Past vs Present
Mar 13, 2018
This is an old blog from July of 2012 that I posted about myself from an old OH account (I was finally able to reset my password and get back in)....
"So I am 50 lbs out so far... Have dropped from a 22 pants to a 18 pants! the side pics doesn't do me justice, you can really tell from the front view! I am so happy that I decided to get sleeved. I do see loose skin forming around my arms:( But, I will rather have that than to be at 292... Never again!"
Fast forward to today, 2018.... And it has happened again... looking at the old me and seeing how happy I was, kinda makes me feel so bad about the spot that I am in now. I told myself that I would not get back to this point again, and here I am. But I love how my old page is giving me motivation to do better! I did this for many reasons. However, the most important reason was for myself! I did it before and I can do it again! Looking back on my old post, I see what was missing... doing this for me. Not for what people said or thought about me, not for opinions, but for me. This time I am going to truly do what I want to do.
I want to get back to the feeling that I felt in 2012. Back to that hope, that pride, that confidence! I even posted pics of me in my undies to show my progress (I DEF deleted those), and to show my progress to others! I was sooo proud and just wanted to help others. However, not once did I post about my mental well being or how emotionally happier that I was. I mostly posted about how much weight that I lost. However, previously I did ignore the mental and emotional health aspect of weight gain. Once I lost the weight, I didn't take care of my emotions. I eventually went back to the ways things were. Weight loss is not simply physical. I have been in deep thought lately on how did I let myself get to this place again? There are several things... First, stress of grad school. Second, happiness from a relationship and third, eating has always been a coping mechanism for boredom, stress, happiness, celebrations, and disappointments. This needs to be changed and replace with healthier methods. And I need to work through this before I decide to do anything, rather it is surgical or non surgical weight loss. I do not want to fail again.
"Be well in every way"