ksnazz68

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Hi! Since my last post I have been extremely busy, mostly due to work. I've also seen a significant increase in stress. As for the plateau. I've gotten off it. I say Dr. M in Dec 08 and lost 5# in two months. I had a 2nd fill at that time. Dr. M has said he is pleased and satisfied with my performance. He did not recommend a fill but complied with my wishes. The new fill has helped.

Truthfully, I'm struggling with the emotional aspects which hold me captive at times primarily in the form of less exercise, with an occasional poor food choice. The band has made the "eating" part far easier to be aware and in control of amount regardless of the food choice. This awareness was a huge missing piece pre-surgery in my ability to arrest food issues and succeed in losing the pounds. Despite the stumbling block of less exercise for the moment, it is a far easier "block" to overcome than the food consumption.

For anyone considering this option, the MOST important pieces to continue following surgery besides diet/exercise is SUPPORT GROUP and COUNSELING (if needed). These two components are KEY to me not failing.

 

Ok, I've been very busy these past two months. I've slipped in that my exercising has decreased some but I'm getting back on track. I've had only one fill in 6 months. In the last two months I've not lost any weight. However, I've lost 9" overall since the last measurements were taken on 7/4/08. People in my support group have reassured me that hitting a plateau is common and generally seems to happen at the 6 months post op and/or 50-60 pounds lost. I've pretty much hit both those marks.

I see the Dr. on 10/17. I know what I need to do is record my foods more frequently though, other than carbs, I don't feel I've been off track with the food. I KNOW I've been OFF with the EXERCISING. So, I need to get back to that.

I may need a fill so we will see what the Dr. has to say. I'm not done yet and I'm still working on changing behaviors. I know I can do this and WILL SUCCEED at this.

I visited with Dr. M on Friday morning. My practice has been to weigh myself on my scale so as to compare to his scale. Due to the room with his digital scale being in use the nurse used the traditional scale. Our scales read the same. The nurse and then Dr. M both said I had dropped 8# since I last saw him 5 weeks ago which was the time of my first fill.

Whoo, I'm quite pleased. Dr. M is pleased as well as he has been with each visit. He didn't do a fill and did not see a reason for one nor did I. I've been doing well, there is little to no hunger. In light of the positives, Dr. M stated we could go 2 months before my next visit (barring any problems). His specific words were "keep doing exactly what your doing, it going well".

I'm thrilled with my success and I keep reminding myself that this is going well. I still have times when I want this to be instanteous but slow and steady does the trick. Now that things have quieted down some I can get back on track with my exercise program. I've even looking forward to trying some yoga soon.

Between vacation and work life has been busy. What is amazing is how much more active and motivated I am to be active. Having consistently lost weight from week to week since the surgery I can not only feel but see the changes. I look less round, less blubbery, and I can see a shape emerging. I feel more motivated, have more engery and feel happier. I want to do more.

Ok, it's not an easy, straight shooting path. Yes, I've struggled but the consistent success and visable success helps a great deal in providing the mental willpower to keep at it. It helps that counseling, exercise and nutritional counseling continue to be used daily/weekly. The biggest support is the support group. Without them I'm sure I'd feel "lost, misunderstood and lonely". I'd be hard pressed to fight off those people in my life who say "oh, just one more cookie" or "hey, you were more fun when you were bigger" or "whats up with you, you're downsizing".

Steady and slow and consistent is the sound of success.

It seems I'm back on track. The weight is going down again. Ok, it was always going down but I was stalled. It helped to track my food intake using the worksheets from the group. I saw that I was consuming to many carbs in the evening hours. I've cut back on that. I also noticed my calorie intake being above 1500 so, I've tried cutting back on that too. Lastly, I noticed that too many of my total calories were consumed in the evening so I've been trying to put more of the calories in the morning and at lunch time. I've also been exercising more. Losing some significant poundage has given me more engery and more ability to engage in fun things I like. Such as golfing. I hit the driving range with a golf friend Tuesday evening and was pleasantly surprised that I did ok and was not too sore the next day. That was the first time in 6 years I had used the clubs. We even made a date to play 9 holes on the 25th of July. And guess what............my friend said we'll do it with a cart. I replied we should walk it as it would be good exercise. My friend (slim and trim) said ok, yeah but we haven't played in awhile it would be a good thing for our game to use the cart the first time out at least until we are comfortable playing. How about that. Here's me the heafty one, the one who should and does still have difficulty exercising pushing for us to exercise and my friend the slim and trim gal pushing for the lazy way.

Boy did I feel good. I feel good for many reasons all of which I can attribute to the surgery and subsequent weight loss.

Saw Dr. M yesterday for the 2nd time. His scale continues to show a loss and he is pleased with the progress. He said I'm doing very well. He did not appear to feel I needed a fill as my progress satisfies him. However, I did tell him about being hungrier and after a brief discussion he left the decision up to me. So, I got a fill. Dr. M said he gave me 3. It makes a difference. I can feel the difference and I was not as hungry yesterday evening or so far today as I had been the past couple of weeks. 

Despite the stress, the slip ups and difficulties with emotions I have not regained and continue to lose, abliet, slowly. However, I take that as a positive sign cuz in the past (pre-surgery) I would have easily regained every ounce and then some if I had experienced what I've been experiencing this month. I take that to mean I'm doing all the right things and am making significant progress in "arresting" the bad/negative behaviors that led me to this place. Though it's still a work in progress, it is the best progress I've made.

I see Dr. M again in 4 weeks rather than 6 weeks. I'm hoping to improve on my downward slide. My loss has averaged out to be 1 3/4 pounds a week.

Well it's just been a difficult time at work as I said in my last blog. It continues. However, I've finally gotten a grip on what I can control so I'm calmer now. Unfortunately, I've gained 2#. Nope, I'm not going to nor have I been beating myself up about it. 

In addition to this I've recently been feeling hungrier especially at night. I think it's time for a fill. I have not had one yet but I see the Dr. next week on Friday.

Since last Wednesday I've had nothing but STRESS from work. Unfortunately, I have a new (1 yr ago) supervisor who speaks to me in a condensending way, doesn't support me with consumers, doesn't appear to have any confidence in my skills/experience, barely knows how to use the agency's computer system or how to process the paperwork, is comparing me to his other subordinates and has me feeling like he's trying to find fault with my work. Lastly, he barely listens. 

Unfortunately, I can also see things from his view. He's been with the agency about 15 years as a VRC which is the same position I've been in for 11 years. Sadly, I know from experience and from "inhierting" his caseload when he was promoted that he was not a great counselor. But, he's new to supervision having never done it before. He's new to the demands of a supervisor within the agency which I'm sure are different from the counselor's. He also has to deal with the fact that he is no longer a "co-worker buddy" but is now viewed and people relate to him as a supervisor. He can't be your close friend anymore (not that he and I were ever friends to begin with). What I'm saying is I realize he has a difficult transisition to make and needs time to adjust but he's had a year so far with little change. 

What does all this mean to me personally. Heaps of self imposed stress as well as real stress. It has caused me to fall back on old patterns of behavior which was eating. However, I'm more aware of the triggers and have been arresting them before they get going, if you know what I mean. I've made strides in changing my behaviors so I'm proud of that. But, this stress is sure testing me. It also has me actually HATING my job.

Please anyone have some advice, words of wisdom or positive support? I could really use some. I'm alone here with no one but the cats and they listen but can't offer any words of comfort. Help, I don't want to go backwards here.

I reached my first goal of 270# on Saturday, 5/24. Whoo!  It feels so good

I've set my chart for another 30#. I've decided to get a facial, pedi and mani to celebrate this achievement. 

I hope everyone is doing well. I haven't heard from "friends" here in sometime. It seems everyone is doing ok from their profiles. Well, stay in touch. I'm missing you all, thinking of you all and praying for you all.