Slowly crawling out of the mire

Nov 03, 2009

Post Date 10/27/09 9:09 am

My post yesterday was hard for me to type and I bawled every time someone replied - mostly from relief that you all understand.  You were so tender and gracious and just what I needed.  Thank you.  Today is better.  Tomorrow may be bad again.  I'm taking it a step at a time.  But please know that I hear you.  I hear you when you say to be kind to myself.  I am taking it in and from the bottom of my heart - thank you.

(For those concerned:  I do have a therapist and we are working on this stuff.  We're also talking about the potential for medications if we both feel I need it.  Thanks for all the wonderful advice)

In the midst of all of this, I hit 50lbs lost today.  That's 40-50% of my EWL (depending on what my final number ends up being) gone at just over 3 months. (I guess all that pooping IS a good thing)

Here is what my husband sent to me from work about my weight loss: 

"You know what's cool about you losing 50 lbs?  You'd have done that anyway with the surgery - but you've done it while keeping up a really complex nutrition regimen and you've done it right, and handled things that would have confused a lot of people.  Sometimes when you're caught up in details it's tough to see that you've accomplished a lot.  And you have - you've done a lot of complex things right."

He's been so lovely about what's going on for me emotionally.  He didn't marry an insecure, anxious woman nine years ago and he's handling me being in that place beautifully and with such care.

Second milestone:  signing up for my first 5K to take place in Central Park at the stroke of Midnight on December31st.  It's amazing how much easier running is 50lbs lighter.

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