kenINindy

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Hi everyone.  It's been about 12 weeks since my lap RNY and I'm feeling really good.  Energy is back, but not quite all the way.  I'm having a lot fewer aches and pains and I have STAMINA again, in the garden, at work, and other places....

There are some new pics posted.  I'm down about 50 pounds from the day of surgery, about 62 pounds from my all time highest weight of 312.

Life has been busy with work and springtime finally coming to Indianapolis.  The Colts won the superbowl. and I have been traveling with work.  Life is much easier and better without dragging those 62 pounds around!  It's amazing how much more fun it is to just about everything without carting the extra weight.

Head hunger has abated for the time being.  I'm in a zone, it seems and not really that interested in food right now.  I am not craving sweets, which is like a miracle to me.

I'm walking at least once or twice per week and steadily getting the spring yard chores out of the way.  We had a cold snap, so this weekend Paul and I painted our entryway.  It was an all day job, and ther was no way I would have been up to tackling it at 312.  It feels really good to get things done around the house again.    In the past I would have needed days to recover after going up and down a ladder all day painting, or transplanting bushes, or spreading yards and yards of mulch, but now I'm right back at it!

I'm pretty excited about the next 60 pounds coming off!  I'll keep you posted.  Ken

I just wanted to talk about an experience I had last night and people on this webiste may be the only ones on earth who will get what I'm saying!  

I'm 6 days post op.  I was sailing along doing quite well, comparing notes with my recent post-op buddy Belle, meeting my protein and fluid goals for the first time, walking, thinking that things were generally going along smoothly.  Naturally, this is when the CUPCAKE HEAD HUNGER began! 

The whole thing just started with a trip to a furniture store with Paul.  We're looking for new living room furniture.  We have always had a rough time making choices on things like that, so the head started realing with thoughts about furniture, the house, things that have to be done, etc.  Naturally this led to a few other ridiculously anxious thoughts about getting home in time to see Bush's address, forgetting the dog's medicine today, whether my favorite television stars of the 70's have adequate retirement income....you get the idea.

Then, as in the past, my thoughts IMMEDIATELY turned to BAKING and stayed there for a good 15 minutes non-stop.  I had a giant image of a frosted cupcake in my head for NO LESS than 15 minutes.  I'm not kidding you.  It dominated every thought. 

I had no idea that it could be so overwhelming because in the past it was just normal and I gave into it when it came.  I knew that I was addicted to sugar/eating, but I hadn't any idea how much I had used this particular binge in the past to soothe/suppress!! 

It has always been such a habit for me to bake after having any kind of anxious  thought process.  I would bake up a storm, eat a lot of it (let's be honest...some of my cookie doughs NEVER saw the inside of the the oven, okay?). I'd take to work the next day what I didn't devour.  My co-workers loved when I was stressed because I kept them in a steady supply of SUGARY GOODIES.  Let's face it.  I was a good baker...and I did almost everything from scratch! 

So...of course I didn't bake anything last night.  I took a long time thinking about the feelings I was having and really trying to let them in, not supressing them or calming them down.  I just sat in the car on the drive home and FELT them, let them run the course, so to speak. 

Then we went to the grocery so I could get a few items I'll need to eat soon.  It felt great to read the labels, actually.  It felt like I had some control, some say in the situation.  I bought some reduced fat saltines because lately the soft food has really been boring the hell out of me. (RD approved for me after tomorrow). 

I did eat a fourth meal last night, the first time since surgery.  Well....I guess civilians would call it a snack.  It worries me a little because in the end, I DID give in to a desire to eat. 

I had 4 reduced fat saltines with salsa on them.  I did not have 19 chocolate chip cookies and a half gallon of milk.  Dodged that bullet.

So...that one is over, I'm sure there will be more to come.  I just wanted to get that one out of me and on to the screen to people who are most likely to get what I'm talking about.

Thanks for listening!

Ken

 

 

Okay...I'm very very hungry and am generally in a labile emotional state this morning.  I am about 24 hours into the clear liquid diet and feeling a little loopy!  I don't know if it's the lack of food or if it is just the fact that surgery is tomorrow, but I am just FEEELING everything right now.  I'm very grateful for so many things and I am finally ready to go.

So, tomorrow is the big day.  Time has FLOWN this week. I have been staying very busy at work trying to get things settled down so I can be out 2-3 weeks.  I am blessed to work for such an amazing company.  I have received nothing but total cooperation, kindness and compassion from my boss and from my co-workers.  I can't tell you what a joy it is to work with such a nice group of people.  I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Paul has been the ROCK through all this.  He is absolutely amazing.  He has gone about quietly taking care of a thousand details just like he always does, and going along for the emotional rollercoaster ride that has been this last week.  Thank you Paul.  I honestly couldn't do htis without you.  I love you!

My friends have been amazing as well, calling, chatting, not crowding but being there.  My new friends at OH...what can I say?  How comforting to know that a ton of people you have never met are praying for you and thinking good thoughts about your well being?  I'm humbled.  uh oh...here comes the next round of waterworks.  It's going to be a major kleenex day.

Well...I'm going to go ahead and get off here and try to get a couple more things done before work.  Thanks to all of you for your thoughts, prayers and good wishes and advice.  I will see you on the other side.

One week to go and doing great so far.  I kind of flaked out a little bit last night about the major changes I'm getting ready to face...but talking with people really helped out.  Thanks Scottieboyy and Paul!  

I'm coming to terms with the fact that everything changes.  I'm not in my 20's anymore.  I can't just drop 50 pounds in a couple of months watching what I eat and exercising.  I'm facing big ugly health issues now that require big ugly interventions.

I'm not only ok with getting food off the center stage of my life...I'm positively ACHING for it to happen!

Here are some things I really really want to do, and soon:

Amusement parks...the last time was Universal about 2 years ago.  Paul and I had to scope out the fat seat on all the coasters.  Between my natural build and my fat I was jammed in like a sardine.  I'm ready to get on the regular seats and buckle up!

Biking...I can't dream of doing it at the weight I am now.  We haven't for a few years but we used to love it.  And it's an excuse to spend money.  You have to love that.

Rollerblading.  Did I mention I broke my arm when I was 8 yrs old roller skating (well...I fell on it and Wrinkled the bone...it's what kids are able to do sometimes to avoid breaks).  I was fat.

Landscaping...things slid a little last summer because bending over was a major undertaking.

Sky Diving...It's always been in the back of my head.  I won't be rushing into it, but it will happen before I check out.

Those are the things I'm thinking about today, not the dietary guidelines, the post-op feel bad period, the potential hair loss ( i don't need any help in that department!).  I'm focusing on the positive today and doing a lot of meditating.  Wish me luck in my final week!

Hey all.  12 days till surgery and I'm feeling pretty good about things still.  I'm on the CPAP, avoiding caffeine and watching carbs.  My partner and I will attend a manatory surgery class on Tuesday the 9th.  I'm connecting with people I haven't talked to in awhile.  In a weird way I feel like I want to connect just in case the surgery goes bad.  I know it's unlikely, but I AM a nurse and I have just about seen it all.

Paul, my partner is just awesome.  He has already watched all of the patient education videos (he's way ahead of me here!) and continues to let me know he's there for me.  He even shopped for babywipes for us to take to the hospital!  What a guy!

Hi everyone.  My name is Ken.  I'm scheduled for the lap RNY tentatively for Jan 18, 2007.  I say tentatively because there may be a little shifting for work reasons.  

Anyway, I'm really excited about the surgery and the prospect of getting healther.  I have ultimate faith in my surgeon and the team at the Clarian Bariatric Clinic.  I researched everything for about two years before finally deciding and I'm now so ready to move on.  I will update as things go.

By the way, I have Anthem BCBS and was approved the first time.  Took about two weeks.  I know that a lot of people have a lot of trouble getting authorization.  I am grateful that I did not have any trouble.