it is a F'in tool. IT May be a sledgehammer...sp? If ya use it right. DON'T ABUSE IT : USE IT!
No more hot pockets with real butter and season salt. I can't believe I can so easily eat one of those things. Well I GAINED 2-3 pounds. So I am now going to COUNT carbs and protein grams everyday in a journal until I get to my goal weight. YES- I've done it a MILLION times in my life-calories, carbs, fat, whatever...BUT it's different this time-cuz I have the toooooooooooooool..........I'm always good w/protein and my vitamins. I need to up the fluids and exercise. I still get these cravings sometimes-and I don't dump on anything - so it can be extra difficult. My obese mind is still at work. I've learned I STILL NEED TO FIGHT. I have help now...REAL HELP...but I gotta FIGHT too!
This is me at my highest weight-I HATE these pictures-but they are the only ones I could find that shows my overweight body-usually I only do face shots-or I'll have something in front of me. I am guessing I am between 215 to 230 here. I did get up to about 260 during my pregnancies. The only reason I even have these pic's is because at this point I knew I was trying to get WLS so I didn't destroy them because I thought they'd be good before pic's.
Monday, May 8th-2006 and Friday May, 12th-2006
I don't like these pictures...170 HS about 180 Doctors scale? STRETCH size 12 pants...LOL
Monday, May 8th-2006 the ones with jeans and Friday May 12th-2006 the ones in the poka-dots
A butt shot included....YIKES!...LOL. I am about 170 in this picture. But that is naked, first thing in the morning, on a home scale. I am guessing my doctors scale will be 8-10 pounds more. These are a size 12 pants though!!!! YAY!!!
FOOD! Okay-at first I was just on the liquids-probably between 50 and 300 cals a day. I loved decaf tea-the sweet ones-with a little splenda at night. I also LOVED BEEF broth. I wasn't that into sugar-free jello or sugar-free popsicles. I freaked right away because I could have a cup of everything with no problem.
When I got to soft foods I would eat cottage cheese with season salt and dip a string cheese stick in it. I didn't really like eating yogurt.
I was really into soups for a long time. That was all I would eat. Anything solid-solid protein-was too uncomfortable. Then I read "pouch rules for dummies", and I started eating more solids, PLUS I was comfortable with them. Post-op, I haven't done well with eggs, not getting sick-I am just not into them. For a long time I just ate roll-ups with deli meat and deli cheese dipped in a bit of mustard.
Now I am moving on to the south beach diet roll ups and using a low-carb whole wheat tortilla. These are very high in protein and filling! I eat between 700-1000 cals a day now sometimes more-RARELY-sometimes less-OFTEN
Suddenly I can't stand my protein shakes. So I am challenged now with getting my protein.
I use the Bariatric Advantage vitamin schedlue.
I also struggle with fluids and exercise. Joined 24 fitness 3 weeks ago and still haven't gone. BAD GIRL.
When I "blow it" and give into cravings, I've had lean pockets, even with real butter on top a couple of times. I have tried junk food a few times and I know I don't dump on fat or sugar. Thank goodness I don't like sweets anyway. I am also not a snacker, so that's good.
Friday May 12-2006
I just went to an hour long class at 24 Fitness. I was so nervous to go there for some reason. I signed up weeks ago, but I just didn't go. I hate exercise, but today felt so good. Like "natures prozac." This year needs to be spent focusing on making these things habits, protein, fluids, vitamins, and EXERCISE! I will replace my food addiction with an exercise addiction! I sound so confident after one trip to the gym..lol, huh? Well-I need to read this when I start to lag again.
Thursday May 18th-2006
WOW! I am 165 for the second day in a row-this is awesome! This was my goal weight before WLS. I'd always think, "if I could only get to 165 again." But now that I have this tool -GEEZZZ I am getting so sick of the word tool-I want my goal to be 135. 138 is supposed to be my IDEAL weight. I can't remember the last time I was that skinny. Well, actually I do...I had gone to a friends prom, I was about 20, and I had dieted for a long time to get there, then that night, I ate so much that my dress ripped when I was getting into the limo. I think I gained 10 to 15 pounds back in that week alone. I am feeling bouts of nausea lately. My students are bringing me "bad" food, sweets and pastries...maybe I am having minor episodes of dumping? Maybe I have a hernia? Gawd I hope not. That spot is still sore from my second surgery. I refuse to worry about it. Ta Ta for now.
Friday, May 19th 2006
Just went swimming at my moms with friends. I feel so much better in a swimsuit than all the last Summers...This will be my Summer to shine!
Sunday May 21rst-2006
Well-thanks to Elisa from the February surgery board, I finally figured out the virtual model. The first model is at 230, the second is 165-dang-I wish I looked that good! And the third is at my goal weight of 135. I've had a hard last three days of eating. I have been over stuffing myself. I just threw up a little bit, just enough to help me feel comfortable again. I don't want this to become a habit. This is the 5th or 6th time in 3 months-OH TODAY IS EXACTLY 3 MONTHS PO..IT SEEMS LIKE THREE YEARS. So that's not too much. But I know that it is not a good thing at all...My hubbie is all over me lately. I guess he's loving the new me. He even picked me up tonight, twice, and once he even walked with me...and he was kissing me with me up in the air. What a great feeling.Friday May 26th-2006
Just got back from my 3 month appointment. I was 8 pounds more like I thought on their scale. I was 173 on their scale. 63 pounds lost. I learned that the hunger hormone does not increase, it will remain at normal levels. THAT'S GREAT NEWS! I learned that he makes the stoma smaller than other surgeons, and he hand sews it where other surgeons just staple it. He has never had a patient with an enlarged stoma. Great News! He said that he knows that I am not a snacker now, but sometimes 9 months, a year out...people can turn into snackers. So be careful with that. He said that mostly everyone dumps, it is very rare that someone doesn't. He said maybe I didn't because I didn't eat enough, or that I was well hydrated. Also after a year he said that people don't dump anymore anyways. He said that a 63 pound loss is an average loss for someone 4 to 5 months out. And I am 3 months out. He said I don't need to wait one hour after I eat to drink-that 1/2 is good.
I need to remember that next time I go in the nutritionist is the bad cop and I am the victim. She has the personality of a rock. Stone cold.....she is condescending and judgmental. She sits on a platform of perfection. I feel like she hates her job. She starts off by saying something about my outfit being sparkly, and the girls at SDSU....always dressed this or that way, with makeup on...bla bla bla. She asked me if I was going to a party. Actually I was wearing light clothing because I knew I was weighing in. Then she goes on with her interrogation. Everything negative, not once something positive. Asked me what I eat in a typical day, told her what I ate yesterday...she jumped on me about protein, I said I was getting enough because I count grams, she said, "I hate to burst your bubble, but your not..." Her manner was just so incredibly rude. Last night I had 7 baby shrimp and some BBQ baked potato...ate the protein first! But you'd think I drank a bottle of vodka with that baked potato-which by the way is the first one I've had post-op. I was pretty much reading from the book she wrote describing what I am doing, but everything I did was wrong. It's hard when you've been working so hard to do the right things and stay on track -with the rare human slip-up-just to get torn a new asshole for nothing. It's sucks being treated like a fool, when I sit here and research EVERYTHING. I went off on her-the only reason I had the balls to do so is because my mom was there with me. I told her that next time I'd remember to bring a detailed journal, and that they should warn patients about this before hand so they can be fully prepared. I asked her if I just had to see HER today, or will I get to see Dr. Mueller? She asked me about exercise, I told her I worked out at the gym, she said "well, what do you do there?" I said that I took the classes and doesn't she know what kind of classes they offer? So she named some and I said, "yeah, those." She asked me, "how many times a week? and I said probably not enough...she asked again, and I told her "just write, not enough." It was all bad. Then Dr. Mueller comes in he said not to focus so much on ounces, just on bites 6-7 bites. Then I started CRYING in front of him, and my mom had to speak for me. It was a nightmare!!! I still like Dr. Mueller though. I hope I gave that cold rock something to think about.
Tuesday May 30th-2006
Kayla Lee
2/23/06
14.00 Weeks Since Surgery
230 Starting Weight
135 Goal Weight
95 Total Pound to Lose
65 Weight Loss So Far
165 Current Weight
4.64 Average Weight Loss Per Week
68% Percent of Extra Body Weight Lost
Thank you Mrs Grinch From My February Board!
Thursday June 8th-2006
I am feeling pretty good lately. I was feeling a little bit tired and weak once in a while-even though I am so good with all my vitamins and protein, and now I am so good with my water too...YAY! Maybe it's because I just started my period? Who knows? I'll tell ya what though..not being able to take Aleve anymore for my period really sucks. I called the Doc's office again and they suggested going to my pcp and asking for Ultram. I have an app. next week.
Sometimes I eat the "wrong" thing. I only eat 2-3 a day so I like to make it count-the other day I had a piece of buttery garlic bread. But I have been eating salads a lot lately, I guess that's my "new" thing, cuz I am sick of roll-ups. I found a great protein from GNC-it's a liquid protein with 18 grams for 3 TBLS and 90 cals. I add 6 to my morning 32oz crystal light. The cals with the protein supps are kill'en me. Too bad there's no calorie free protein...LOL
People are funny. A student called me "barbie" the other night, an older Spanish lady that doesn't speak much English. Then the vice principal is calling me "Paris" I guess that good be worse, but "Paris" come on, she's so stupid. But she is "hot" so that's pretty nice...LOL. People at my son's school kept telling me how good I look and how good I am doing....I am so much happier...I can pretty much wear anything in my closet, even my "skinny" jeans. I am a 12 now, and they fit great. I can't imagine being under that? Will I be smaller than a size 12? Only time will tell. It kinda sucks that I am getting older..33...will I finally have the body and health I always wanted then be upset about my face getting old? How superficial can I be? I know, I know.
The weight loss isn't moving fast enough for me anymore...LOL-I want to see the 30's and the 40's on the scale!!! Maybe even the 20's ha....
Sunday June 11th - 2006
Okay-here's some good advice for myself-these are things that I know are true for myself personally because I have experienced them.#1 Don't F*&* around-because it's not like I am at goal-or even close...there's no room to f@#$ around.
#2 Water-at least 64 oz EVERYDAY no exceptions. Force yourself if you have to. I know, what a cliche, but I do eat less when I am getting all my fluids and you don't confuse thirst with hunger........
#3 Keep carbs low-PURE PROTEIN-carbs just make me hungry all the time-craving food all the time-pure protein keeps the hunger and cravings under control. Carbs just make me eat more.
#4 A recipe for overeating=CAFFINE. No caffine - it always makes me hungrier and eat more.
#5 You could have 15 1 cup meals a day - or snack all day - and GAIN weight or never lose. This is the worst thing for WLS people - always 2-3 meals a day - NO SNACKING OR TASTE TESTING. That is a recipe for failure.
#6 Eat the RIGHT foods-you know what they are-don't eat soft foods or high calorie liquids..even people with strictures can gain or never lose eating ice cream, high fat soups and mashed p's. Eat PROTEIN solids. They stay in the pouch longer and keep you full longer.
Monday June 19 - 2006
I just figured out that if I lose 2 pounds a week-then in 11 weeks it'll be the end of August-and I should lose 22 pounds by then-HOPEFULLY-that'll put me at 135-138 GOAL weight!!!!!!!!!!!!
In three weeks I lost 6.5 pounds. This is from The Doc's scale to my PCP's scale. 173 down to 166. My scale is 8 pounds less exactly-so I have been 158 on my Home Scale. I am having trouble with my protein again-now even the GNC stuff just makes me want to gag. I wish this part wasn't so hard. It was so easy when I could stomach the Isopure.
Thursday June 22nd - 2006
Well I went to a bar the other night with my mom. All the attention I got was nice, it reminded me of when I was younger. I haven't gotten that kind of attention for a long time. I even had one guy tell me that when I get a divorce, will I marry him? Someone else said "why did you get married so young?" Which is funny because I am 33 and didn't get married "so young" it was in 1997. Guys were really bummed I was married. Some were very good looking-it was nice getting that attention-but my hubbie has loved me fat and thin-sick and healthy-bitchy and nice....I can't betray his love and trust ever. I can see though how the divorce rate is high with our group...for many reasons.I have been "stuck" between 155-160-mostly 160-for about a month. It really sucks. But after spending hours everynight reading posts and profiles on this site, I truly cannot complain. My motto holds true, "there will always be someone thinner, heavier, younger, and older, richer or poorer than you!" I am thankful that I had this surgery at this time in my life. Thankful I got to have it at all....thankful for my beautiful family!!!
Oh yeah-I got my GNC protein again. Now I mix only 3 tbls with 32 oz crystal light (not 6-that's too much) and do that in the morning and at night. That way it tastes good, I get my protein in, and 64oz of fluid. I am going to start tracking calories too until I can get over this hump. Bye!
Oh my gosh 23 days and finally 155-friday-June 23rd-2006-
hopefully it won't go back up again!
This is my home scale....230-155-wow 75 pounds!!!! YES!!!!!! I bought two books, Life is Hard, Food is Easy and something about Food and the Soul...I read on here they can help with emotional eating. Which hasn't been a problem lately, like pre-op, but I know it will creep back up again, and I don't want to gain this weight back. I WILL NOT!!!! Yesterday I tracked my cals on fitday and I had 1075.....I will track my cals and protein until I reach my goal weight. I am hoping to reach 135 by the end of August. That's a tad over 2 pounds a week.
Friday July 1rst- 2006
Yesterday was one of the worst days I have had so far as far as eating and throwing up is concerned. I pray to God that I didn't cause any serious damage to myself. I thought soy nuts would be a healthy, high protein snack. I ended up eating 640 cals worth and throwing up so bad - the worst part - nothing came out because they were so dry and heavy - I felt I would choke to death. I have bruises on my eyelids and forehead from popped blood vessells - I guess...So - It doesn't end there, unfortunately. I was so upset with myself a few hours later, I thought about how bad I've been wanting to try this apple pie all week - hot - with whipped cream....so since I already fucked up so bad, I ate it. Got sick again for eating too much. Hardly anything even came out. Went to a baseball game and out with hubbie...came home and had soup...guess what? Got sick AGAIN-NEVER HAD I HAD A DAY LIKE THIS ONE!!!! I have thrown up MAYBE ONE TIME every two weeks for overeating...........this was a record for sure. I ate about 1,700-2000 cals AND I hope I didn't cause damage to myself. I started my period yesterday too....maybe that had something to do with it - history says yes...BUT today is a new day....there is nothing I can do to change yesterday. ONLY LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES AND MOVE ON....
Wednesday July 5th - 2006
Kayla Lee
DATE 2/23/06
WEEKS OUT 18.29
STARTING WEIGHT 230
GOAL 135
TOTAL TO LOSE 95
TOTAL LOST 77
CURRENT WEIGHT 153
AVERAGE PER WEEK 4.21
PERCENT LOST 81%
THANK YOU GG FROM THE FEBRUARY BB!!!
Things have still been hard for me as far as making the right choices. I've been going to the beach and pool parties a lot, and it doesn't help that I know I can eat anything. It is like I want people to know, "yes, I have lost weight, but look at me, I didn't have WLS, I can still eat like you!" Stupid, I know....there's no real logic behind it. The 4th was a bad choices day....I thought this was going to be my honeymoon period, and THEN things get tough???? I am in for a lifetime struggle...
Last month I only lost 6-7 pounds the whole month. 160-153 (sometimes 155...) I never thought I'd complain about that weight!!!!...LOL. But with this surgery, I guess I want to lose more each month. I am in a "hurry" to reach goal. I don't think I'll make it in August like I thought...If anyone actually reads this I am sorry I've been such a cry baby lately!
Sunday July 9th - 2006
Well, I am still tracking everything. But, I still was staying between 153-155 no matter what I did - it seemed..so, I started counting carbs a few days ago. Staying around 20. I'll tell ya what...I sure get way above my min. protein...just eating eggs, fish, shrimp, cheese, deli meat, soy nuts, bacon...oh! Chicken! That's a crap load of protein. With a supp. I can get to 100 grams a day. With the soy nuts-I learned to weigh the whole thing out and put them in single serving bags, it's great for a fast meal or a quick snack on the run. Just can't overdue it. The baggies help a lot. Well, I have 2-3 meals a day. All protein. I am never hungry when I am eating all protein. My little scale is GREAT. It gives me perspective on how much I am really eating. I can consistently eat 4 ounces of very dense, solid protein. Other foods can be more. 4 ounces of solid food seems right to me, and I am happy with that. It's working. I can feel the fat, water, whatever melting away...I feel thinner now, and I weighed just under 150 the other day. Maybe I'll reach that goal after all?
Monday July 10th - 2006
OMG! OMG! This morning I got on as usual-naked-one pound under zero-peed-held onto furniture and lightly let go..lol-tip toed..lol-HEY THIS IS HOW I HAVE ALWAYS DONE IT!!! IT IS CONSISTENT. Anyway! I was 145-146! CRAPOLA!!! I am in the "normal" range! I haven't weighed this since 1997 when I got married-and THAT was because I lost 30 pounds taking fen-phen...
ADD 8 pounds exactly for a doc's scale...153..AWESOME.
PROTEIN only 20-30 carbs a day-THIS works for me BIG TIME!!! And my tool makes it so much easier to stay on than pre-op...Eating just protein-I am never hungry. Always full...a week of this and the weight is melting. I bet I can reach goal in time if I stick with this.
Thursday July 20th - 2006
Okay-this is a STUPID thing to bitch about..I know. But I went off my low-carb on Friday...and have been off ever since. I was doing so good too. I put 5 pounds back on right away-I find that scary. Part of me wants to give up. The other part wants to keep fighting. I felt so thin eating low-carb...I feel so frick'en bloated now. The problem is when I went off, and started eating crap carbs again, I got sick...well major pains going thru me like a day or two later. I thought I was in major trouble again and called my doctor. He said it sounded like either my gallbladder or dried fecal matter - can we say "YUCK!" I took MoM and went and still felt the pain-so I was scared it was my gallbladder. Now I feel better. Thank God! I want to go back to low-carb, but I am scared that when I go off, I will feel bad again. I need to make it more livable (sp?)....but my thinking is still so black and white about food..still so all or nothing...will I ever find the shade of gray??? Will I ever be able to stop using food for comfort and only as a healthy fuel to live? I guess the answer is only up to me.
Friday, July 28th - 2006
Well-I lost the 5 pounds I gained back and was just UNDER 145 this morning-which is pretty cool. I ate very low-carb yesterday. It seems to work so well for me. I looked up recipes so I can try more variety. I go between not caring anymore and fighting hard to be healthy.
So-guess what? I dump now. Why now? I don't know. The bad time I really remember I ate a variety of crap. I get the sweats really bad and feel VERY nauseous. No barfing or "the runs" just really awful. I have to go and rest. Yesterday-I ate two small sugar free chocolate toffee candies-THAT did it for sure. Got the sweats and felt horrible. So 5 months out and I dump! The doctor said you could not be hydrated enough, or not eat enough of the offending food....there's a bunch of reasons. I'll tell you though-the time I had that sf candy-I just finished a protein shake-I was hydrated. Maybe I am just healed finally.
I am getting my tattoo tomorrow. I wanted to wait until goal-but I am close enough.
Saturday August 5th - 2006
I was 140 on my HS this morning. I still can't believe it. We'll see if that number sticks. I am a week late on my period-but I think I am starting now...5 pounds from goal??? I am amazed.
I don't think I have had a normal BM since surgery. I have to take MoM every few days-then I am running. But at least it cleans me out. If I don't take MoM- it gets really - really - really bad...won't get into details...but very bad. There's nothing I haven't tried.....
August 9 - 2006
Okay-I jumped the gun on that one. I was 140 for one day-and I haven't seen it since. So-I have been between 145-150 for A MONTH!!!! Yikes-that sucks. I'm 145 most of the time at least. I am obsessing with the scale because I am 10 pounds from my goal weight, and I'm 6 months out in a few weeks. I wanted to reach goal in 6 months. Oh well-I need to thank God for all the success I've had.
August 17th - 2006
I went on vacation and made BAD choices-drank a lot-ate the wrong foods-grazed all day---that's something I never thought I'd do!!!---GRAZING LIKE A COW---I left at 143-144-thought FOR SURE I gained to at least 150...got on the scale and it was 141...what the??? We exercised a lot...long walks and hikes...soooo I guess that made the difference. Let's hope this weight sticks. It had been 6 months...what the???????? Let's see-add 8 for the doc's and I am at about 150. My belly is still huge. But I can live at this weight. I need to get back on track. Not to lose-but for my poor little ---little?????-----pouch. I've been overstuffing a lot lately...so much more than in the beginning. Not even close to using my period as an excuse....just always craving and thinking about food-always wanting to eat. It sucks!!! But I will fight-for my right-to be HEALTHY and THIN!
August 19th - 2006
Well-almost two months of being between 140-145 on my HS I guess that's 148-153 on a doctor's..ahhhh too many numbers...I am always thinking about food and eating. I hate that. I wish I had a favorite food again. Like early on-I always had something I liked, and would stick to that for a while, until I got sick of it. I am all low-carb today...I need to get a "kickstart" on this again. I don't want this to be it for me.
Okay-wow moment...I've had so many...but this one is great. I had two people tell me that I shouldn't lose anymore weight tonight at work. Everytime I see someone they say that I am getting "skinny"...but this is the first I have heard this. One was a male student and one was a fellow teacher. They said I was perfect the way I was and I should "stop losing" or else I'll get "too thin." Wow-music to my ears. Maybe I am losing inches? I don't measure. I don't think so though. I believe that I am eating enough cals to maintain, or even gain weight at this point. My body image is getting worse too. I don't see myself as "skinny" at all in the mirror...pretty trippy.
Sunday September 10th - 2006
Things have been going good. I am still 140 on my HS. Some days 138-39. Add 8 for a doc's. So I can own 140, but it has been a looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg time. I am not counting cals or carbs. I am just eating what everyone else is eating. Just less. Sometimes I FREAK that I can eat too much. But then today My DH got a deli sandwhich-a 6 inch-I cut it to a 3 inch-and still didn't come close to finishing it. Gave most of the bread to my dog. That happened for lunch and dinner. So that felt good. I used to be able to eat a foot long..with chips....I'd like to start filling my pouch with more fruits and veggies...lower cal things. I think my cals are too high-you only need about 1,700 or less to maintain 140
Sept. 13th - 2006*****83 pounds lost in 6 Months 3 Weeks*** Drugs we can and can't take after WLS
Just came back from my 6 month appointment. Met only with the Nut. But she was on her best behavior and very nice and helpful. A couple of questions I had she couldn't answer, but it was overall a good experience. My test results all came out GREAT which was really AWESOME. Iron, Calcium, B12, Protein....EVERYTHING was perfect. So I am doing a good job. I TOLD HER THAT AT MY 3 MONTH*SO IN YO FACE...LOL!!! It makes me proud that I am doing so good. I was 149 on their scale. Exactly 8 pounds more than my HS. I am really upping the protein and exercise in the hopes I can lose the extra 15 pounds to reach my goal of 135 on THEIR scale. It has been 17 weeks since my 3 month app. soooo
24 pounds lost since then=1.4 pounds a week AVERAGE since my 3 month app....these last 15 pounds are going to be REALLY HARD WORK....If I want to lose I will really need to change my calorie intake.
Tuesday Sept. 19th - 2006
Just a fast note. Yesterday I dealt with betrayal and jealousy at its worst. From a "close" family member too. What a bad day. Even work sucked last night. Feeling bloated since I've been off SBD and Atkins-eating nacho's and beans. Got to 135-36-but today I'm at 140...at least the fluctuation is between 135-and 140 now...REALLY slow....but I guess it is coming off. It's like 3 months I'll go between the same 5 pounds. But that's to be expected at this lower weight I guess. Hopefully next time I post I can own 135 on my scale. I'm still working out, eating my protein, taking my vit's and eating 3 meals a day...sometimes 4.........but not often.
Thursday, Sept. 21rst - 2006
Had another hard day yesterday. Carbs are evil. Once they creep into your diet, all the cravings come back....138-139 HS-147 doctors?
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DRUGS THAT CAN DAMAGE THE POUCH OF THOSE HAVING HAD WLS
Advil
Aleve
Amigesic
Anacin
Anaprox
Ansald
Anthra-G
Arthropan
Ascriptin
Aspirin
Asproject
Azolid
Bextra
Bufferin
Butazolidin
Celebrex
Clinorial
Darvon compounds
Disalcid
Dolobid
Erythromycin
Equagesic
Feldene
Fiorinal
Ibuprofin
Indocin
Ketoprofen
Lodine
Meclomen
Midol
Motrin
Nalfon
Naprosyn
Nayer
Orudis
Oruval
Pamprin-IB
Percodan
Ponstel
Rexola
