"Moving" on

Apr 19, 2012

Sometimes I think it is necessary to take a break and truly THINK about what it is that YOU want.  What makes YOU happy, and what YOU want to do with your life.  That is what I have been doing for the last month or so, an I am pleasantly surprised in the changes that I have put into place for myself and my family. 
First on the weight loss home front I have gained 20 pounds!  Hearing that whole TWENTY POUNDS....20 pounds....20# literally sent me straight into a crying fit.  But I realize that the baby is due late June/early July so weight gain is expected.  I can physically tell that I have gained in my thighs...tummy of course, and lower legs.  Surpisingly I think it has been contained to my lower body LOL.  I was afraid that my face was going to gain a lot back.  All my coworkers/friends always make comments about how it seems all 20 pounds are in my tummy.  I can tell that my legs have gained weight or stay somewhat swollen simply by the way it feels when I try to cross my legs or the way my pants fit.  Shirts all still fit the same....with added tummy tightness.  I finally broke down and bought one maternity shirt and a pair of maternity shorts.  I had put off buying a lot of tighter clothes before I found out I was pregnant so luckly I can still wear a lot of the pants that I was wearing before.  They fit now where they were super baggy before.  Such an ironic turn of events.  I went from watching every calorie and cleaning out my closet to buy nothing but tight sexy summer clothes.  To still watching every calorie but in a different manner, to buying maternity clothes, to holding onto those clothes that were all baggy before.  I am so excited about the birth of my 2nd son....Masen and about getting back to weight loss.  I would really like to lose around 40-50 pounds, and surpisingly I am confident that I can at least get close to that goal.  I use to doubt myself so much when it came to weight loss, but I really think that my determination is hight this time.  I was really on a roll when I found out I was pregnant and all that had to be put on hold.  Then when I was 2-3 months along and was still losing weight I got worried and uped my calorie intake....which of couse led to some weight coming back but at this point I don't eat to survive, I eat to nourish my body and provide nourishment for baby.  I am not going to lie....I have cravings like there is no tomorrow.  It is for random stuff though.  I crave fish, or shirmp.  The other night all I wanted was a crab cake LOL, last night it was rotisserie chicken from Boston Market.  I have had those cravings for ice cream, cookies, cake, I have been seriously wanting a cupcake...but haven't given into that one yet.  Yogurt....I crave yogurt all the time LOL.  So it isn't all bad stuff all the time which is a blessing.  Most random craving....besides the one crab cake was saltine crackers with american cheese and honey mustard.  Everyone thought I had lost my mind but if you haven't tried it....it is pretty darn good!
On to other things....I decided that a change was needed.  I am telling you weight loss surgery makes you change your way of thinking on just about everything.  So I haven't been  happy in my current job position for a while now.  The work is not the issue, it never has been.  The high school petty office drama is too much to handle though.  I work in a high stress position where attention to detail is vital.  It is too frustrating to be working on the file of a dead child and have a coworker being difficult all at the same time.  I know that every job has its ups and downs, but there should be more ups than downs.  And the downs shouldn't be all day everyday.  It has just become too much to deal with.  I find myself literally going home, and going straight to bed.  That isn't fair to myself or my son.  When I noticed that my attitude with him was changing for the worse I knew that it was time for a change!  So I am  happy to say that on April 29th I am moving to Jacksonville from Gainesville and I am starting a new job.  I will still be working in the legal field but moving from wrongful death back to personal injury/soft tissue cases.  It will basically be my show....to run and manage on my own which is very exciting.  Moving to a new city is very exciting.  My new apartment is 20 mins from the beach....that is super exciting LOL, there is a gym right down the street, plenty of places to walk, activities for the kids.  So all in all I am excited about the move and about a different job/city, the whole 9 yards.

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