18 months out and all is not well in Denmark

Feb 14, 2009

It's been 18 months since surgery and truthfully I've never felt better - I am active at the gym, running like Forrest Gump and enjoying it more than I thought possible.  It's only recently that I began exercising, if I'm honest - I had GREAT intentions of doing so before now but it never lasted longer than a trip or two to the local swimming pool.  I feel good about that - I'm determined to get down the last 17 pounds and meet my goal - proving to myself, even though I'm perfectly happy at this weight, that I can complete what I started and weigh less than both my sisters for the first time in my life.  (Seriously, the first time.)

But I've fallen into old habits - eating TOO quickly, eating TOO much (not often, but still), and drinking too closely to meals.  I've also been far too lax about eating sugar before protein and not getting in enough water.   While I haven't gained back any weight yet, habits like this can sabotage my long term success so I'm working to stave them off now BEFORE the inevitable consequences begin.  Just because I can get away with more chocolate now that I'm running doesn't mean it's okay to neglect good nutrition.

I'm proud at least of that - recognizing it and working to get back on track early.  I love how I feel - though I'm more body conscious now than I ever was fat.  I notice the sagging skin, I notice the wrinkles, and the way that massive weight loss has aged me.  But I feel so much healthier.  I'm amazed at what my body can do at the gym without pain - and if the skin bothered me that much, I suppose I'd have to start saving for plastic surgery - but in this economy that's truly not likely anytime in the foreseeable future.

I can live with it.  The pros still far outweigh the cons - and my life is so much better than I ever dreamt imaginable.  I missed out of so many years of adventures I could never experience at 270 pounds - and I hope to make up for them with a vengeance.

I'm very grateful for Lexi, and Terri, and Cyn, and Dawn, and SO many people on OH that got me through those first 12 months and encouraged me and calmed me when I didn't know the difference between "normal" and "abnormal" post-op.  I hope I've managed to give back - I hope I've done the same in return.  Mostly, I hope I've been able to express what a difference those posts and messages (even the ones not directed at me) have made a difference in my life.  My OH friends truly rock.  (And if you're a friend, you're one of the 12 people that have had a truly lasting impact.)

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