krhodes
My AHAA Moments......
Aug 03, 2007
I also didn't realize (or wouldn't admit) how much I complained all the time. I am a much happier person in the three weeks since I have had my surgery. I had to think long and hard about that one. Everyone has noticed. What's up with that? It finally came to me last night.....I don't feel out of control. I don't feel like food is controlling me. I feel like I am controlling food. THAT is a wonderful feeling, and a new one for me. I make the choices now. ME!
It has been truly remarkable for me. I have not craved, missed, longed for, etc...food. I was so ready to do this. Mentally ready. I am thankful for that. I have heard horror stories. I am not one of them. It is very cut and dried for me....I know my limitations and I stick to them...period.
I have dreams that I dump....but I never have. I dream that I eat birthday cake and it doesn't make me sick and my surgery was not successful and they did NOTHING to me in the OR! How funny is that. I always laugh when I remember in the morning. I am still scared that I will mess this up.....but I stick to the plan to the letter.
I ate scrambled eggs today!! YAY!! They were soooo good. I did eat too fast though. I remember my dietician saying to slow it W A Y down. I didn't do that. I should have. I can tell you, you know when you are full and I took about 2 bites too many AND I took a few sips of milk cause I thought it would help wash it down.....MISTAKE! I forgot we are not supposed to drink and eat at the same time. Sooooo.....I ended up in the bathroom after about 10 minutes of misery and threw up, but it wasn't bad and it was a lesson learned. I guarantee you I will slow it down and I will not drink with it again. It is a learning process, and I am learning every day.
On the brighter side...I have lost 26 pounds and I feel GREAT. Love to you all.......
A little setback.....
Jul 26, 2007
Ok...so I had a little setback. We are on vacation in NC and I started having MAJOR pain. It just got worse every day, so on Sunday I decided to go to the ER to get checked out. After 2 bags of IV fluids and a CT and chest xray it turns out I just stopped taking my pain medicine too soon. I wasn't having any pain, so I didn't even bring it down here with me. BIG MISTAKE!! They had to prescribe me some for the week. So, for those of you who are getting ready to take this step...take your pain meds, at least until you see your surgeon for followup, even if your pain is minimal. I am actually great now...having a great time, not in any pain. I felt like such a dork! Oh well, live and learn I guess. I am down 19 pounds...YAY!!! I can't tell it a bit, but I do have more energy lately. That is ALWAYS a good thing!!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS STUFF!!
Jul 19, 2007
Proti-Diet....Love it! It is a protein supplement you can put in water that is just fruity....no protein taste at all. You can actually make it like jello and eat it, but I did the water thing cause I was having a hard time getting it in. If I can add it to my sipping....that is just awesome! I mixed the Fruit Punch half and half with Crystal Light Lemonade and it is wonderful!! 15g protein YAY!!! Just wanted to share! OHHH..BTW..I am down 14 pounds since the day before surgery YIKES!!! 
This just gets better every day...
Jul 18, 2007
I woke up this morning and I felt like me....YAY!!! My pain is minimal, gas is gone, I just felt really good. Thank you God!
I think I figured out the gas thing....I was mixing up my milk/protein/ice/banana in the Bullet and I think I was just adding a lot of air, or it was the banana, either way I stopped doing it and lost the banana and the gas is gone, thank goodness.
I did find a great, SIMPLE smoothie that I love in the morning...1 cup skim milk/1 scoop vanilla protein powder/1 cup frozen fruit/2 pkts Splenda...whip it up in the Bullet and strain it at first to get rid of the seeds. I can only do half of it and save the rest for a snack later, but it is so fruity and good.
I also like the strained creamed soup. I just throw a little unflavored protein powder in there for a boost and it is wonderful because it has a normal taste, like real food.
I was having a real battle with a couple of Oreo's yesterday....everywhere I went, there they were! I considered throwing them away, and I decided that I have kids and they love Oreo's and I need to learn to live with that. I also considered telling the boys to eat them, but what am I gonna do, make them eat everything I want and can't have...NOOO!!! So...I won. I beat the Oreo's!! They are still in there, in the cabinet, still looking at me every time I open the pantry door, and today I laughed at the Oreo's. I won. It is crazy how much control I felt like I got back just in that moment.
I know this was the best decision I ever made for myself, and it will be the best for those of you still waiting too. I am pulling for you all to join me soon!
Just a few things I have already learned.....
Jul 16, 2007
2. Protein is hard as hell to get in. You just don't feel like eating. I am going tomorrow to pick up some of the Proti-Diet fruit protein to add to my water. That is just the only thing I can think of. I am having a really hard time getting it in.
3. Pudding is gooooood! I got the unflavored Unjury to add to it. I add about half a scoop to a little cup of SF pudding (or yogurt).
4. I miss sugar. The pudding helps tons with this.
5. Broth SUCKS. I cannot stand it. I tried it with protein added today (unflavored) and was sick all day.
6. Walk, walk, walk. That helps the soreness more than anything.
7. Gas has become a regular part of my day, like an old friend!
And that, my friends, is my wisdom shared for this evening...LOL.
And one more thing....who in the world has gastric bypass surgery and starts her period the day she is released from the hospital?? Oh yea, that would be me. Don't even try to outdo that one.
About those gory details....
Jul 15, 2007
I showed up at KDMC surgery lobby at 9:45 as instructed, where I quickly learned that you are asked to be there three hours before your surgery. Lovely. So you do all of these months of waiting, to show up and wait.
I was finally called and they took me up to the surgery preop area where my IV was started, 10 zillion questions were answered, put my Ted hose on, got my first Lovenonx shot in the belly, talked to anesthesia, got my antibiotics started, got a shot of Versed :) , and finally was wheeled back into surgery...about 45 minutes in preop.
Once in the OR, they moved me to the table and explained that I would be there about an hour to an hour and a half and that they were gonna take good care of me. They put an oxygen mask on my face and that was it.
Recovery room....THIS is where it gets gory...It may be just me, but I always wake up bad from anesthesia. I am always sick, so I woke up heaving, which hurt really, really bad. I remembered in our preop teaching the nurse saying that the worst we would hurt is when we first woke up. That was good to know at this point. I was sick as a dog, and mind you, this may not be true for everyone. I am just a sick waker uper, always have been. So I heaved and heaved and heaved and they gave me shots for nausea in my IV to get it under control, which they finally did. I have no idea how long I was there. I was in and out.
The next time I woke up I was being wheeled into my room, which was very nice by the way! Kenny said I slept for about 4 hours after the surgery. I had a pain pump in and the nausea was gone, so I was actually pretty good. I have to say, I don't remember much about that day or evening. Later that evening, I did get up and walk a couple of times. I sent Kenny home to be with the kids and I stayed by myself and actually, I was fine. The nurses were great and I actually rested that night.
Day 2 - I still had not had anything to drink because I had not had my upper GI/small bowel follow through test done. They did that at 8:30 in the morning. I was very thirsty, but feeling OK. I had no drains, no catheter, no nothing. He didn't think I would need them and I was so glad. The gas they blow your belly up with was beginning to get to me though. It was settling in my upper abdomen and my shoulders. The more I walked, the better that got, so I walked a lot the second day. I got a tray, but all I wanted was water, so I started the sipping of water that day.
Kenny brought Hunter up that evening and my Hunter rubbed my back forever. I love that kid. I felt really, really good. Before they left Hunter and I took a walk and I started to feel kink of yucky. I figured I must have overdone it for the day and so when they went home I tucked into bed for the night...so I thought. I woke up so sick, I mean sicker than sick. It was truly awful. The nurses said some people just get sick after surgery when all the anesthesia is wearing off and everything else....lucky me. This does not happen to everyone, but I puked every hour all night long, until about 5 am. It was horrible. I was drinking water just to have something to puke. I hadn't had any pain medicine all night long because I figured I would just puke it, so at 5 I decided what the heck, if I puke it I puke it. I was hurting so bad I didn't care. My nurse was so wonderful. She sat with me and rubbed my head with cold towels....LOVE her. I took the medicine, liquid Lortab, and slept most of that day.
That was by far the worst night. I told the nurse I was ready to lay on the floor and just talk to Jesus. I wasn't kidding. It was horrible.
This is the day they were supposed to let me go home...I just knew they would keep me. The nurses said the doctor didn't come in until later in the afternoon, so I slept all morning and got up at about 1 and took a shower and actually felt fine. It was the weirdest thing. They let me go and I was so glad to get home.
Home has been a bit of a challenge with the baby. Kenny helps when he can, but Drew wants his mommy and that makes it really, really hard. I am feeling pretty good and it really wasn't that bad at all. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am still really tired, but that is normal, and then there is that baby thing...LOL.
Now...if anybody has a problem with post nasal drip....have this addressed before you have surgery, because they think that might have had a lot to do with my night of puking. If I had only known!
Well...there it is, like I said I am feeling fine, better every day. I only have one incision that I can actually tell is there and it is in my left upper quadrant. Not bad at all....gory?? I dunno if I would even call it that.
Tomorrow is almost here....
Jul 11, 2007
I have been so busy today. It is 11:20 p.m. and I actually just sat down for the first time....except for the toilet...LOL.
I have thought back today about all of the tests, I can't even remember most of them, all the doctor's appointments, all the crap. It has been a long road, not as long as some, but still long to me. I am just so settled with this. I have known for years that this was my answer. Glory be to God for making this happen for me. I am so grateful to him, and to my friends on here. Who else would listen to me scream and insist that it would all work out in the end??
I just feel very, very blessed tonight. My kids are tucked in, my husband is watching the news, the house is clean, laundry is done, and I am ready. I am so, so, so ready.
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and I promise as soon as I am out I will post all the gory details!!
Time flies......
Jul 04, 2007
I can't believe I only have one more week to go. I have been so busy, and for that I am so thankful! I have surprised myself with this whole process. I am so very impatient that it drives me nuts, but through this whole thing I have just let that go and I know it was the grace of God.
I have done almost all my shopping....got the soup and the broth.....Splenda....s/f jello...s/f pudding....Crystal Light....the Magic Bullet.....the cute little spoon, knife and fork.....got me a set of really nice measuring cups that are stoneware and look like little tea cups. I thought those would be nice little "bowls" so I don't have to eat a tiny little bit in a big ole' bowl. I am going to pick up some smaller salad plates today for that same reason. I still have to have preop blood work and pick up my protein powder. I will do that next Tuesday. The hospital I am going to has all the protein supplements, vitmins, etc. right there, so I will just do it all at once.
I can't tell you how I hope and pray for you all that you, too get to this point. It is such a feeling of renewal....like a second chance at EVERYTHING! I want that for all of you, too. I am getting very, VERY excited. I was cleaning out my closet last night and I just decided to keep it all, cause I will need those smaller sizes very soon!!
Happy 4th of July to you all!!!! Have a safe holiday.
Love and prayers.......
WOOO HOOOOO!!!! 7/12 is the big day!!!!!
Jun 20, 2007
July 12 is my big day!!!!!! I am so excited. We are going to Chicago next week.....the boys have All-Star games starting the first week of July......and the second week I will FINALLY get to have surgery. I am so excited I cannot stand it!! Three weeks from tomorrow AND COUNTING!!! I have waited so long for this day....it is just surreal. Hopefully I will be so busy until then that time will pass quickly. ~SENDING LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU ALL~ Kristen
Almost there.....
Jun 06, 2007
One more step and I am home free. I went to the preop teaching class yesterday and I was afraid it was going to be oh so boring, but it was really great. Kind of a nice go over of everything just before surgery. We went over EVERYTHING from nutrition to the psychological effects of it all to the nitty gritty details of the actual surgery. Now I only have one more appointment with Dr. Wheeler on the 20th to get my surgery date and postop prescriptions.
I guess this is really going to happen. After all of the tests, the waiting, and the wondering, I am almost there. It is kind of surreal really. I think now that the WOO HOO of being approved has worn off a bit I am just killing myself with the what ifs. I know that without a doubt this is right for me, and I am not having second thoughts but it is making me very, hmmmm, reflective I will say.
I am so excited to get a whole new life, my old one back would be just fine with me. I am scared to death that I will fail at this. I would die if I went through all of this just to put the weight back on. I am just obsessed with doing everything R I G H T. I never want to be here again.
At the same time, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared. It just hit me the other day....I am giving up a MAJOR part of my life, my best friend really. Hey...cheesecake is ALWAYS there, even at 2 in the morning when everyone else is asleep.
I have done a lot of soul searching to figure out why I got this way. I went back to when I started gaining weight. I was in high school. I have always said I had a happy childhood, and I think I did, except for the stepdad who couldn't keep his hands off me. It started when I was about 8 or 9 I guess.
In the 10th grade when I got my license his car broke down and my mom asked me to pick him up on my way home from school so I did. He put his hand on my leg on the way home and told me that he just couldn't help it....it was my fault because I was just too damn pretty. I think from that day I believed him and ever since I have been eating my way to being NOT so damn pretty. I think that really messed with my head and I never realized it until now. I was never raped, it was all about him, but I do think it all messed with my head more than I could have ever realized.
For years I told myself, yea that happened to me, but I got over it and got on with it. I have always said that. I say it to this day. I have been wrestling with whether to talk to my mom about it. She knew...not to the extent it was going on, but she knew something. I remember her asking me about it when I was about 10 and I told her. She said she would take care of it and it stopped. I think the kid in me wonders why she didn't leave, why she didn't pick me over him....but it wasn't that easy. She had 3 other little ones at that time.
I have no idea how I got into all of that but I have to say, I feel better just putting it out there. It is a lot to carry around all the time. I never talk about it. I never even think about it. I think it has just always been there, in the background, holding me back. NO more!! I am free!!! LOL.
I talked to my husband about it a couple of nights ago, he already knew, but I just told him how I was feeling and how I thought this was the thing that had held me back and he said....well duh...LOL. I love him! It's funny how just talking about it can set you free, and now I am ready for the rest of my life, for the surgery, to play with my kids, and just to be truly happy. I am ready, and thank God I am almost there.
