khamil65
Twelve years later
Oct 27, 2015
Its been 12 years since surgery & I just turned 50 this past January. Over the years my weight has come back up. Scale now is about 188 but I am back to the gym since end of June and have built muscle and lost inches. I did not take measurements which would have helped me mentally as the dam scale has not decreased my weight. I am in size 12/14 and catching up on this page I do not recall being 151 pounds anymore. Food addiction is with us for life and its about balancing the good days with the not so good days. Since weight training and more research I believe I have to eat more to kick start my metabolism. I get busy and skip breakfast - end up with quick lunch and then a regular dinner. Work from home doing Software Support so I sit way too much. Last winter before my birthday I struggled with my shortcomings but then a friend reminded me that I have kept 100 pounds off my body for 12 years - to embrace that. And to simply try to make better food choices and continue with gym as its about keeping body strong as we get older. A colleague recently asked me about my WLS experience and I explained it is certainly not easy. We have to face the fact we are dealing with food addiction issues and you can not remove yourself from food as we need to eat everyday. With other addictions like alcohol or drugs - that source can be taken away ... not food. I did say I wish I had done it at a younger age than 38 but to spend more time pre-surgery really understanding your personal food triggers. I worked with Robin Hasenfeld after surgery and I still hear her advice in my head. She told me "boundaries, Kim, boundaries" its a mantra that brings me back to the reality that I am a pleaser and I don't put myself on the list and I work on that all the time. Even now I have my gym nights on my work calendar so I will be totally aware that Tuesday and Thursday after work are for my health - work takes over as we tend to have addiction to other things besides food in our lives. I just want to maintain simplicity and be happy with this gift I got and be kinder to my soul which is still healing. Hearing the words "morbidly obese" leaves scars but scars are indicative of the paths we have been taken on and come out the other side wiser and stronger.
