I feel good...

Sep 22, 2010

and by good, I mean 1,000x better than I did walking into my RNY surgery a little over three months ago.  I can get up and down easily out of seats, I don't have to push the steering wheel as far away as it will go in my car, my knee doesn't constantly feel like its going to give out, I can stand for extended periods of time without my lower back hurting, and, I DON'T WADDLE AS MUCH WHEN I WALK....

To be perfectly honest, I don't know how much I've lost.  On the 24th of August, I was down 67 lbs, so it's been a whole month since I've weighed.  Clothes wise, well, I am still in the same damn clothes that I wore before I had surgery, and it's freaking infuriating.  I mean, really, who loses 70+ lbs and still wears the same clothes?  Do they fit better?  Of course they do.  But, they still fit.  They are not baggy and falling off.  I was expressing this frustration at work to my supervisor, and her response was "It's probably because they didn't really fit before, you just made them fit"...which is true.  But I want them to fall off.  I want to lose my pants in the middle of a grocery store.  I keep trying to tell myself "it's gonna happen" but it's not happening yet!!!  GRRRR!!!!!

I really need to start excercising.    I know that just doing daily activities (like actually walking to work from my parking spot as opposed to the meters I was paying $4 a day to park at) have increased my physical activity from what it was (read: what it wasn't), but I really need to get after it.  Back in HS and college, I was really athletic, but I have always hated actually working out.  I think its just something I am going to have to make myself do, and just come to grips with the fact that I don't like it!!  I don't want to fly away with my batwings, or to have one of my children disappear into a skin fold...so I guess excercise it needs to be.

I still have so far to go...Like I still need to lose an overweight person.  I have come a long way, and I am very proud of how far I have come.  I am going to go start seeing a psychologist, because I think that I have of my bat shit crazy issues with food to work out.  I still think about food all the time, and I don't want to focus on it.  I am not getting in enough protein, and most days I don't get in enough water, either.  I need to work on these, to take care of myself.  But, I am going to go and see the psychologist, and I am going to do my best to really open up (as opposed to telling her what I know she wants to hear...I can talk my way around and out of almost anything, which is both a blessing, and a curse!!)  so that I can get my mind to a healthy place with food.

OH, I also started a new decade...I am officially old...two weeks ago I turned the big 3-0....so here's to hoping that this next decade is spent living!!

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About Me
42.8
BMI
RNY
Surgery
06/17/2010
Surgery Date
Jun 09, 2009
Member Since

Friends 42

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