kellietag

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I figured that a lot of my problem with eating is not being able to say no. I work in an office where we always ate out for lunch and snacked through out the day. (not to mention I had a serious eating out problem away from work too) but I find myself still saying yes when asked, "hey want a Starbucks" or "what about tacos for lunch today" even when I know I wont eat it or don't need it I still say yes.

So my goal the rest of this month is to turn down every offer for something I know I don't need or cant eat.

NO THANKS!

wish me luck.

Well I was in the hospital from Thursday afternoon to Saturday Afternoon for dehydration and sever vomiting and nausea. I hate staying in the hospital, it seems to wear me out more than normal everyday activities. Maybe because I am always worried about my kids and how much more work I put on Mike while I am in there.

They wanted me to stay until I could keep something down. I was so sick of being in there that I just told them I wasn't feeling so sick and I would pour out the food. Stupid I know but I didn't want to ruin the boys 4th of July. So they released me July 4th afternoon. I do feel better and I am keeping down the liquids but anything else makes me really nauseous.

Anyway, the 4th was good we watched fireworks in Santee and tried to enjoy the rest of the weekend. Hopefully this sick feeling will go away soon.

No more pizza no more spaghetti no more chocolate milk no more pasta no more hot dogs no more buffets no more jumbo no more fired catfish no more french fries no more chocolate

Is it true? yes it is, I MISS EATING AND FOOD!

All I think about is how I am not going to be able to enjoy all these yummy things I used to indulge in everyday. I would do anything to eat a slice of pizza or a juicy fast food hamburger!

Why did I do this to myself?

Always sick, cant eat anything, not getting in the vitamins or protein. I want my old life back.......


Why did I do this to myself?!?!?!?!?!?

It seems I have had so much pulling me in the wrong direction. My mom passing away, moving, my husband thinking just one Sonic tot wont hurt, watching the kids eat pizza, my own mental state of mind, not being able to get in the water or protein or even the vitamins, getting sick all the time. It just feels like nothing or no one wants me to use this new tool and be successful with it, not even myself.

I keeping thinking about all the food that I love that I will never ever get to eat again, pizza, hot dogs, cheese burgers, steak, blah blah blah. Just thinking about it makes me want to scream.

I am not going to give up, every time I fall I am just going to get right back up, start over and try harder. I swear I am going to get this right if it is the last thing I do, because if I don't it might just be the last thing I do.

I am trying my best to get on a schedule. I got my 3 meals a day down, but I guess I am suppose to be getting some snacks in between somewhere. How do I do that, I can hardly eat the 3 main meals a day. Guess this will get easier with time.

I am doing the Wii fit program, basically just walking with it right now. I tried the yoga but there is just no way right now, I cant see my toes let alone bend over and touch them lol. Might try to add the yoga back soon.

Water intake is getting better but still not getting the recommend 64 ounces, I will get it one day :)

My routine;

6 am, wake up get kid and self ready for work
6:50 leave to drop kiddos at school
7:15 get to work
7:30 breakfast, usually yogurt with protein powder mixed in, and multivitamin

12:00 lunch time, typically cottage cheese or another yogurt with some protein powder mixed in, calcium tab
4:00 work over
4:20 pick up kiddos
5:30 fix dinner and eat usually some egg salad or just plain eggs, calcium tab
8:00 walk typically 1/2 to 3/4 mile
9:00 shower
10:00 or so time for bed

Not perfect but it is a start.......

I am having a lot of problems getting motivated to do well pretty much anything. All I want to do is sit around on the couch or sleep all day. I know I am not getting enough vitamins, water, or protein. I don't feel like doing it. When I got home after surgery I was like "lets go walk" and doing everything right but the drive has went away only 22 days post-op. I don't even want to get up and go to work, I used to love going to work. I know if I don't change that I will be unsuccessful with the WLS, but I cant find anything in me to get my butt moving.

I thought about the whole support group thing but I am not a public person, I rather stay to myself and not be bothered. I am so lost and wish I could move out of this slump, I really do want to be successful with my health.

My surgeon called in sick today so I had to reschedule my follow-up appointment. I was looking forward to it because I would get the doctors release I needed to go back to work. I contacted my manager to let her know what happen and that I rescheduled for tomorrow, she said that I couldnt come back till Monday anyway. I asked her why and she wouldnt explain all she would say was "we will just see what the doctor says" and "I dont think you can walk up the stairs this soon" its only 2 flights, nothing major.

I hope they are not trying to let me go,,, I like my job, I NEED my job

I have never been someone who drank a lot of water. I always added flavoring or made tea. After having WLS I know how important it is to get the 64 oz of water each day. I have gotten to this point that I cant stand much more plain ole water. I wonder if I could have Crystal Light or Decaf tea in place of plain ole water.......

I am only 5 days post-op and on a liquid diet, sugar free Jell-o and popsicles along with broth and water. I dont know if there is something wrong with me or if I am being paranoid but I am hungry. These things are not filling me up and all I want to do is eat something solid. I find myself counting down the days to advance to strained cream soup or rice. I am actually missing food! All I think about is eating. Watching Mike and the boys eat dinner while I have Jell-O. Is there something wrong with me?

I feel like I am going to do poorly once I can eat more solid foods. Like I am going to eat all the same things, burgers, pizza, steak, potatoes, blah blah blah

I JUST WANT TO EAT!

I went today to get the staples removed from my insecion today. Bad news IT HURT LIKE CRAZY! good news I got weighted and lost 15 pounds since my surgery day!!!! YEAH! I really didnt think I had lost anything!