Cut Day aka Surgery Day & Hospital Stay

Oct 03, 2009

OK, so I forgot to say how surgery day went - before my wake up and stuff. 


Let's start with the day before.... Cue the harp sound where you go back in time...

Church. crapping all day after sipping on magnesium citrate.  Really the gist of it.  Church was cool and surprisingly, so was I - well better than I thought I was.  I came in and napped, then woke up and drank a bottle of loveliness.  Actually, this was the best mag citrate I've ever had (Walmart!)  - cold of course.

I honestly wasn't hungry, since the night before I had a HUGE serving of left over Olive Garden w/ 6-8 breadsticks and I ate every one of those carb filled cuties too.  I ate as late as possible.  So Sunday, I drank some water and CL lemonade.  Pissed I forgot my Sprite... oh well.  I iron my fit to wear to/from the hospital.

So I'm up... took a shower and I hate taking showers @ night, but I have to scrub with this special soap tonight AND tomorrow... sigh... It's after 1am and I'm on the phone with my mom.  It seems neither one of us wants to get off the phone and the foolish thoughts start in my head - what if this is the last time my mom talks to me. I struggle for something meaningful to say after 2-3 hours of jibber jabber.  I tell her I've gotta go b/c I have only 2 hours of sleep to be had and that I love her.

3:15am - alarm goes off. Call my coworker to make sure he's awake, since he's bringing me to the hospital-  I've gotta be there 5:30am. I fall back asleep til 3:45am   I'm not that sleepy, OK, I lie like a rug.  But I'm like surely, I'll catch that up after surgery in a medicinally induced sleep after surgery, right?  So, I trudge to the shower and use the special soap.  Damn this mess dries every pore out!  No lotions, etc..  So coworker gets there @well before 4:00am -  early.  Damn his punctual ass! I just got out the shower and am now running around like a chicken with their head cut off (has anyone ever seen that - does it really happen??? I digress). 

4:00am I lock up the crib and off we go for the 60+mile hike from Douglasville, GA to Johns Creek, GA to Emory Johns Creek.

During the ride I realize I'm OK.  Stewart and I are laughing, chatting.

5:00am we get to the hospital early. We decide to sleep in the car.  I doze off & forgot to call me mom.  Well, there goes the nap.  But surely, I'll be able to catch up on sleep, right?  So mom and I talk, I go tinkle (and forgot I was supposed to hold it for a rabbit test later, but I've REALLY gotta go!!!), nice bathrooms, but it's a very nice facility all around. I go back to the parking lot to wake Stewart, as it is now check in time.

6:00 am I'm checked in, stripped - almost,  Nurse said I was to take it all off.  I told her my aunt was visiting.  They give me a pillow to put in the nether regions.  Not a real pillow, foolish ones - a pad that may as well be a pillow.   I tinkle for the test.  No rabbits.  Tried to tell the dumb asses in order to be preggers, one must have sex, right?  My lady parts haven't been familiar with foreign objects since I don't know when... celibacy... yummy!  

 The nurse is about to put the IV in my hand after I said NOT IN MY HAND! Valium has not kicked in and I'm pissed.  She numbs it w with a shot, but then immediately puts the IV in.  Even I know you're supposed to let the numbing stuff sit in there a minute and jiggle it around.  I screamed bloody murder and did all I could not to cuss that heifer out.  Coworker comes back in, we chat a few.  They tell him my room #, etc and they come to wheel me down to the pre-op area.  Valiums kicking in, but not enough.

7:00am. Now, I'm getting antsy, restless, and scared. I start whining. Yes, I do.  STFU about it!  Nurse asks if anything she can do, cuz I'm damn near inconsolable and accuse them of a placebo Valium.  I want my mommy, dammit!  So, she lets me use her phone.  I call mom and she didn't answer - wtf??? Oh yeah, unfamiliar number.  I try again - this time she answers.   She calms me down and prays for me.  Anesthesiologist comes in, he speaks to mom, said they're gonna give me some happy juice and that I can stay on phone.  Nurse said OK, I told her I'd pay her for minutes, but she said I was fine.  So the juicy juice kicks in and I say TTYL to my mom and I think lil sis popped on for a minute.

7:30am.  I'm supposed to be in surgery, but doc is late.  I doze, he wakes me about 7:45am.  The nurses asks where's their Dunkin Donuts. I say damn them - I'll take 4-6 Munchkin holes and some OJ.  They laugh, I'm dead serious.  Wrong word to be said or thought before major surgery utilizing Diprovan.

8:00am Wheeled to OR.  I remember being shifted from bed to operating table.  Remember the table Janet Jackson used in concert when she did "Would You Mind"? It's just like that. (I want one in the boom-boom room!)  I'm situated, they put the oxy mask on me and tell me deep breaths.

I don't remember what time I came to - 11am or something.  That's when I wanted to change my mind, but it was too late (see other blog).

12:30pm: I'm in room 422.  I see my coworker struggling to stay awake.  I told him to leave, he asked was I sure.  I said yeah, he asked again, I gave him a look and told him I know he didn't get any sleep b/c he got in after 1am from a trip.  He said he had to call my mom to let her know I was up.  He tells my mom and he gives me the phone, but I'm struggling with sleep.  So short convo, I tell mom I'll call later.  I bid Stewart farewell, give him a hug, tell him to drive safe and let me know when he makes it home (which he didn't do, but dude was tired, so I let that one go). 

1:30pm I call for meds cuz ooh, ouchies are a'coming. I also sneak 2 Gas X strips in my mouth to be proactive.

4:00pm-ish.  Remember when I said I'd catch up on sleep? Oh, no! I'm awaken to get vitals and walk. I walk far, I go back to sleep.

7:05pm. I remember this VIVIDLY!!!  I'm up and I'm feeling a lil pain.  Let me call for meds while the pain is manageable. 7:20pm: Pain is worsening - rapidly. I call again. Same response, I'll tell the nurse.
7:30pm: I start moaning and called again begging for something - PLEASE???!!!!!
7:45pm I'm screaming in pain - I mean LOUD cuz this ish hurts. I'm inconsolable @ this point.
7:50pm: Finally get some relief. I can go to sleep.
10:00pm Respiratory comes in. Damn it, I was on a roll. I go back to sleep, but not for long, because...
10:30pm: VITALS! Back to sleep.


Tuesday, September 15, 2009 - the day after
1:30-2:00am-ish Time to walk so I can get meds.
4:00am - VITALS - now, why in the hell can't they combine this with the walk?  Just plain evil.
8:00am - time for leak test. I jump up, feeling energetic, ready to walk.  A chick who had her surgery same doc, same day can't walk - she's bad off with gas.  I take test - crap wasn't so bad to drink as I thought - not good, but I've bad worse - as in barium. 

We go back to rooms.  I tell her I'll sneak her some Gas-X, since it's contraband (one nurse said she didn't care, just don't have out in open).  It helped her out when I went back to check on her.  My lips are dry and so is hers.  I left my chapstick at home damn it!  Her hubby offered to go get me some.  I explain I only have my debit card.  He said he didn't ask me all of that, that I helped his wife out. He asked if there was a specific kind - I tell him the moisture one in blue tube.  She me and her talk while he's gone (we actually met @ pre-op).  So, here he comes.  I thank him and leave, since the nurse has come in.

12:20pm - I'm sleep with my teddy bear and in comes co-workers & ex-boss.  Oh well, I've joked about Mr. Purnuple anyway - some didn't believe me, I guess.  In walk the ballers (all sups) with a lavender balloon.  I said "a".  As in uno. As in one.  Yes, my ungrateful ass mentally called them a bunch of cheap so and so's. (Found out one wanted to stop and get flowers @ the store, was voted down.  Cheapest arrangement @ gift shop was $40 for a very small arrangement.  So? $10 each wouldn't have hurt them... lol...  My ex-sup never heard from me what I was having - there's a reason I call him Chatty Patty.  But I knew he knew and one of the sups (that discharged me from hospital and had surgery earlier in year) said it was talked about on the way there.  His surprise was so fake when I told him, I couldn't do anything but roll my eyes.

That ends the excitement of Day 2.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009 - D-Day (Discharge Day) aka The Day After the Day After

1:30pm - Dr. Johnson finally comes around. O2 was low during night and I keep having fevers.  Plus, I couldn't pee on own until last minute.  Will need to stay few hours more to monitor all the above.

3:30pm Coworker/one of the sups comes by.  I tell him I may not be going anywhere.  We chat and watch Oprah remembering MJ. I'm dozing on and off on him... sorry, Dre!  We have a feast - I have a Popsicle.  This fool has the NERVE to have a Coke and crackers in front of me (I love Coke and sprite w/ saltines).


6:00pm - I tell him he might as well leave cuz it doesn't look like I'll be going anywhere.  He goes to check to see what time tomorrow I'll be discharged so he can come back.  He comes back tells me he's not going anywhere b/c I am.  I'm scared - on my own!  Fever have gone, temp stabilized for last 6 hrs, I can pee a lot, and O2 is lovely. I have the option of staying, but dude is here and $$$, so I roll out.  I'm kinda pissed b/c dude was gonna do stuff around my crib had I been let out earlier... oh well.

7:45pm.  Home sweet home!  Dre asked if I wanted to be up or down stairs.  Too tired to go up, so I stay down.

8:30pm:  His relief, another coworker comes,  She's staying with me to help after work.  We sit and watch the Oprah -Whitney interview on DVR - parts 1&2.  They watch - I doze in & out.  Dre gets ready to leave.  They help me upstairs and tuck me in - how special!

There ends that saga.  Now, why all the co-workers you ask? Well, I don't have family here.  I do, but they're far from me, but still Metro ATL,  AND, outside of my mom, sis, uncle, and one cousin, I didn't want ANYONE in the family finding out.


The End (cuz I don't know what else to say!!!)

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