WOW!! 8 Months since I last posted....Sharing some thoughts
Apr 09, 2009So many things have changed in my life. Some good and some bad, but all were destined to happen.
I am a different person and I must admit that I am happy. I am a new person. The old Kevin is forever gone and will never be back. Is this bad, partially - but not all that is bad is "truly" bad..
As I reflect on the transitions in my life over the past eight months, I admit that there are regrets, sadness, many tears shed and heartache. I made very hard decisions that affected many more than just myself. Though it all, I wanted to be happy with me and my life. But I found out that it was not really about me.. It was about YOU... YOU know who you are.. I know that you know and feel the same that we simply had grown apart. I have no doubt that you loved me, but my heart would not allow me to keep pulling you along the way that I was.. You pushed and pushed to work something out and I fought you every step of the way. Why? I still do not know. You are a WONDERFUL person and you deserved better than what I could give you.
Not a day goes by that I do not miss you and the kitties.. However, I feel in my heart that I did what I felt was right. Does it hurt? YES.. Do I miss you? YES-EVERY DAY.. Did ever mean to hurt you? HELL NO. Did I? YES.. AM I SORRY? I WILL BE SORRY EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE..
I talked to friends and they have kept me updated and said you have blossomed into that person they always knew you were. You are outgoing, more active and a socialite again. They see you smiling and laughing. THAT makes my heart smile when I hear that.
Vice versa, these same friends tell me that I am a different person and many tell me the same things. They could see the two of us growing apart, but it was up ot us to see what had to be done..
The hardest thing I ever did was to let you go as my partner.. The best things I could have done was exactly the same. You have spread your wings and are flying baby.. I will forever be your friend and be here for you - no matter what.
As for me, I am a new man. Self reliant, self sufficient.. Pitfalls and struggles have presented themselves, but I am making it. I am such a different person now. Each day is a new day and I worship each and every one of them.
Where am I now? Well, let's just say --- I AM HAPPY..
Why did I write this? I am in tears as I do -- I felt I needed to and so happy I did.. It does not relieve the pain - but it allows me to move forward day by day by day
Jan 10, 2007