kcericson
I feel good...
Sep 22, 2010
and by good, I mean 1,000x better than I did walking into my RNY surgery a little over three months ago. I can get up and down easily out of seats, I don't have to push the steering wheel as far away as it will go in my car, my knee doesn't constantly feel like its going to give out, I can stand for extended periods of time without my lower back hurting, and, I DON'T WADDLE AS MUCH WHEN I WALK....To be perfectly honest, I don't know how much I've lost. On the 24th of August, I was down 67 lbs, so it's been a whole month since I've weighed. Clothes wise, well, I am still in the same damn clothes that I wore before I had surgery, and it's freaking infuriating. I mean, really, who loses 70+ lbs and still wears the same clothes? Do they fit better? Of course they do. But, they still fit. They are not baggy and falling off. I was expressing this frustration at work to my supervisor, and her response was "It's probably because they didn't really fit before, you just made them fit"...which is true. But I want them to fall off. I want to lose my pants in the middle of a grocery store. I keep trying to tell myself "it's gonna happen" but it's not happening yet!!! GRRRR!!!!!
I really need to start excercising. I know that just doing daily activities (like actually walking to work from my parking spot as opposed to the meters I was paying $4 a day to park at) have increased my physical activity from what it was (read: what it wasn't), but I really need to get after it. Back in HS and college, I was really athletic, but I have always hated actually working out. I think its just something I am going to have to make myself do, and just come to grips with the fact that I don't like it!! I don't want to fly away with my batwings, or to have one of my children disappear into a skin fold...so I guess excercise it needs to be.
I still have so far to go...Like I still need to lose an overweight person. I have come a long way, and I am very proud of how far I have come. I am going to go start seeing a psychologist, because I think that I have of my bat shit crazy issues with food to work out. I still think about food all the time, and I don't want to focus on it. I am not getting in enough protein, and most days I don't get in enough water, either. I need to work on these, to take care of myself. But, I am going to go and see the psychologist, and I am going to do my best to really open up (as opposed to telling her what I know she wants to hear...I can talk my way around and out of almost anything, which is both a blessing, and a curse!!) so that I can get my mind to a healthy place with food.
OH, I also started a new decade...I am officially old...two weeks ago I turned the big 3-0....so here's to hoping that this next decade is spent living!!