Kim27sd
Oh what a ride!
Feb 12, 2009
I joined weight watchers a couple weeks ago to help get the last 20 pounds off and to maintain my weight. As more time goes on I am realizing just how bad my addiction to food and and what a bad relationship it is that I have with food...the question how do I fix it??? I was thinking about maybe reading the dr phil book and doing the exercises for his weight solution to help me get inside of my head to get those things straightened out. I have went to a counselor Mary Ellen but its almost like she doesn't seem to think that I have a problem and when I call her to go see her we only talk about body image and the things that I bring up and when I do talk about the food it is like she glazes right over that....thinking maybe I should find someone else???
I have also set up an appointment for a consultation for a LBL and a breast augmentation so we will see what happens with that. Not sure when I will beable to get it done but well see what he has to say. Gotta run before I burn the burgers on the grill! I can't wait for summer!!
Weight 4 Me Christmas Weight loss Program
Nov 19, 2008
My Fireman
Oct 20, 2008
Well here the other day I stopped at the grocery store to get a starbucks and I had called my mom when I was sitting out in the car talking to her who but walks out is my fireman with his fellow fireman doing their shopping. SO the next time (which I think is tomorrow) I am going to get all dolled up and go to the store when he is there and say hi to him whem I pass him in the isle well see if that does the trick and breaks the ice at the gym! TIme will tell
I DID IT!!
Oct 19, 2008
The weeks before the race I kept telling people that I think that it will be my last race because it was to the point that I didn't really like running anymore. I wanted to run because I wanted to run and enjoyed it, not because I felt that I had to. After finishing the race I knew that I was going to run another race. Tonight I was looking at running a 10k or even a half marathon but I am going to see how things go first. I am going to continue running everyday and if something comes up I will do it but as of right now I am going to put a half marathon on the back burner. I am going to concentrate on getting my speed up so I can run a mile and a half in like 7-8 minutes for when I am testing for police officer position.
I am just so proud of myself for completing the 5k without walking and in a great time of 32:40 which is approximately 11:03 per mile
5k HERE I COME!!!
Aug 29, 2008
THIS CRAZY LIFE!
Jul 27, 2008
I have been thinking the past couple of days that I have hit a plateau because my weight has stayed the same for the last two weeks. Then I thought that maybe because I havent been making the best food choices the last couple of weeks either....well today I got my period and I immediately thought ahh ha the culprit!! So we will see here in a couple days.
I am also in the process of training for a 5k which I know I will be ready for on Oct 18 I just need to start running outside more to get used to that. I have really been thinking of going back to a trainer for a few sessions. Along with training for this 5k I am also training for the physical ability test to become a police officer in Nashville, TN. So I am thinking if I go back to them for a few sessions they can show me some more exercises to get up my endurance and strength cause I want to whoop those guys asses in that obstacle course!!! I can't believe that the time is coming to go and do the testing I only have one more year or less before I go....it is something that I have wanted for the last 5year s and it is so hard to believe that it is so close! I am starting to freak out! I know no one there, all of my family is in south dakota, I know I have all of their support but it is just really hard to leave the fam. I just want to start a new life and have new people in my life and spread my wings and fly! I have decided once I move to nashville that I am going to keep me having the surgery on the DL. I am not going to tell anyone I don't absolutely have to tell. Here it is like everyone knows that I have had surgery and it is something that I am constantly explaning or defending and I am sick of that I just want to be me and not be judged by having had this surgery. So anyways I want to lose another 50 pounds before taking the test and get into shape for the testing. Everyone is telling me that I don't have that much more to lose and that I shouldn't lose much more but you know what their not me and their not the ones living in this body or in this life. I want to get to my goal weight of 135...not 200 sometimes I think it is just because they aren't used to seeing me so small that being any smaller than I am is completely different territory I have never been this small in my adult life before. I am going to do what I feel is right and if they don't like it they are just going to have to live with it.
Life is Grand!
Jul 13, 2008
A BMI of 33.9! It is so shocking to me, I just don't think that should be my number I am used to it being in the 40's and 50's. I love my RNY!
Well I just got back from vacation which was a blast, for the first time I can say I actually lost weight rather then gained weight on vacation! I lost 4 pounds! I did alot of walking and ran one day, kept busy the majority of the time so that always helps. I did run just one day while I was there and I thought that it was going to kill me! I was in a much higher elevation then what I am used to so I thought I would just put the training off for a week and get right back into it on monday. Today is the midway point so I really need to step up my game now and really train hard. Going to the gym tomorrow and lifting is really going to suck since I haven't done it for a week. The week before I left I just upped some of the weight I was lifting so will have to see how that goes. It will feel good though to get back into it, I really missed it. Who would have ever thought I would say that!
Everything else is going pretty good but having issues with my blood sugar. It is getting really low and I try to do what I can to get it up but sometimes I just feel like passing out. I went to my dr but doing what he told me to do makes it worse so i think that I am going to call my dietian and talk with her about what has been going on and see if I can get a better result. Other then that things are going great, the weight has just been melting away and I haven't had a stall since march...**knock on wood** so I am really happy with the way that everything is going and my personal life is just getting better and better!
Live Life to the Fullest
Jun 10, 2008
There is a guy that I have been seeing his name is Kevin. I like him so much, to tell you the truth I have liked him since the first time I met him and that was almost 15 years go! For a long time I liked him off and on because I would never see him and then when i would the cycle would start all over again. Well for the last, I would say 3 years I have liked him on a consistant basis because i see alot more of him. Well I went out on my first date with him in april. From what people tell me that he really likes me alot. well we went out again in may and have made plans to do other things.We always have a good time when we are together and people keep telling me that he likes me alot, but the thing is he isn't showing it. I know that he is really shy which I understand but hello I have basically put it all out there but verbally saying that I like him and he won't call me to do anything I have to call him, and he hasn't even tried to hold my hand or even kiss me!!??? What the hell? If he likes me so much why doesn't he do something about it? So I have decided that I am going to give him till July 6 and if he doesn't do anything about it then I am moving on. I will date other men and if he gets the courage to ask me out fine I will go but I am definately going to play the field. The one thing that I really don't like about him is that he wants to sit at home all the time and I have sat at home for the last 27 years I don't want to sit at home anymore I want to be out having fun doing things and enjoying life not sitting at home in front of the TV wishing I was doing something screw that. SO I think that i will date other guys anyways becuase I have seen some checking me out!! and since I have never really dated I don't want to be in a commited relationship right out the door I want to go out and have some fun and really figure out what I want in a man.
The future is looking brighter!
May 21, 2008
What I am not happy with right now is the way that I have been eating. I feel that I have been eating way to many things with sugar and eating larger portions. I am affraid I have stretched my stomach which could be the worst possible thing ever! As of yesterday I am going back to measuring my food again and not eating anything high in sugar. My goal is to get to 200 pounds by July 4 when I go on vacation, but at this point I don't know if that is going to happen because I still have 27 pounds to lose in a month. I know it can be possible with WLS but the way my weight has been coming off I am not so sure about that. Alot of people have had big numbers like losing 15 pounds in like a week and I have not had that. the most I have lost was 5 pounds in one day and that was right after surgery for the most part I lost about 3 pounds a week.
I am affraid I am sabotaging myself. I know I am with school I think that I am just scared of the unknown. With school I only need two more classes to graduate with my associates degree and then I am free to get a job, but do you think I have done it...nope I have taken the class 3 times becuase I have dropped out of it...I just don't know why I am so scared to do it. I think the fact of moving across the country from my family is what is hard for me, and also expecting more of myself. Becuase in the past I could always blame the weight for not doing something or not succeeding but now the weight will not be there and it will all be on me. I am so affraid of failure I won't even try something. than I listen to a garth brooks song called how you ever gonna know? and I think to myself how am I ever going to know if i never even give it a shot so than I get myself all hyped up about it and ready to try it and than I starting thinking about it again and talk myself out of it it is just a vicious circle. I just need to get my shit together and do it.
Right now I am training for a 5k in October which is two days after my birthday what a great present that will be. I am going to run it with my best friends sister it is going to be so much fun. The training has kinda sucked the last couple of days because of this cold that I have it makes it harder to run and I get alot warmer because of the cold but I am sticking to it. I have found in the last couple of years that I was exercising that I love to run so it is definately something that I want to do alot more of. I also decided when I hit the 200 mark I am going to start taking tae kwon do again. I did it for a month about 10 years ago and I loved it, so definately something that will give me exercise and I will love doing it. I also want to see if I can find a weekend volleyball league. I love love love volleyball! I wouldn't mind doing it during the week but the only thing is, is that it would be at night and since I work nights it wouldn't work out so have to see if I can find one on the weekends. I will have to call the Y or something to see if they have anything.
Another thing that I am working on is passing a physical ability test to become a police officer. The only thing that I am worried about not passing is having to scale/jump over the 5ft wall. I am sure once i build my strength and get my speed up I will have no problem. I know that I will do great on it. I am going to go to nashville to test because that is where I would like to work. I have about a year and 3 months left to train and get in shape for it. I just wish it was time already I have waited years to do this and now that it is about time it feels as if it is going at a snails pace. I know it will come soon enough, and then I will be leaving behind my friends and family to go make new friends and make a life for myself. It is just so exciting be think that it is only a year away!! it is just so hard to believe sometimes. I can't wait.
Another size smaller!!
Apr 17, 2008
For about the last 2 weeks I have been very bad about taking my vitamins. I haven't taken them at all this week and I am thinking that is why I am feeling so sluggish. I absolutely hate taking pills but I know that I have to take them because I certainly don't want to get osteoporosis, but haven't been good about taking the calcium either. I could have the pills sitting in front of me for hours having me stare and them thinking about how much I don't want to take them rather then just taking them. I opted for the b12 shot because I knew there was no way I was going to take the pills everyday and I certainly don't need the problems that not having b12 can cause you. I really just need to step it up and start taking them everyday no excuses and do it in the morning so I don't have to dwell on it all day that I have to take them. I will get something figured out.
Today when I went to the gym I wore a shirt that was a L!!! I was so excited even though it was a little tight it fit. I didn't care what the people thought about it I wasn't there for a fashion show I was there to work out for me and I felt comfortable enough in the shirt hell yes I am going to wear it so anyone that didn't like it can shut there hole. Eventually they can eat there heart out! Plus yesterday I went to lane byrant to get a pair of pants and I got a size smaller! Which was awesome...alot of my clothes now are to big so I am going to have to hit good will and the rummages this summer I will buy a few nice things from the stores but not going to go hog wild just yet until I have gotten to goal until then I will get nice second hand stuff.