Will I ever get there?

May 29, 2009

The last time and the only time I've seen my weight loss doctor was in March.  I had to wait 3 months before i could see him again, because I had to quit smoking.  Well I'm just a few weeks away from it being 3 months, and I still haven't quit smoking.  I keep coming up with excuses and stuff keeps happening(which I blame it on) and I just can't seem to quit.  I want to be able to have my surgery but sometimes I get really depressed and wonder if I should even bother.  I mean....he was the one that said the Lap Band probably wouldn't even help me lose that much weight.  So I didn't leave that appointment feeling very encouraged.  Another thing is that he wanted to send me to a psychiatrist to see if I really did have bipolar.  Well I found my own psychiatrist to go to, and he thinks if anything I have Stage II of bipolar.  So i don't even know what that means.  But I'm just down in the dumps right now...and just wondering if it will ever happen.

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