KCMusician
I Know the Truth
Feb 09, 2009
The following are song lyrics from the musical Aida and a journal entry from 2006. When I first heard theses lyrics, I was near my highest weight and was feeling very desperate and out of control. These lyrics helped me to see my own truth. To me, these lyrics and journal entry represent the beginning of my journey. I didn't know it at the time, but it would take me 2 years to begin my path to a better life.I Know the Truth
How have I come to this? How did I slip and fall? How did I throw half a lifetime away, Without any thought at all? This should have been my time. It’s over-it never began. I closed my eyes to so much for so long, And I no longer can. I tried to blame it on fortune, Some kind of shift in the stars, But I know the truth and it haunts me. It’s flown just a little too far. I know the truth and it mocks me. I know the truth and it shocks me. It’s flown just a little too far. Why do I want it still? Why when there’s nothing there? How to go on with the rest of my life, To pretend I don’t care. This should have been my time. It’s over - it never began. I closed my eyes to so much for so long, And I no longer can. I tried to blame it on fortune. Some kind of twist in my fate. But I know the truth and it haunts me, I learned it a little too late. Oh I know the truth and it mocks me. I know the truth and it shocks me. I learned it …a little…too late, Too late.
My truth - I destroyed my body by eating. I have limited my life choices by choosing food over emotion. I am not a victim. I am the one responsible for destroying life options and for lying to myself. In the past, I blamed my failures on fortune (family genes and poor metabolism.) I remained blind to my truth for years. I told myself that eating was not affecting me. It was OK. I could over eat and have a good life. Now that I know the truth, the truth haunts me and mocks me. The life I could have had haunts and mocks me. (I could have done different. I should have done different.) Even now that I know the truth, I still want to live in a life of overeating, even though it has nothing healthy to offer me. I still want the protection of food, even though it is destroying me. I still want to hide from that which is uncomfortable, even though there is nothing positive in that life. I was blind to the truth for so long, but now that I know the truth, I am angry at myself for allowing my life to turn out this way and for allowing myself to continue to be haunted by my poor choices. I pray that some day, I will be strong enough and wise enough to make the right choice.
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About Me
Overland Park, KS
Location
40.6
BMI
Surgery
11/24/2008
Surgery Date
Dec 06, 2008
Member Since
