Kimberly M.

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Hey Everybody!

So its been a while since my last post. Where has the time gone? However i do check the board several times a day. I found out my surgery date on May 15, and i never thought i would make it to the 1 month mark. Everyone was right the time does fly. Hopefully it keeps going just as fast. It didt hurt having a birthday in that time. that week just flew by. Didnt do anything fancy, just a nice dinner out to my Favorite restuaunt (Red Lobster) one last time before surgery. Probably going to be a while before i can eat there again. That reminds me that i need to get in one more chinese take out.

My Pre-Op testing is June 17th. Is it wierd to be excited? I am, i think it finally feel real when i am in there chugging berium. It says im scheduled for my Upper GI then PST (pre surgical testing i assume). I wondering what kind of tests this consists of. Im very Curious.

And then OMG two weeks from monday i start the two week liquid diet! I feel good about it now, and imagine myself getting through it with no problem. Maybe ill be one of the lucky ones and not have a difficult time. Who am i kidding! Im secretly fearing the worst in the back of mind. My dad said he would try it with me but i dont think he can hang, I feel like i still have so much to get. I have to drink 6 protien drinks a day for the first week (thats big money) and the second week i have to get the IMPACT recovery drink required by my doctor. Thats another 50 dollars and can only be ordered offline. Ive also been stocking up on the vitamins ill be needing and some post surgery essentials

So thats all thats been going on. Not much just working and taking it one day at a time, trying to focus on anything but the surgery. July 6! Cant wait for that Day! 29 Days to go!

He Ya'll

    So i waited all day for for thursday to come! Thats the day that my surgeon's office said i would find out my date. Thursday came and went, no call. So i gave them a ring on friday morning, and she said i probably wouldnt find out until MONDAY! what the F****! I was so upset. I know this seemed silly becasue i new i was approved, but just the waiting was killing me. But low and behold i pulled my phone out of my purse around 5 oclock that evening and I had a missed call and a voicemail from them. I was so excited, i was jumping all over and screaming, and was standing on my bed when i played the message. She said my surgery was July 6, and pre-op testing June 17! I am supposed to get a packet in the mail with all the info! I can not even tell you how happy i was this weekend.
 
I started making a list of everything that i wanted to buy. I thought i would start buying one thing a week so i didnt have to fork out the cash all at once. But i indulged myself this weekend. I bought a pill minder, a couple of the vitamins ill need for after (walgreens had them buy 1 get 1 free), a blender bottle ( on sale at GNC) and few different protein drink samples to try. I tucked everything away in acloset until needed. My birthday is next week and i asked for a Magic Bullet! Hopefully my wish comes true.


I had my Bariatric Living Class this week, which i was dreading (just becasue of schedule conflicts) and i thought that it was going to be all the same thigns i have been researching and learning from OH. I thought i knew pretty much everything. WRONG. I am so happy that they require this class, it gave me step by step drink by drink instructions for pre and post op liquid diets and vitamin information (i was totally lost on vitamins until then). It turns out my surgeon has very particular instructions for his patients. Our packets were  twice as thick as the other doctors patients. We have to buy a special drink the second week of the two week diet, and we take more vitamins after. They made remarks about they were glad their list wasnt so long. But in all hosety i feel lucky to have a surgeon who feels so strongly about his patients care to be the odd man out in his practice!

Well i think ive rambled on enough, that is whats new with me this week, anxiously waiting July Sixth!


xoxoxo
Kim

Hey Ya'll

So im still anxiously awaiting to find out my date. Only two more days till i get the call!.

Ever since i got the call for my first consultaion, i dream about the surgery. Whether it be, im actually on the table, in the hospital, life after, or finally making it to goal. I have these dreams many times a week. I think its so wierd that is taken ahold of me like it has. It's like the first time i actually have HOPE! I know if i utilize my tool and follow the rules i have chance to be "normal". Do you ever see those skinny girls at the movies, or a resturant, or shopping, and you look at thier waist and it looks smaller than your thigh. And you think what it must be like to walk around with such a small body. Why wernt you chosen in life to have that figure. Why on earth was i selected to be Ginormous!  Ever since i decide to pursue WLS it's like i can finally see myself as that normal person, i feel like i have already been given my life back!

Is it wrong of me to want my family to jump up and down and scream for joy. My family knows how i have struggled with my wieght, and i am by far the biggest one in the family. Its not they dont support me, its just that they kinda change the subject when i told them i was approved. I feel like i always give 110% to my family and i just want a little back. I live in this new city alone with my father and i really have nobody to turn to. I was hoping i could look to my family to help me through this, but know one cares, so i cant see them making the drive down for it. Do i sound really selfish?

Well there it is, Just a little bit about what going on with me this week

Anxiously awating the losers bench!
Kim

OK, so this week could possibly be the worst week in my entire life. A series of events completly altered my life. One thing went wrong after another, i thought there was no end. But finally last night i got everything settled, things were starting to look up and i was able to get a good nights sleep.

And this Morning i woke up to my phone ringing. It was My surgeon's office, threy said that they recieved all my information and results from the sleep study , psych eval, and nutritionist appointment and they were going to be scheduling me for surgery sometime after mid june wich is the time frame i shooting for in the first place. YAY....... Although i didnt  get  my exacct date yet, she said i will get it next thursday, at least i know im going to be scheduled!

Im so excited, finally a bright light at the end of the tunnel of the week of hell! I feel very blessed that everything is moving so smoothly for me. I know that there alot of people who go through problems with insurance and tests, and i expected to run into these too. But the whole proccess has been rather easy. Good Luck to everyone else! Im getting closer to the Loser's Bench!

     Well today was the Day. Its seems like it took so long for my psych eval to get here becasue i was able to schedule all my other appointments so quickly. Alot of people here have told me that all they had to was take a qucik test or that they were only there for fifteen minutes So i must admit i over simplified this in my head. That just goes to show everyone's experience is different than the next person.'

     If you asked me, i do not think it went very well, i wasnt expecting to open up to her. I even got a little teary eyed, and she noticed. She aslo asked me alot of questions about the wls. I have done my research, watched a surgery, attended support groups, read everything i could get my hands on. I have well educated myself about wls. But i wasnt coming up with what she wanted to here. I dont know if it was jsut my nerves, or i wasnt understanding what she looking for. Maybe i was over analyzing everything. I just think i came across a little sad, which isnt true, ive changed my life for the better over the past year.

    Overall, after on hour, i think she will right a good report to the doctor, but there might be small details. She said she was pretty quick at getting over to their office, so im hoping that i get a call soon from Dr. Verseman's to shedule some of my pre-opt testing. Im thinking if they dont call me by the weekend i will give them a call on monday! I hope i can wait that long.

  So thats its. im gonna keep ya updated, and things seem to moving along smoothly still........


xoxo,
Kim

     Yesterday was my appointment with the dietician. Everything went really well, and she halped me understand alot of things. I even got some smaples of some drinks. She developed a goal list for me and instructed me to work on one or two things at time. They are things like, kicking soda, eating breakfast, measuring dinner.....etc... Oh and i have to start food journaling. I think that is going to be the hardest thing. Next Month, May 14 i have a follow up appointment and also a Bariatric Cooking Class! yay.

    I also made my way over the Sleep Health and pick up my take home sleep test thingmajigger. It was simple enough, i just had to strap it to my chest, put a thing on my finger and one of those oxygen mask like things that stick in your nose. Surprisingly it was not to uncomfortable, but i woke up twice in the night and i had taken it completly off and placed it neatly on my night stand. I did that all in my sleep!. I do crazy stuff like that all the time. I explained this to the lady at the office, but she said they got everything they needed and it wasnt an issue. Thank god. I would really hate to go in and sleep there. I have enough trouble falling asleep.

   So all thats lefft is the psych eval next. Thats what im most nervous about. But after that i should have another appt with dr. verseman! YAY! 

   Hope everyone is having a great day!

xoxo,
Kim
 

Yesterday, i was fumbling through some of my fathers things in his den looking for stamps. I came accross some pictures from a vacation back in october that i had never seen. I looked HUGE! Am i really that fat. I had a double chin and squniting eyes from my big round cheeks. I looked liked the type of person that i see in the store, and go well at least i havnt gottin to that point yet! I am that person. I dont feel like a fat person. When i am in a room sorrounded with people, i dont think of myslef as the big girll in the room, but i am. Through out my life i have always felt normal, i was active in high school lots friends always had boyfriends, i didnt know i was so big.

Every once in a while i would get a comment though. My mother saying something slick, my friends playfully making fun of my big head, a rude jackass i didnt even no would make a comment. Or people would say "Why are you breathing so heavy" and i know idea. Pictures always brought it back to reality though. I havnt taken full body shot in years.

Then over the llast few years i had some embarrasing moments like, not fitting into an amusement park ride, airplane seatbelt not fitting, and sitting in desks in school all mortifying.

I told myself that was little stuff, and i did notmind, but that all changes when the health problems started rolling in. I know i have to do something. I thought i permantly dealt the fat card and would never know what it was like to walk around this earth "normal".

So i have decided im taking this bull by the horns and taking control of life.i put that picture up on my Mirror, so i can look at it every day IM going to get healthy, and really take care of myself. Alot of my time i spend worry about others. Now it Kimmie time! Its invigorating! You have to love yourself before you can love others right? Im going look like on the outside what i feel on the inside and that is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!



xoxoxox,
Kim

After the long LONG wait for my consultaion, everything is going light speed now. I called and made all my appointments today. My Dieticians Appointment is tommorrow morning at 9:30! That was quck. Then in the afternoon i go and pick up the equipment for my sleep study. (did you know they can do in home sleep studies now? Shocked me!) My psych evaluation is next week. According to my doctors office i will be looking at scheduling my surgery after that! Wow talk bout fast. Last week i wasnt even sure if my insurance covered it, now here i am scheduling stuff.....lol...Im very happy and very excited. Im glad im having asmooth road, ive read that so many of you are having a hard time, this really surprises me. Well here's to me staying on a bumpless road and hoping all of you that are having problems get it straightened out! Love you Guys!!!

Kim

Hey Ya'll!!!! Okay so my first consultaion with Dr. Verseman was GREAT. I was so nervous going in, but everybody has told me that his office is really nice and helpful, so i was looking forward to meeting all of them. But i got really scared when i met the girl at the front desk.. RUDE Before she even greeted me, she was exclaiming  that the person that she had on hold was going to stay on hold becasue they didnt know what they were talking. Geez i wonder what she said about me when im on hold. She was very kurt with all the patients. Everybody turned around with that look of shock on thier face, but everyone in the wating room would snicker and make comments when she slammed the window shut. I know she is busy, but damn. Next Gwen, came and got me. She is WONDERFUL by the way. Very nice. The rest of staff after the receptionist was very enjoyable. They made me very comfortable. 

I started out by getting my hieght and weight checked, (actually lower than i thought) but i did find out i was 50 percent fat...YIKES. THen i was taken to a room to wait for the doctor. Enter Dr. Verseman. He is Great very nice, and didnt even flinch when i brought out my mile long list of questions. He had almost covered them all before i even got it out. He went over diagrams and explained the surgery. Then the embarrassing part, i had to lay on the table, belly out in front of this gorgeous doctor. It wasnt too bad, i didnt have to gown up, and it was over quick.

But this is the best part. I was told my insurance doesnt require the 6 month pre diet anymore, YES YES YES YES, i was so happy. He asked what date of surgery i wanted to aim for and i had told him the window in between semesters jul- september. So He got me started on the test's i have to get done. Im going to call and make all the appointments tomorrow. HOORAY!!!!

lol that might be considered rambling but i had to get it out. Im so happy!!!!!


Love Kim

     Last year, i was working 80+ hours a week, my stress level was through the roof. I left school in order to work at what i thought was a dream job. Not only that but i was struggleing with bills, my health was bad, and this job that i loved didnt offer me any health insurance. I felt like i was slowly killing myself.

     In november,  I woke up morning fed up, i quit my job and walked out. The only person i could think to call my father who lived hours away. He must have been able to feel the pain i was in. He offered me a great oppurtunity. He told me to get rid of my apart, sell all my things, bring just the clothes i needed, and to move in with him and his new wife (and her kids). That way i could just go to school full time, not work, and be put on his health insurance. I've been working since i was 15 years old. I grew up with a single mom, i had to work to get the things i needed. This is the first time since then i did not work full time. So a week after that i was moved into my new room. I went from being an only chiild to one of 5! Part of the terms was, that i had to get rid of my car. It was beautiful, brand new but 400 dollars a month. Plus insurance for a 22 year old! Out of the question says my dad. 

     So for the past 5 months i have been getting dropped off and picked up everday from school. But im a happy full time student. Yesterday my dad told me he wanted to give me something, becasue he was proud of how hard ive been working and not complaining.. It was a car. I was so excited. I never expected this to happen. I am very grateful. 

The car is Saturn SC2. Possibly the smallest car on the face of the planet. I am 5'8" 300 lbs. How the hell am i supposed to fit in this thing. My thigh is bigger than this car. It is very cute, red, sunroof, he did a great job picking it out. My dad just doesnt think of things like this. It probably never crossed his mind that it was a little small for a big girl. So now all i keep thinking, Is if i really do go through with this surgery. A year from now, this car could be the perrfect size for me.

     So my dad did something really nice for me. I was upset by the size, but maybe this is meant to give me more motivation. I didnt tell him about my concerns. hopefully one day i wont have to worry about the size of a car, or a plane seat, or amusement parks, or seating at the movies. All these things i avoided and didnt even realize. WLS could be my ticket. 

He fully supports me inmy decision to venture into WLS surgery. He knows how hard i have struggles with my wieght through years. He wants whatever makes me happy. I love you Daddy!