Time for an update....and it ain't pretty!!

Apr 21, 2008

I think I was getting myself into some trouble this weekend...pretty sure I was dehydrated and just had not been eating right AT ALL. Could this be the reason for the slow down lately? Probably so. It is so, so, so easy to fall back to old habits.....so be very careful my friends! Learn from my stupidity....I have plenty to go around...LOL! 

We went camping this weekend and I honestly don't think I even took a SIP of water in two days. I was living on coffee and sugar and let me tell you by the time I got home on Sunday I was SO dizzy and just felt horrible. I knew immediately what was wrong. I had done it to myself! How proud was I?? I felt like a complete idiot and I still can't believe after all I have done, worked so hard, that it was that easy to slip back to the old ways. I definately don't dump sugar.......UGGGGHHHH. I was counting on that!  

I poured Crystal Light with ProtiDiet protein supplement down myself until I felt like I was floating. Finally last night at about 11 I was peeing clear and felt much, much better. I was so pale and weak...Kenny wanted to take me to the ER, but I knew what I had done and luckily I knew how to fix it pretty quick. S T U P I D 

I've gotten so wrapped up in living lately and loving it, I forgot TEMPORARILY what I need to do to stay this way and to be even better! This was my wake-up call and boy am I ever awake. I remember those sick, yuck feelings. It was like an old ghost creeping back in. I don't want to be that person again. I WON'T BE THAT PERSON AGAIN! 

So....word to the wise....be diligent in what you are eating, what you are drinking, and what you are NOT! I still have the foggy head today but I am sure my electrolytes are WHACK. I should be straightened up in a few days with good nutrition and lots of liquids. Geez.....I bet I don't do this again. 

Be well my friends and Happy Spring!!
Love you all ~ 

Is it spring yet?? Geezzzz.........

Mar 23, 2008

Seriously...this weather is KILLING ME!  For the first time in years I actually want to get out and run and play with my kids.  I am just itching to get out and walk with Drew if it would ever warm up enough!  It is supposed to snow here tonight..(just flurries, but ENOUGH ALREADY)!  We have had some really pretty days, just still really cold. 

I have been in quite a stall lately.  I don't know if it is actually a stall, after I entered my totals for the last two months in my "My Story" section below, or just it has slowed down tremendously, as we all know it will.  I am ok with that I guess.  Ok, I'm really not, I have 50 lbs to go.  I guess this is where the real work comes in.  Spring couldn't have come at a better time!  I think if I would just move more it would start to come off a little quicker again.  The weirdest thing is, I only lost 4 pounds I think last month and went down a pant size. 

I have noticed all my stuff is redistributing...LOL...and I have the saddest excuse for boobs that I have EVER seen!  It is just plain ugly.  I do have some skin sagging, but not like I thought I would.  Mainly my thighs...yuk.  Anybody have any ideas what to do with that??  

I just have Spring Fever really, really bad.  I am so looking forward to doing all the things I hated doing last year....working in the yard, cutting the grass, planting flowers, playing with the boys, running to 4 and 5 baseball games a week!  I can't wait.  I don't remember it being this bad before.  I guess now I actually have a life to look forward to......who knew??

WOW.....October??!!??!! Really???

Feb 01, 2008

It's hard to believe it was October the last time I was on here. I guess the good news is that once you have your surgery you kinda do get busy livin life and stop obsessing about the weight and the surgery so much. That took some getting used to, but I love it. 

I have lost 88 lbs in the past 7 months and I feel absolutely wonderful. I honestly don't know how I ran with these three boys when I was heavier. It is no wonder I was freakin exhausted all the time! Ohhh...make no mistake, I'm still freakin exhausted, but normally exhausted, not huffin and puffin up the steps and fallin asleep at the drop of a hat, being hot constantly exhausted. 

I have to say...I love my life now. I am learning how to be better every day. I thought I knew what a profound effect all that extra weight had on my life, but I had no idea......

The best lesson so far has been that a better me means a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, daughter, granddaughter, aunt, sister....you name it. Better me has been better for everyone. When your big dumb brother notices how much happier you are and how you are like your old self, AND tells you how much he has missed you without even knowing it....you've done something right.  

I can eat anything I want now and I DO NOT dump with sugar, so I have to be very careful. I am just going to be honest here....I have had bad days. I have eaten bad things and I have felt like crap afterwards. I think the difference now is I don't give up. This is not a diet, it is truly a life change and there is no getting away from it. 

I can eat more now so I am learning to practice portion control. That is scary to me. I was counting on puking my guts out at the first sign of overeating, and believe you me, that happened, but it goes away and you have to be accountable and responsible TO and FOR yourself. I'm learning to do that every day.

I have found that I do much, much better when I write down what I eat. I hate doing that, but my best days, mentally and weight loss wise, are the days I do this. On the days I don't I feel very lost, like I am floating out there all alone. Stupid, I know, but I think that grounds me and I can see at a glance what I have done that day and what I need to still do. It helps me tremendously. 

When I went back and looked at my pages and pages of what I was eating I realized that I wasn't very balanced, so I turned to my Weight Watchers training from the diet days. I love WW. I think it is the best plan out there and I did better dieting on that than anything. I think it is the best nutritionally sound program and I did great on it until I stopped doing the program. That seems like a lifetime ago. I was different then and my mindset was different. Now I am taking what I learned there and making it work for me with my new "TOOL"!! I use the nutritional guidelines in there and it is hard NOT to be healthy! I get my 5 fruits and veggies that way, my 2 healthy oils, water isn't such a big deal for me and neither is dairy. It was the fruits and veggies. I was a protein/water/dairy machine. Now I feel better about the balance thingy.

Like I said...a learning process and I am learning every day.

The best day EVER.....

Oct 26, 2007

I woke up this morning and slipped my wedding ring on my finger.  That was my own little personal secret goal.  I hadn't been able to wear it for well over a year and it made me sick.  But anyway....did I say I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SLIPPED MY WEDDING RING ON MY FINGER??????  I am just on cloud 9 today.  

What else has been goin on....let me see....I'm down 65 now.  Went to get me a pair of jeans since my only pair are getting ridiculous.  I bought a 20 and I have to take them back because they are just too big.  My GOSH that sounds AND FEELS great.  So I guess I'm an 18 or at least somewhere close. 

I ate salad last night!  It tasted so good I just wanted to cry.  I had not been able to keep salad down since surgery and (I never thought I would say this) I missed salad.  It is way better when you eat it because you want to, not because you think it is the only thing you can have to get the pounds off.  SO MUCH BETTER.  

I am gonna try for another wonderfully quiet Saturday at home with the kids today.  I have my pumpkin candles burning, Hunter is deer hunting with his dad and Ryan and Drew are here with me.  We are watching "Open Season" all cuddled up on the couch under our favorite quilt.  I know I should be out walking....but I wouldn't trade these times for the world and all that's in it.  

I have doctor's appointments next week....3 month visit with my surgeon and my GP.  I can't wait to see what my blood work says.  I'll post when I get results. 

I hope you all are doing well....Love you guys!

3 months out and LOVIN life!

Oct 12, 2007

Today is a good day! I am three months out and down 60 lbs!!   

I cannot tell you guys what a change 60 lbs is. I can walk and breathe.....up stairs! I can play with my kids and enjoy it! And lets just say I am lovin my husband in that "we just met" kinda way. I am no longer uncomfortable driving in my car. I can walk around it when it is parked in the garage and NOT rub up against it. I CAN WEAR JEANS!!!! I can tie my shoes without holding my breath. 

This surgery has made the biggest difference in my life and I just thank the Lord above for making this happen for me. I am just having a ball with my kids and my husband and I have NEVER been happier. I realize now how much that extra weight was holding me back. It really does change you as a person. 

When I think about how far I have come and how far I am going to go......it is just amazing. I can't imagine the changes that will come when this is all over and I am on here bitching about maintaining my ideal weight. OH HAPPY DAY!!

Love you guys! Thanks for listening.......


Sep 26, 2007

Ok...head games have officially taken over for the past few days.  The longer I am in this thing, the more I realize that EVERYTHING is gonna change for us, right down to the way we think about things.  I knew this goin in, didn't I??? 

The head hunger has just been killing me.  I can eat more things now, and that is a good thing and a bad thing.  I am not hungry, but I find myself wanting to eat.  That is a familiar feeling that I hadn't missed and hadn't had to deal with until now.  It has become painfully obvious to me that this really is just a tool...not a quick fix.  We still have to do the work.  I knew this goin in, too, didn't I???

I caught a little bit of the Biggest Loser a few weeks ago and one of the trainers told one of the participants that you have to eat to lose weight, fuel your metabolism if you will.  WHAT??  So, I guess this notion I have lived by FOR-EVER....don't eat=lose weight, could that possibly be wrong??  Maybe so.  

I have been in another stall for the past couple of weeks...50 pounds and holding.  I was so frustrated that I called my nutritionalist and bitched and moaned.  She told me what I already knew...I had to shake it up.  I had to change what I was eating and I had to MOVE.  Yes Ms. Schwartz...you are doing a very good thing Ms. 10,000 steps a stinkin day.  

Well, I have to tell you, it is working.  I have changed everything I was eating and actually eating more than I ever have since the surgery, upped my protein even more than 70, added some veggies, and more complex carbs.  Apparently I got stuck in the cottage cheese/scrambled eggs/protein shakes rut.  That was the majority of what I was eating.  I never could eat the fish very well without getting sick, so I completely gave that up.  I am doing really well with grilled chicken lately.  I try to eat veggies at every meal and V8 a couple of times a day.  I still usually have one protein shake some time during the day and plenty of dairy.  I added yogurt to my shakes for the protein and the creaminess.  It is nothing for me to get all of my fluids in now.  That is never a problem.  I have lost another six pounds in the last 5 days.

The dreaded head games.....it really is the hardest part for me.  I absolutely refuse to fail at this.  I will fight those games if I have to to come out on the other side victorious.  

I already feel better after writing this!  Thanks for listening you guys!!  

Let the games begin      


Sep 11, 2007

Today is a big deal for me.  I set a goal early on to be down 50 by my 2 month surgiversary and I DID IT!!  I am so excited. I have been fighting with the same pound for days and days and today it finally came off.  This last 10 pounds has been a little challenging. I have learned a lot about my little pouch and how to take care of it.  I just feel so thankful today.  Thankful to all of you, especially my 2 Stephs!, for the support.  Thankful to God for making this possible. I just feel wonderful. I know I need to put pics on here, but I am still a camera phob. I told you....old habits die hard around here.  ANYway...just wanted to update and say thanks to you all.  This is truly the first time in my life I have met a goal and not wanted to celebrate with a banana split or some other sinful treat.  THAT really feels great.  I think I'll go get a pedicure today instead!!  Love you all ~

The WEEKLY update!

Sep 09, 2007

Well, not much to report this week. I am holding right around 50 lbs lost, I am playing with 2 pounds either way, but I started my period so that is pretty normal for me. I feel great though. 

I have been trying new foods SLOWLY. The solid stuff is hard, it has to be literally chewed to death. I find that I chew all the taste out of it and then it just feels gross in my mouth. I haven't tried much beef yet. Chicken works really well for me and chili is still the best thing ever. 

I am two months out so I am expecting the hair to start falling out any day now. I picked up some Nioxin last week so I am ready. I get my protein in every day and my water and my vitamins too, so with that and a little prayer maybe it won't be so bad. Even still, I'd do it again in a heartbeat...50 lbs in 2 months...yea, in a heartbeat. 

I feel so much better. I have so much more energy. I just love it. LOVE IT! It has been a pretty boring week, no major A HAAAs to report, just chuggin along...LOL. 

Hope everyone out there is well...Until next time....

Ok, ok....so I'm a slacker.....

Sep 03, 2007

It has been brought to my attention by the lovely Steffanie that my profile needs some updating.  I must admit, it drove me crazy when I was preop when people would get their surgery and just disappear from here.  Now, I must say, I understand much more how it happens.  Before the surgery you are absolutely obsessed with it.  You blog every last detail.  After the surgery, there comes a point when you need things to be normal and not about the surgery anymore.  You just get busy living, BUT, that isn't helping anybody reading this to learn what to expect postop, so for that I am truly sorry.  I am a slacker, I admit it.  

I have just been kind of blah lately.  I have stalled for 2 WEEKS.  I hate it.  Last night, when I came home from camping, the scale finally moved 3 pounds.  I was so happy I almost cried.  This stalling thing has really messed with my head.  I thought maybe that was it for me.  I was just really, really down and I stopped eating, which probably made it last longer.  I actually started eating more while we were  camping this weekend and lost the 3 pounds.  I was reading my Dummies book while there and it said NOT to stop eating, to eat through a stall or your metabolism will shut down and your weight loss will slow dramatically.  Really, ya think?  So anyway, I'm over it.  

Now, lets talk about food.  I am almost 8 weeks out, 8 weeks this Friday.  I am trying to introduce solids slowly.  I just chew the heck outta whatever I am eating.  I have found that this is making the transition easier, but I still puke.  I will eat a solid with something pureed and sometimes I actually keep it down.  I find that sometimes I still eat too fast or take too big of a bite.  I guess a lifetime of cramming takes more than 8 weeks to reprogram?  Those are the times I puke the most.  Old habits die hard around here.  I always wake up starving, and I have noticed lately that is coming back.  I truly think it is in my head because there is no way I am hungry, I just want to eat because I have done it for so long.  That is a tough one to break.  

I need desperately to get on an eating schedule.  I haven't done that.  I am supposed to be eating 5-6 small meals a day.  I am just eating whenever to get my protein in.  A schedule would help me.  I need to sit down and figure that out.  I may just do that today, since I have NOTHING else to do!

We spent the holiday at our camper on the river and had a great time.  I was really worried about the eating thing out there. I cook ALOT while we are camping, BIG breakfasts every morning, especially.  I really did great out there.  I cooked for everyone else, and I did eat the lean protein (I kept some really moist grilled chicken in the fridge for me) and did really well with it.  I also cooked a big pot of fresh green beans and they were cooked to death (just the way I like em) and were absolutely delicious.  Melt in your mouth delicious!  They were really easy to get down.  I had my old faithful cottage cheese and jello, too.  I had eggs for breakfast or Proti-diet oatmeal.  That stuff rocks!  It goes down so easy and has 15 g of protein.  I make mine with milk instead of water to make it creamier and to add more protein, so I get 20 g per serving.  I love that stuff!  

So, there it is....the big update.  I hope everyone reading this had a great Labor Day!  We sure did.  I hate to see summer ending, but such is the circle of life I suppose.  I am ready for fall and FOOTBALL!!!  Let's GOOOOOO Mountaineers!!  Sorry again about leaving this thing hangin!  Love you all!!!   

It's been a while!

Aug 14, 2007

I can't believe it has been almost two weeks since I posted.  It has been very busy around here.  Summer always is.  

Well let me see....I am still in the pureed diet phase and doing ok.  My pouch and I are definately getting acquainted.  I have said all along this is a learning process, and it is so true.  

I have learned that I can eat tuna salad, but I have to wait a couple of minutes between very small bites.  That is hard for me.  The small bites thing is bad enough, but two minutes between bites seems like an eternity.  Scrambled eggs are the same if they have cheese in them, plain I only have to wait about a minute.  I guess it depends on the density of the food I am eating, that is all I can figure.  If I eat too fast, I puke.  End of story.  I tried chicken salad yesterday....no way.  That just didn't work for me.  Not yet.  

There have only been a couple of days that I haven't gotten my 70 g. of protein and 64 oz. of water in.  I try very hard to get that in every single day and I hope that will help save me from all the hair loss.  We shall see.  

All in all....I love this surgery.  It has given me more control than I ever thought I could have over food.  I just feel so liberated!  I would do this again in a heartbeat!  I am down 35 pounds in a month and am just tickled to death.  Love to you all!

About Me
Wayne, WV
Surgery Date
Feb 19, 2004
Member Since

Friends 24

Latest Blog 30
Time for an update....and it ain't pretty!!
Is it spring yet?? Geezzzz.........
WOW.....October??!!??!! Really???
The best day EVER.....
3 months out and LOVIN life!
The WEEKLY update!
Ok, ok....so I'm a slacker.....
It's been a while!