Where did all of the time go?

Jun 17, 2008

  WOW!!!  I thought that this wasn't going to happen.  Why did it take me so long to write in my profile.  I know...my computer took a crap so I have limited time at my in-laws house to check my e-mails & other computer things. 
  My current weight is 214.  I should be doing better with my eating habits.  That same "fat girl" is coming out.  She wants sweets & then I feel like crap after.  When will I ever learn?  Soon I hope.  
  One of these days I will get new photo's up & update on things that has happen in the last 5 months.
  TA TA for now!!!

This SUCKS!!

Jan 25, 2008

  Ok, so I titles this "this SUCKS", because I only lost 11 pounds since the last time that I updated my profile.  I know that I haven't been doing everything the way that I should be.  I don't know why I do it, but I think that it is the "old me" coming out.  I try & try, but why do I give into her.  SHE IS EVIL!!!  
  I have been tring to exercise more.  Key word..tring.  I really need my DH to do this with me.  I need the supposrt, but I feel like he really doesn't care all that much.  I need the teamwork!!
  My TOPS scale read 237.  I'm happy about that, but I wish that it would be more.  
  I also changed my goal weight from 147 to 160.  I did that because all of the people that I talk to keep saying that I would be nothing then.  True or not???  I don't know.  Maybe they say that because they don't want me to be smaller than them.  I get we will see when the time comes.  Who knows, maybe once I get "plastics " done, I will be at 147.    I won't hold my breath thought.
  LATER......... 

I can't believe it finally is here!!

Dec 10, 2007

  WOOHOO!!!  It's finally here.  The TOPS scale read 248.  That means I lost 100 pounds!!    I am sooooo happy.  I can't beleive it.  I hope to loss 100 more.  Key word "HOPE".  OK OK, I will settle for losong 90 more pounds.  
  When I have time I will update more photos.  I've been feeling great, but I am worried about Christmas though.  All of my favorite things to eat.  I know that I will end up cheating, but I will do my best to put up a fight not to over do it.
  I just wanted to share my happiness with everyone.  
 Thanks to all that read my posts.   I love all of you!!   

Turkey Day

Nov 22, 2007

Yeah so, it's been awhile since I wrote last. Today is Thanksgiving & things went well. But I do have to say that the beginning of deer hunting season was tough. Last year we gained BOUT 10 POUNDS. I told Erin that this year we will be LOSING 10 pounds. We will just have to see. We like to have cakes/cookies/doughnuts. Those are just killing me. They taste so good. Why do I do this to myself? I test those things out when I know that I shouldn't eat them. Why do I do it? I am doing my exercise videos with Erin, so I am hoping that I will be losing. I hate myself for esting all of the crap. I NEED TO STOP THE OLD ME IN ME!!! I had this surgery so that I wouldn't eat the sweets, but I don't get sick, not until an hour later. Then I need to lay down or just rest. Enough about this stuff. I will write again when I have time. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!

Oops I did it again...

Oct 31, 2007

  I am so stupid.  Why the Hell do I keep doing this to myself?  Of-course it Halloween & I just can't say NO to the candy bag, so what did I do, YUP, & ate 3 mini candy bars.  You would have thought that I would have learned my lesson after my muffin, but why did I let this happen again.  I think that I just need to get rid of everything in the house so that I don't cheat.  My tummy is just aching.  I kinda feel the nausea is going on, but no puking.  I NEED to stop doing this to myself.  I waited so long for this surgery & now look what I do, I just about wreck it.  I said that I wouldn't do this, but now I do.  I hate myself for it.  I NEED MY WILL POWER BACK.  I can do it, I can do it.  I WILL DO IT.
  OK I'm good now.  That is now that I got it off of my chest, but my tummy still doesn't feel good!    BAD GIRL KRISTINA
  I'll stop now.  
TTFN

I'm so terrilbe

Oct 24, 2007

  I really do hate myself for this.  I don't know why I did it, but I ate a blueberry muffin (a BIG one).  I'm almost 6 weeks post-op & I know that I'm NOT SUPPOST to even eat that, but it just happened.  I wasn't even hungry.  I tried to  but it didn't happen.  Nothing really came out.  I SUCK AT EVERYTHING.  I think that I ashame all of the people that have & are going to be having this WLS.  I myself even told myself (pre-op) that I would never do anything to screw this up, but then there I go &  fuck it up anyways.  Why did I do it?  Was it because I am bored?  Or is it the old me just tring to break the new me?  HELP!!
  I get to go back to work on Monday, do I know that everything will be much better then.  I will be back to my regular routine & I don't have to worry about being bored all day long, tring to find something to do besides eating.  Am I terrible to be killing myself like this with all of these words.  I need to talk to Julie (surgery buddy).  I dropped my cell phone so it's not working right, so I can't call her because i can't see anything on my flip screen.  It's all white.  I need a new phone.  I just wrote her a message, but she rarely comes here to OH because alot of people are driving her crazy with some of the things that they post.  I try to just let it in on eyball & out the other.  I'm not one to really say how they feel.  I keep everything inside.   I know that is one of my major problems.  I bottle everything up & just try to eat it way.  That is why I got so f*ckin' fat.  Food is my best friend.  It is the only thing that helps me feel better.  I need my buddy.  HELP ME JULIE!!!
  Atleat I can come here to my profile page & write about things & I Don't need to worry about what people think. NOBODY READS MY PAGE ANYWAYS!!  I would probably get an ear full about that muffin thing then.  I will be better, I hopefully promise.
  Please forgive me for all of the terrible things that I have done.  Please help me to really use this "TOOL" that I have.  I don't want to wreck it.  
  If anyone reads this, could you leave me some words of helpfulness.  Thanks!!
  Untill next time...

WooHoo!!!!!!!

Oct 18, 2007

  YEAH!!!!   So I just got home from my weekly TOPS meeting & the scale finally was wonderful to me!   It said that I lost 6 pounds.    I now weigh 265.5  I'm very happy.  It's about time that scale said that I lost more than 1 1/2 fricken pound.  I can't wait now to go to my Dr. appt. on Tuesday to see Dr. Kemmerling to see what their scale says.  There is about an 9 pound difference on my scale to the TOPS scale.  Mine at home says I weigh LESS, but hey I'm happy that I am atleast lossing weight.  
  Gotta go to darts now.  Hopefully I will have a great night at dart too.  I just wish that I could have just 1 BEER.  I won't do it.  TOO SOON.
 

Waiting patiently...AGAIN!!!

Oct 15, 2007

  Yup, I said it.  I'm waiting patiently...AGAIN!!!  But for another reason.  I wish that this weight would be coming off faster.  I guess I am being to greedy then right?  OK OK I will do my best not to beat myself up about not losing the weight fast enough.
  Last week at TOPS I only lost 1 & 1/2 pounds.  I wish though it would say 5 pounds...OK 3 pounds.  Not this freakin' 1 pound crap.
  On the other hand.  My sister had her baby about 2 weeks ago & she asked me if I would like to be Kenya's Godmother.   I felt so honored.  It really made me feel good.  Now we are just waiting to see then that is going to happen.  Maybe I will look pretty good in front of church for a change. ~lol~ 
  I downloaded some new pictures.  I think they look pretty good I guess.  That green shirt is a 3X stretch shirt.  It don't feel like a 3X.  I will be using that shirt for my next pictures.  I weight about 271 in those pictures.  That is what the scale at TOPS says that I weigh.  We will see on the 23rd when I go back to Dr. Kemmerlings.  I hope that he will be proud of me, but I also hope that he won't be mad at me for not losing enough.  Maybe I better start keeping track of my protein more carefully.  Make sure that I get my 60 grams in everyday.  Maybe that is why I'm not losing as fast too.  Not enough protein.  Back to journeling my intake.  Oh-Joy!!!
  Until next time...hopefully 5-10 pounds lighter!!!

KINDA TICKED!!!

Oct 05, 2007

  Yeah so yesterday I went to my weekly TOPS meeting & I thought that things were going to be great.  WELL, I stepped on the scale & it was reading that I had gained weight.  "NO WAY IS THAT POSSIBLE", I said.  So right away I said to the ladies, "I'm sorry but these pants are comin' off".  I dropped my capri's to the ground & hopped back on the scale.  It then say that I lost 1 pound.  "What the Hell".  That's it.  I started to do my exercise video again & All I lost was 1 freakin' pound.  
  I WAS PISSED!!!
   Why is it that I think that I am doing everything right, but I'm not losing a ton of weight like everyone else??  It's not fair.  What am I doing wrong?  
  I have off of work for another 3 weeks but I don't think that my personal goal will be met by then.  Maybe 50 pounds IS to much to ask for in 6 1/2 weeks.  What do you think??  Maybe I should be happy with losing the 20 pounds already. ( but deep down I'm not happy with it)  I can't wait.  I know they say that the weight didn't come ON over night so it won't come OFF over night either.  I just need to vent aliitle bit.  That is what this is for.
  Another thing... is it just me or do people actually read my blogging here on OH???  I really don't like to post things on the messageboard because you never know if people are going to down you for having your own opinion.  I know that is why Julie doesn't like to post things.
  I want to put a new picture of me on my main picture, but I can't figure it out.  I'm just a stupid fat person that's all.  I guess I should get up off of my fatass to exercise AGAIN even though I just got done with my 1 mile walk video 1 hour ago.  Sitting here won't loss the fat off of me.
  I should go now.  Until next time when I'm feeling sorry for myself... 

My 1st Post-Op appointment

Sep 25, 2007

  So I had my first post-op doctor appointment today & things look great.  My weight is now at 276.  So that means I'm down 19 pounds since the week before WLS (3 weeks ago).    Tim (DH) had his first consult with Dr. Kemmerling also.  I'm so happy that he is doing this.  Not only for for me & the family...but for him.  He NEEDS it just as much as I do/did.  I think that with both of us having to dur the lifestyle change--> me more so cuz Tim is having that Lap-Band done.  He's kinda being an ass because he says "I can still have chips & chocolate & etc...".  WHATEVER!!!!  I'm NOT buying that crap because I can't have it, so why have it in the haouse.  I want this to be for the entire family.  Not just me.  All 4 of us need to loss the weight.  Better change the way the kids eat now, becaue it will just get harder if we wait to long.
  OK.  Yesterday I felt like a pile of Donkey Poop because I ate refried beans (too thick) & I thought that I was going to die.  It hurt really bad.  I thought that I was gunna puke, but NOPE thank goodness.  I have to be nore careful.  I'm only 3 weeks postop.  You nerver learn until things happen.
  Later!!!

About Me
Sheboygan Falls, WI
Location
34.1
BMI
RNY
Surgery
09/12/2007
Surgery Date
Apr 01, 2005
Member Since

Friends 17

Latest Blog 37
Where did all of the time go?
This SUCKS!!
I can't believe it finally is here!!
Turkey Day
Oops I did it again...
I'm so terrilbe
WooHoo!!!!!!!
Waiting patiently...AGAIN!!!
KINDA TICKED!!!
My 1st Post-Op appointment

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