kit_n_fish

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Well, i worked my way through the constipation thing, i think?  I actually had to take 1-dose of exlax.  Oh man, much better, and have pretty regular since.  I have been VERY lucky 'so far' - have not thrown up once.  I have to admit, this was what scared me the most about having this surgery!  I hate to throw up!  I realize that nobody enjoys it, but it scares me to death!  I am so afraid of blowing out my staples!  I'm afraid of having to go back in to have it repaired I also have a confession to make, i haven't really walked much since my surgery either, how insane is that?  I have lost 59 pounds so far (IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE)??? I was 287 on 1/27/08 and today i am 228??? I am REALLY kicking myself for not taking my measurements prior to sugery  I was a solid 24, sometimes 26 jeans and am now buying size 18-20 at Lane Bryant and size 18 in tops!  My bra size has gone WAY down, from 48DD down to 38C (much to my husband's shigrin) LOL  I don't mind it at all!  Tops fit much better!  lol  I still can't believe ME losing this weight!!!  It seems so surreal to me, like it seems blurry at times, like a dream sequence or something.  

Work is going great, although my emotions are all over the place.  Keeping them in check, for the most part, at work, but-at home i seem to just let it all out.  I DON'T KNOW WHY THOUGH?????

This too shall pass?

My 6 week check up is on March 27. I am nervous but anxious.  What if my scale is WAY off?????  I know its not, but i just usually don't have good things like this ever happen to me.  I hope i don't wake up and find this all a dream.

THANK YOU JESUS FOR GIVING ME THE STRENGTH!

I have never really had this problem, in fact probably borderline obs.. It has been 4 days of this!  Feel like i'm going to blow up. Call Dr. Srikanth's office and Vickie told me to get some magnesium citrate, drink 6-10 oz SLOWLY. Shouldn't  take long at all!  LOL that was at 5pm tonigt, and i am typing this ay 10:30pm. I feel miserable.  Been drinking plenty of water daily. Well, that's about enough of that, pity oarty over with :-)..On a great note!  Weighed this morning and i am down to 235/lbs!  YAY! 70 more to go!  i love you guys and so glad i have people on here who know what i have been/am now going through!  Just like a mtg of Alcoholic Anonymous!  Common goals! Like my 15 yearold daughter would say, "That's AMAZING"!   omg :-)

Morelater,
teresa...235/lbs

I am trying to keep track of my weight here in the beginning,  
1/26/08 - 287/lbs
RNY - 2/5/08
2/25/08 - 235/lbs  and still going strong!

Just wish i could get this darn weight tracker to work! I try ckicking on it and nothing.

Thank you for making room for me on the losers bench!!

I made myself a promise to get on here tonight and update this poor neglected page!  I stared back to work full time at my same old job...8-8.5 hours per day.  I was also supposed to go to my Monday night women's candlelite AA mtg.  didn't go to that either! You see, last mon of the month is our birthday night.  Cakes, cookies, KFC!!! Lasagna, chips dips, and chinese, and so much soda you wouldn't beieve it! So, besides isolating and having my very own private pity party here at the house, i coud actually.  I am getting plenty of protein daily, taking ALL my suppliments, water is all good. I am in my third stage of eating, sf applesauce, sf jello, instant cream of wheat, home made split pea soup! Popsicles, egg flower soup, won ton soup. The really satisfys me. But, i am craving mexican food something fierce!  Sucks being in recovery 12 step program, because i can identify exactly what my problen is, and it comes down to charactor defect.  Ths loss of my food is really messing with me this week..3rd week IS the hardest! They were right :-),Does anybody else have this same issue? 
thanks,teresa...
253-632-5723-text or call!
[email protected]

Getting mi list of questions fine-tuned :)..Anxious for the WEIGH_IN..i honestly forget the exact # the day of...i was so upset and it is just all a blur.  So, double surprise tomorrow...what i WAS and what i am know...Hey, sort of like AA!  I talked to my friend at work today, they are ALLL really anxious and happy to have me back to work on Monday, yes, this monday!  I was actually thinkinh maybe 4 hour day for mon, tues, wed, lean back into i t..  I will check with Dr. tomorrow, bottom line is that io will do wjat he recommends..have frollowered hi orders, suggestions to the T so far...SO OUT OF CHARACTOR for THIS recovering alcoholic!   LOL  Will write more tomorrow after i see doc.  . Afterward, i am going for a walk with my sons GF.  Going to be a perfect day for a nice walk!  Washington State is just so damn beautiful! 

Well, today marks day 12 since RNY/Galbladder. Looking back now on my profile, such as it is, my weight on 1/26/08 was 282/lbs. I honestly don't remember the exact weight the day of surg (I want to say 260-265)? It is all a blur. As i walked down the hallway to the staging lane. Looks like a loss of 37/lbs since 1/26 (liquid diet began) Cuz this morning i weighed in on my scale which i visit daliy now, read 248/lbs! Is this flipping possible? I started and have TOTALLY maintained liquids only, as prescribed by Dr. Srikanth!  It is important to me, as is with my 12 step program of recovery.  I am only as strong as my foundation, and only as sick as my secrets. Food was becoming a BIG secret for me the last year i was eating out of control.  I have my 2 week apt with Dr. Srikanth this friday, 2/15/08. I actually CRIED today, here at home by myself, because what i have done, having the surgery, taking my precious food from me???  Secret lunches in my car, drive through windows, saying i bought a happymeal, when who am i kidding?  I bought 4 double stacks from Wendy's and had them all devoured by the time i drove back to work, less than 3 miles away! I believe i am seriously starting to mourn food, just as i did with Jack Daniel's, cocaine and ciggarretes. That was 7 years ago!  OMG can i do this again?  I HAVE to! Like those vices, food was my last big protector, my best friend, tried and true! I think it's time to call my sponsor again  Time to stop feeling so f-ing sorry for myself,.  My poor husband and daughter think i have gone over the edge :-)..I am still taking all my depression medications, wonder if they are all being absorbed completely?  Better get to bed. One of my steri-strips that was used for the BIG cut looks like its starting to get infected!!! Eewwwwwwwww..going to put some Neosporine onto it, wash my face and go to bed. Driving out to the local Fred Meyer tomorrow, get a few Valentimes Gifts, and something to cook for dinner.  I will be having my protein while everyone eats, just like tonight, first meal cooked in this house for 20 days :-)..I wish there was even a chance to have a soft poached egg, or a cup of split pea or navy bean soup along with their spaghetti..grr Mashed potatoes and butter. Some day soon, i suppose.  I need to hasve 4500mg of calcium daily.  Any suggestions on what type so that i do not have to take 1-12 pills ever day?? Onward and upward!
teresa...

Surgery in 12 hours.  Getting up at 4am, shower and be at the hospital by 5:30. I am really looking forward to getting this over with!  My nerves are shot, i am being a bitch around the house today...snapping for no reason.  I feel terrible about it..i just want it to be 8pm tomorrow night RIGHT NOW!  I hope the pain killer works!  I am so afraid of hurting..what a big weenie i am!  lol

Here goes nothing!

My liquid diet has been going great...except for having the worst craving ever for a cheeseburger!  This sucks.  And, smelling kfc and other restaraunt's when i am out and about kinds sucks too ;-)..This too shall pass i hope! 

I spent the day finishing up our spare room, bought new bedding, curtains...fun stuff! Then bought a new nightgown, robe, some fuzzy footies for the hospital. Am i really going through with this?  Who's idea was this anyway???   Of course it was mine, i know i have to do this for my health, but dang...this is HUGE!  But, i guess-so am i...won't be for long though, right? Right! 

I have an appt. in the morning, 2/4 with my anesthesiologist (sp), not sure why but i am kind of glad.  It helps me to put a face with somebody, more familiar i guess for the next day.  Knowing what to expect, for me, is half the battle. My hospital is awesome!  Every single person i have come in contact with these past few months of testing and re testing has been SO nice, and comforting! They know just when to 'divert your attention' when they insert an IV or shove a tube down your throat :-)..I know why they do it, but it is still comforting! Even when i went from dept to dept the gal would litterally take me by the hand and walk me to my next designation! Might sound sorta creepy to some at first, but it is very personable and that is comforting to me   

Purchasing my protein and vitamins from The Vitalady was a great decision! The staff was very educational and i was able to taste each and every protein i wanted to...even down to the chewable vitamins!  LOL  

I guess after writing all of this, and reading it, i know i can do this!  If i can walk away from 35 years of drinking, cocaine, meth, and ciggarettes, i can surely do this! One day at a time! 

My sponsor always reminds me that 'Time takes Time' and 'Faith without works is dead', and to PRACTICE THESE PRINCIPLES IN ALL MY AFFAIRS. And, every meeting is closed with The Lord's prayer, and we 'chant' keep coming back cuz it works if you work it and we're all worth it!  Well, it is late enough for tonight - 31 hours to go! Another chapter of my life is waiting to begin!