Kimberly B.
I had been overweight since I was 6yrs old and the only one in the family to be overweight. I went through the usual child hood torment I had been spit on, kicked down stairs, over looked in class and made to feel like it was better to be invisable. By the time I reached age 28 I was well over 425 lbs and the single mother to a 6 year old daughter . Every night I would pray and cry not waking up in the body which had become my prison. I had no idea what it felt like to be normal and I never dreamed of being thin. I had planned my funeral and appointed a guardian for my daughter. I honestly couldn't see hope , but I still prayed,.
I really can't tell you what I was praying for, if it was to live and be thin or if it was to die and be thin. It didn't matter, I just wanted to sleep and wake up in a new body. It was 1992 and I had started in a new department for a studio I had been with for about 4 years.
When I interviewed for the job I was made aware that it had been discussed throughout the entertainment industry at the various studios that I should be (black balled) from entertainment industry because I could possibly cost the industry a fortune in medical cost.
I had broken every car seat of every car that I had owned and I would hide from the other children as I dropped my daughter off for school, when I went to the grocery store I would take my skinny best friend and put the bad stuff in her basket and make the switch when we unloaded.
March 1992 I dropped my daughter off at school and went to work in the new dept that made it clear that "this is a chance where taking" by 10 am I had eatten myself into a full anxiety attack, my department heads thought it was a heart attack and called 911. After a trip to the hospital by way of paramedics with six full grown men lifting the gurney, I was given every test under the sun. Now mind you I come from a family history of diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure and my Dad had just had a heart transplant. After what felt like a million hours of test the doctor came in and said "we just don't know what it is" and I was released.
Still sure I was checking out for good I went home and waited for the angel of death to send his calling card. I stayed home for a few days, but had to return to work. My Dad offered to take my daughter to school and we left that morning at the same time. As we sat next to each other waiting for the light to change to preceed on our separate journeys. My daughter rolled down the window and said "bye mommy I love you" and that was my AW HA !!!!!!!! moment. I could no longer imagine that little girl saying those very words as they lowered my casket into the ground.
But I had no plan, but that little girl gave me hope. I went to work and my co worker was reading a "People Magazine" she was reading a Fobi advertisement and gave it to me. I mentioned to her "I wonder how thin I could get" she took me into the bathroom and we stood in the mirror as I held my arms out she pull my blouse so that it was snug to my body, for the first time I realized that I was not carrying around a fat skeleton.
I went back to my desk and made the call that would change my life forever. That 6 year old girl is now a 22 years old woman completing college and running her own business. I went on to buy my dream home and raise a brilliant and beautiful daughter. In 2004 I had a revision w/ pann. I am now a size 12 and at 45 years old I look and feel terrific. My daughter did not dodge the genetic bullet and she also had surgery in 2005.
I was told recently that I have a predisposition to obesity, so I have to watch everything I eat. But better to watch what I eat than be on a life time of medication. It has been years and people at work are still amazed and new people want to see the pictures. I still have what I call "stinkin thinkin" where I feel out of place or I will wear a large garment as a security blanket. It is not an easy journey by a long shot, your mind has to be renewed daily. There are some days that I would love a coconut cake (yes I mean the whole cake) but I would be on that bendge for weeks. The secret for me is to turn that company keeper (food) in to something positive like exercise. Is the journey easy? "NO, HELL NO !!!! but anything worth having is worth working for. There is not a piece of anything that I have ever had that would be worth dying for.
