Pre-Op Diet - Day 5

Apr 11, 2009

Hey!

So guess what?? This liquid diet is SO not as hard as I thought it would be!!
First of all, I got this wonderful idea two days before I was scheduled to start it, because it suddenly hit me: "Wow, tomorrow night at dinner is the last time I will ever be able to eat what ever and how ever much I want to without worry FOREVER!". It kind of freaked me out, so I decided since it is such a special occasion, I'd rather go through it with a friend than alone in front of the TV... I wanted to toast my last meal, toast my new beginning, toast myself for good luck.
I called up one friend, and pretty soon I was organizing a dinner party dubbed "The Last Supper" with all my close friends - they were all so supportive and excited that I wanted to share that occasion with them. I chose a restaurant with the most decadent chocolate cake I know (hehe, figured - if I have to give up chocolate cake, I'm going out in a blaze of glory!), and we all met there for dinner - it was so much fun, and gave me a lot of strength to face the next day.
Also, since everybody was brought in to the process by being there - everybody has been calling to check up on me and see how it's going, which has been really nice and helps keep me focused on my goal.
And you know... I'm totally making it work!
The first day was very hard, but I just drank a ton of water, and didn't even bother counting calories, just wanted to make it through the day without eating any solids. Every time I felt sorry for myself, I thought about the evening before, and the fact that I closed that chapter of my life properly. I have no reason to feel deprived or like I missed out on something, because I wasn't, and I didn't. And lo and behold: I made it!
On day two, I woke up, feeling so proud of myself for having survived that first day! I stepped on the scale, and guess what? I was 6 lbs lighter!!!
6!!
Sure, some of that was because when I weighed myself the morning before (for the first time in months!), I had had a HUGE meal the night before, but so what? It was still 6lbs! Motivated by that, and also by the pride of having made it through the day before without cheating at all, I was determined to make it through day 2. It was pretty easy, until the evening, when I started going crazy. So I just had as much of the unlimited stuff as I could stand, and finally went to bed. I also noticed I was kind of head-achy and more fatigued than normal. I think that's because of the reduced caloric intake.
Day 3 - lost another 2lbs!!  Wow! day 3 was MUCH easier, I guess I was getting used to it.

I am just wrapping up day 5, as of this morning, I've lost 9lbs. yesterday and today I've been feeling pretty normal  as far as the fatigue goes, so today I added exercise for the first time. I took my ipod & my dog on a 2 mile brisk walk, and then got home and did some crunches and a bit of weight training. I never liked walking around outside with headphones on before, but I am pretty impressed at how the music keeps my pace up and also makes the walk feel shorter. I'm going to try and actually make it to the gym tomorrow (hehe, yeah, the one I've visited exactly twice since January)... I really want to try and get in as much exercise as I can before the big day. Besides, these 9 pounds I've lost, may not seem like much in the grand scheme of things, but a week ago, the mere thought of a 2 mile walk gave me lower back pain, but now I'm feeling so much better - it's pretty amazing. I can actually suck in my stomach for the first time in ages.

I've been logging everything I eat on this awesome website called fitday.com to track my calories (trying to stay around 1000 a day). The site is free, and super easy & helpful to monitor with. I'm loving watching the weight graph point sharply down... I think this is the first time in my life I'm actually self motivated to journal my food intake. it always seemed like this hated chore given by a well meaning professional. Like homework or something. Now I'm doing it for myself, nobody looks at it but me, it's just a tool I'm using, so there's no little voice in the back of my mind going: "cheat! cheat! don't let them get away with telling you what to do!". Yes. I have a rebellious personality. It's not always such a good thing.

Another thing I am learning from this liquid diet, that I am thankful for is: I can do this!
A few weeks ago, it suddenly hit me - OMG! It's real! It's really going to happen. And that kind of freaked me out. I started having all these doubts. "what if I'm not ready?", "what if I can't handle it?", "What if I secretly don't really want to lose all the weight?", "What if I self destruct and sabotage myself?" etc'.
All those thoughts have now melted away. Because now, I know for a fact that I CAN do this. And I will. And I know that it will be good.





The ultimate "before" photo :)
Myself and my friends at the restaurant after my Last Supper. Unfortunately, nobody remembered to take photos until we were ready to leave, so there's a couple of folks who left early missing, but that right there is me at the heaviest I will ever be, and my support system, and my favorite peeps, who are there for me to lean on when I need them. Love everybody there! (also, I know how this looks, but I just feel I should mention that most of my friends are guinormous! Really! The guy on the right is 6'7"!!! The girl next to me is 5'11" so, you know... ok, also I'm pretty short... lol).

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