Kilaani
Wow, it's been a while
May 09, 2009
I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted. My 4 year anniversary has come and gone. I was about 157 at my 4 year. I've gone up and down and up and down and up and down since then - lol. But.... it's always the same 15 pounds or so. I think sugar and carbs and water weight certainly configure into that.Overall, I'm confident in the DS and how the malabsorption has been saving my bacon, so to speak. I'm sure if I'd have had the RNY I would have been regaining by now!
Just for a sum up for historical reference... on February 14, VW and I "downgraded" or "downsized" however you want to put it - back to friends. It was actually a relief - I had been so frustrated for a long time with the lack of passion from him - he's so low key and totally not into physical touch that I just felt rejected a lot of the time. On one hand, I knew he totally accepted me, skin, scars, and all, so it was very healing in that way - but on the other hand, my cynical side said, "well of course he accepted you that way, he was just not that into you so he didn't care". Oh well, I know there is a man out there that God has for me that will think I'm the best thing since sliced bread and appreciate my passion and energy. Part of what I think kept me fat for so long was emotional scars and fear of my own sexual passion.... and I definitely am more comfortable with myself at this stage in life and know I'm not just going to give in or go against my standards and values just to have a guy pay attention to me - forgetaboutit! I was super happy, though, that VW and I had never actually gone all the way - that is my personal comfort level that I do believe in leaving sex for marriage according to the Bible. :)
Anyway, so in February I downgraded to friends, so for a few months I felt at a bit of a loss, even while being relieved and all. We are still good friends, but I think making the adjustment might have been harder for him than me. He hadn't the same amount of experience having women as friends as I have with men as buddies - but I think we're finding a comfortable level of friendship now. I don't see him very often and probably talk once or so a week and it's okay. It's time to move on to other things. I'm getting more involved with my church and joining choir and going to get going to the gym regularly. I did while I was on vacation in Seattle and it felt good to work that cardio and lifting again. :)
So, I'm a little higher weight wise than I was on vacation for some reason - I'm pretty sure the water weight monster is with me again. Just before vacation I had dropped 14 pounds water weight - crazy! My Dr. says it has to do with the veins in my legs - I really need a procedure called the Vnus, but my insurance wont' cover it, blast them.
So, there ya go, an actual post on my journal! I'll try to be a little more consistent. I just got a facebook page, so maybe I'll link that with some more pictures. I still have picturetrail and need to get a few more pictures up. In Seattle I got another front/side/back shot from a trainer at my old gym, so I'll have to add those!
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About Me
Las Vegas, NV
Location
25.3
BMI
Surgery
03/10/2005
Surgery Date
Jan 03, 2005
Member Since
