Anxiety about the Gym

Mar 19, 2018

Hello fellow members. 

This is something  that I have been struggling with a lot... Gym anxiety! I always get it into my mind that I am going to start going to the gym 3xs a week.  However, when the time approaches to go, I get anxiety about going.  Its not so much about being overweight and self-conscious... Its more about trying new things and seeing new people. (But I’m not gonna lie… I hate that damn mirror in the workout room.  I do not wanna see my body jiggle). My heart starts to race and I get butterflies in the pit of my stomach.  I keep telling myself that I will not regret it, but often I find some excuse not to go... like writing this post instead of heading to the gym.  If I do go and make it to the gym, I only get on the exercise bike.  Before, when I lost 90 pounds, the main thing that helped me going was doing a cardio that I enjoyed - ZUMBA.  Now, going to ZUMBA almost scares me.  But I hate the bike.  So I don't do it.  I LOVE ZUMBA... So why not try? I know it is the negativity and the mindset that I have developed while gaining this weight back, but I am so so tired of being this size.  I hate this feeling.  And even if I only do 30 of the 60 minutes, I would have accomplished something! I remember how much I used to love ZUMBA, but now its been years since I have went to any kind of dance class.  I love dancing.  I need to just do it.  I have never been a shy person.  But now that I am even heavier than my original size before my first surgery, I feel horrible and like a failure.  But I have to do this.  I am tired of this feeling. 

Is this self-sabotage? Is this true anxiety? Is this just fear? I’m not sure but this was never me.  I remember being 280 pounds feeling so confident… what happened to that person? Sometimes, I do not even wanna go out on weekends because nothing fits.  I get tired of shopping because I hate trying on clothes.  I absolutely hate this feeling, but I gotta get these pounds off of me because enough is enough! I want to look back a year from now and see where I was, and hope to never be in this place again.

I know some people rather work out at home.  I also have some workout videos but I do not do them.  This is because I pay monthly for a gym.  So me and my husband has agreed to use it and get our money's worth. And our gym has a pool, our membership travels with us, and my daughter can benefit from it as well (she is 7 years old). 

I know that I am worth it and that I deserve a healthy body.  Not only that, but my daughter deserves a healthy parent.  I want to get to that point where I can say "I enjoy taking care of myself".  One step at a time. 

Wish me luck you guys! ZUMBA starts in 2 hours, and I plan to be there.  I just have to remember….. I HAVE THE COURAGE WITHIN ME TO FACE MY FEARS AND OPEN MYSELF TO EXPERIENCING NEW WAYS OF BEING

SN: I am starting the modified green smoothie cleanse.  I am hoping to change my taste buds because I need to break the unhealthy carb cycle.  I’ve done it before and I know I can do it again.  I need to get my life back!



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Mar 06, 2018
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