KymmisMommy

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Well, Here I am. 2 years after the big day that changed my life in so  many ways.  I havent been on here in ages due to the fact that after almost 8 years of not working, I finally went back to work in mid December.  It has been a rough road, but I finally made it back...sort of...   I had a few health issues here latley because of my heart defect, but other than that im doing well.  I have lost a total of 125 pounds.  I have been in a stall for the longest time.  I kind of go up 3-5 pounds, then back down, but im pretty much stuck around the 310-316 pound range.   I think it may be due to not going to the gym for awhile.  Im gonna try real hard to get back at it now that my heart issues have stabelized.    I hope all my friends are doing well.  I am going to attempt to keep in touch more and check in on all of you.    HUGS!!!!!  

Well, I haven't been around much on here. Partly because I was kinda embaressed that I have been in a stall for months.  I hit the 100 pounds lost mark and have kinda fluxuated 3 pounds plus or minus for months.  I have just been stuck there.  My gym membership ran out, so I stopped moving as much and with the added foods and lack of movement, I haven't gained, but I'm also not loosing either.  
  The second reason Is that I have been applying for jobs and living my life...and....  For the first time in over 6 years I am going back to work.  I got hired at Comcast Customer Service.  I cant believe it.  Just over a year ago I thought my life was pretty much over. I was trying to get disability and  I had no hope of ever going back to work due to illness and my debilitating weight.   Now I have a new job...and a deacent one at that.....I have gone on vacation to Orlando with my daughter and was able to keep  up with her..    I have been to several concerts (which was my love and I had stopped going to) .    I am just so happy with the way things are going for me.    
  I thought My life was over and I was just sitting around waiting to die....now I have hope for the future.  If I never loose another pound, it wont matter because what I have lost has given me the ability to at least have a chance of a happy life.    
  This surgery was the best decision I ever made ...and the best gift anyone could ever give me!!!   Thanks mom and dad!!!
 

Well, I'm one year out yesterday, and i've lost 100 pounds to date. 
   I have to say that this has been the best decision I have ever made. I have had lots of ups and downs,. lots of learning experiences and lots of tears.  I am now in my 3rd stand still where it comes to weightloss. I kinda go up 3 pounds, then down 3 pounds...up 7 pounds...down 9 pounds.   I have to be honest that some of that is my own faullt...I have slacked off on the gym and the calorie and fat counting, I do keep up with my protein count and take all my vitamins and supliments, and I dont eat large protions, but I really havent been carefull.  I'm sure as soon as I start behaving again I will do fine.  
   I guess my point  is that I feel like I'm a success story.  I can move, walk, sleep, tie my shoes and wipe my tush.  I have cut down on my diabetes meds, lowerd my dose of blood preasure meds.  I have gone to concerts again, I shop and go places I would have never gone last year this time,  I look and feel a billion times better...and I'm looking for a job for the first time in over 8 years.   None of this could have been possible without the surgery....as a matter of fact, I dont know if I'd even still be here.   I was so sick for so long!!   So all in all...I'd say Im happy.  Now if I could just convince someone to hire me so I can be a productive part of society and show off some of my new business atire, I'd be GREAT!! lol Seems no one wants to take a chance on somene who has no RECENT work history.   So for now, I'm on the job hunt, There has to be someplace that wants a seasoned, healthy, experienced and well rested customer service rep........and until I find that place, I'm going to get back to behaving myself and making my sleeve happy.......next year this time I want another hundred gone!!!!
    Maybe some plastics too for these new body 'areas" I have.  ie...my Hi Janes (flabby forearms, they wave and say "Hi jane" before I get the chance), what I call bat wings (excess skin over the back of my bra strap), my sways (skin on my upper thighs that sways as I walk), the elephant skin on my lower legs and ankles, and omg....where the hell are my breasts going????   My empty tummy stuffz that hang low...lower and lower with each pound....and dont forget my turkey gobbler.......gotta love that one...I never knew I was old till I lost 100 pounds....lol.   No I'm not complaining..It is all better than what was going on before the surgery......    Life is a journey...a funny, silly, trying, emotional and ever changing trip!!   And Im really happy im gonna be around a long time to take that trip!!!! <3

Today I had another "WOW Moment"!!  I purchased a used loft bed set on craigs list for my 18 year old son Brian.  He moved back home a couple months ago when he and his girlfriend split up.  Since than he has been sleeping on the living room floor on a blow up mattress. I dont really want my living room looking like a dorm room,but the kid needs to be off the floor alreaday...lol. anywayz.... He was sick today so my older son James and I had to go get the set.  It was in a second floor apartment.   I climbed those stairs ...up and then down with heavy metal bed pieces and parts....not once, not twice, but THREE times..and OMG!!! I'm still alive and not totally exhausted!!!! I cant believe that.  Last year this time I could hardly step up a curb or walk from the car witht out being exhausted and in massive pain...sweating....panting and gasping for air.   I would have died if I had even attempted this.    So, though I still have my moments of doubt..."why did I do this to myself"...when I eat too fast or cant have bread with my deli meat, or when everyone is eating Pizza and I cant cuz of the bread...... It's moments like this that really seal the deal for me.  That make me realize that no matter how many things I go with out....and no matter how abnormal I feel at times because i'm alterd and diffrent, THIS IS SOOOOOOO WORT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I've only lost about 86 pounds to date...I cant wait to see what I feel like  when I reach my goal!!!

Finally...another wow moment to keep me motivated!! I have had a pair of Jeans in my closet for over 4 years now.  I loved them the day I bought them.  Got them on clearance sale and they couldnt be returned.   Got them home and was so sad cuz they didn't fit.  I could get them over my hips, but not my belly.  It was a terrible feeling.  I thought..ok...I'll lose a few pounds and they will fit..so I put 'em in the closet.  After that my weight slowly crept up and up...and those damn jeans were in the closet.  I couldn't give them to Good Will, cuz I swore I would fit 'em one day.   (thought it seemed that day would never come) Year after year..they hung in that closet.....and year after year I gained and gained.   I thought ok...Maybe my daughter will wear em...   she hated them.   so no luck there.   Well...Today I put on those Wonderfull jeans..and guess what??? not only  do they fit...but they fit loosely!!!  They wont fit for long...so im gonna wear em every chance I get....lol!!!   For all the hell that we go through with these surgerys...it sure is nice to have the moments like this!!!   
    Now as for the scale..it doesnt seem to be moving. I lose a pound or two and gain a pound or two.  But nothing major....but my body seems to be changing even if the numbers on the scale are not.  My son says its cuz fat takes up more room than muscle...so even though the scale isnt moving, im more fit and thats why they pants fit.....who cares at this point....as long as my body is changing and my health is improving....(and I fit those damn wonderfull 4 year old out of style jeans) I'm HAPPY!!! Exstatic really!!! 

Well, I am just a few days  over 5 months out and I have lost 83 pounds.  I Was feeling really great and thinking that I was doing very well, untill today that is.    My mom said something to me that was like a punch in the stomach!!!   I was telling her about running into someone that hasn't seen me since a few weeks before the surgery.  This girl was amazed at how much weight I had lost and was telling me how great I look and how much healthier I seemed to be.    I felt so great!!! ... then my mom says to me..."I'm sorry Donna, but I just dont see it".   Then starts quoting stuff from the show "the biggest looser" about exercise and stuff.        I almost fell over.    I cant believe how much that one little line of words has effected me!! I have been depressed all day!!!!    Especially because my mom has always been the one to pat me on the back and give posotive affirmations.     It hurt me so badly!!!  
   This isn't the first time though,  Recently she has been criticizing me for every thing I eat.    Example.....we went out to dinner about as month ago *(my first trip to a resteraunt since surgery) my cousin was visiting from out of town and wanted bar-b-q.  His treat...so we all went .   I orderd a sliced pork sandwich.  No sauce. I ate two thin slices of the pork, two baby sized bites of baked beans and a bite of my daughters onion ring.   I washed it down with about 3 sips of diet coke.      After leaving, my mom commentd..."You ate alot!!!! more than you really should have......you better be carefull or you'll stretch your stomach and gain all the weight back"!!!    I was shocked!! My daughter was as well...she wanted to say something to her grandmother about it, but I asked her not to.  I was in tears the entire drive home.    I feel like I have done well,   I seem to be keeping up with others that had the same surgery around the same time as me.    It's like my mom thinks I should still be eating the way I did two weeks out........or that I am gonna be 120 pounds smaller in 6 months time.   I really dont know how to approach her with this subject...but I know I have to.     I have felt so bad all day because of this.......  Im just not sure how to handle what I am feeling..or how to let her know how detrimental what she is doing and saying is to my weight loss.    Any one else have this happen? and if so, how did you deal with it?

Well,  yesterday was 7 weeks out for me.  I am so amazed at the changes in how I feel already.  I have lost a total of 45 pounds.  I fluxuate up and down as much as 4-5 pounds...but basically have hit a plateau at the 45 pounds mark.    My daughter and I are starting at the hospitals rehab-gym this week, so I'm hoping that will get the weight loss ball rolling again so to speak.  
   I have cut down my blood preasure meds by half and I have totally stopped one of my diabetes meds.  I also have not had an episode of A-Fib in over 4 weeks.   I no longer have trouble sleeping; no waking up in the middle of the night to run to the bathroom or re-situate in bed to take the preasure off my knees.   I am walking in stores withouth breaking a sweat ( I used to sweat so badly that the cashieers would ask if I was ok or needed assistance...I looked like a drowned rat and my face was so red they thought I was gonna pass out.)    Hygine issues  that I had before the surgery are no longer an issue, and I fee so much better in so many ways, both physically and emotionally.    
  I'm not gonna say that everything is great...I still have some issues with taking one or two bites too much at some meals and paying the painful price after wards, and I still miss some of the things I used to be able to do such as drink large amounts qickly, have potatoes, rice and pasta with my meals, fast food...yes..i admittedly miss my McDonalds and KFC, but....it's all worth it for the health benifits and how much better I feel.  
   I can honestly say that I would do the surgery again.......I only wish I could have done it years sooner and avoided all the illness and misery that I went through for the past 6 years, but then again...I guess you appreciate the benifits more when you've been through the hell I went through to get to this point.  
  Also on a plus note,  I have this pair of jeans that I bought on a buy one get one free sale about 2 years ago.....they NEVER fit...I think I put them on like 3 times...poured myself into them...wore them for an hour or so each time and was so uncomfy that I had to retire them to the back of the closet....they are 3 sizes smaller than what I was wearing the week of my surgery........they fit now....comfy....and as a matter of fact...my most recently posted pics show me wearing them!!!!   I'm so excited about that....I cant wait to get small enough to shop for new clothes!!!   Now if I could just get my kids to stop calling me flubber cuz of the loose skin on my arms....lol...    It's kind of a nice thing though......the flubber is the proof that my sleeve is really working!!!  So I say....bring it on....i'll worry about the plastic surgery later!!!!!       

Well, Tuesday was the day of my 1 week follow-up.  The bulk of the apointment was ued to check my legs out because of the SEVERE pain I was having.   Bad news was it was most likely DVT... good news??? I had lost 35 pounds since a week before my surgery...so since I started the full liquid till 1 week after surgery, I lost 35 pounds!!! That's amazing  in 14 days!!!    Only problem is I also was low in potassium and magnisum becasue since I was in so much pain and had such reflux, I could hardly tolerate anything besides water and apple sauce for 7 of those 14 days.      
  Anyway...next drama,  I had the ultra sound....left leg is fine....right leg has clots.   So after about 6 hours of sitting in the ER waiting for a room to be available, and going into total A-Fib (heart rate blasted from 64 bpm to 154 bpm) I was finally in my room.  Not too bad the first night...but the pain was almost unbearble, I had actually used a cane to go to my post op cuz i really couldnt put weight on the leg.  Second day ...my  nice quiet room mate left to go home..and was replaced with a Jamican woman who was severly mentally handicapped.  Her family all rallied around her..and it was nice to see...but unforunatl very very very LOUD!!!   I got no sleep the night before due to the pain and constant blood preasure checks.    SO need less to say my patience was wearing thin....  not the girls fault... but omg   I thought I was gonna pull my heair out.     SO I wound up being in till today ...with my Jamican friends....(things did calm down eventually with them),  sent home on more blood thinners...and will possible be going in for outpatient placement of a stint (or screen) to keep the clots from dislodging and traveling.     Scarey thought!!  But so far I'm feeling a bit better.    Doc says the pain will be there for several more days till the blood thinners work more and the clots are re-absorbed.     Sent me home with some percocette.  (makes me loopy and sleepy as hell) andf said to stay on bed rest till I dont feel pain anymore.      Sighhhhhh.....I know next year this time I will be jumping for Joy......at this moment I'm still kinda in the slef loathing stage of "I did this to myself....this is what I wanted....I begged for this .......blah blah blah....." but im sure this too shall pass!! 

Well, today was my one week mark..and sadly I feel like total poo!!  I'm having alot of issues...some normal..some not so normal.   Tomorrow I go for my one week follow-up.  AND I have to have an ultrasound on my legs cuz I'm having sever dabilitating pain in both my left and right leg and my right foot.   It is excruciating!!    I cant sleep, can hardly walk... I'm just miserable. 
   It started mildly in my right calf the day of surgery when i started walking...got progressivly worse each day.   I dont think its a clot, more likely nutrient deffiency, ( I stopped taking my suppliments a week before surgery and I take a high doesage of betapace for my A-Fib which depleats potasium) but omg the pain is unbareable.  
     I really dont do well with pain meds, so I'm only using tylenol and thermacare heat wraps.  This eases it a tiny bit, but not nearly enough to sleep and function.  
    I'm Gonna try the new stuff ive been reading about...Neuragen PN.  I had to order it from target.  Cant find it anywhere in town, and the fastest way to get it was target pharmacy ordering it...will be here tomorrow.    
     Other than that..I guess I have the same issues every one seems to the first week.....neseua, sensativity to smell, terrible, almost constant heart burn, the bathroom drama...and trying to get enough fluids while feeling so full.  Everything tastes horrible to me right now.   I'm sure this will all pass.....  and I know it will all be worth it in the end...its just getting to that point withouth losing my mind....lol.    

Well, It's 4:44am on August 5th and I'm home from the Hospital in one piece.     I feel pretty good considering I have 5 incisions and a drain hole in my body.    My daughter has been a life saver, staying at the hospital with me and careing for me far better than any paid nurse could.   Dont get my wrong, the nurses were great, but this kid didnt leave my side since the surgery, both at the hospital and at home.     I couldnt ask for better Or more loving care!! 
  Now.. I got things moving pretty quickly once the surgery was over. Starting with 30cc's of room temp water an hour untill the upper GI showed that I was leak free and ready for a clear liquid tray.   Funny thing is, to have the GI, they gave me the leak test with Iced down contrast dye in a cup with a straw...telling me to take LARGE GULPS of the stuff and swallow quickly!! WTF????  I mean , Doc is telling me supper small sips of room temp water only...no straw, and slow slow sips.....I could hardly get the shit down with out throwing it back up/  I managed...I just thought it was kinda strange......
    I guess my biggest question is....now that im past the little green sponge that I had to suck on for the first bit of time..and I'm past the room temp water in a little medacine cup prer hour, and I'm finally on the clear liquid diet....How the hell long is this gurgling pipe thing gonna go on????  I've heard others mention it...and now I have it full force.    I take a tiny sip of water, tea, broth, what ever.....and its goes down a little......sip--seallow--gurggle---gurggle again-- girgle a 3rd time-- pain in the shoulder and chest where he had to fix a hital hernia I didnt know I had---  then 16-20 hic-cups.     Not excruciating, not unbareable....but deffinatly annoying!!!!   i'm just wondeing if it stops or slows afer a bit of time..or maybe if there is a trick to minimizing this phanomina......lol
    Anywayz.....I just finished going potty....and taking some pain meds...and i'm going back to bed.  I'm finally home and getting some uninterupted sleep...so i'm gonna take advantage.     I'll write more later and tell the tale of the transport kid that hates fat ladies and shows it!!!!   What a tale!!!                Thanks for all the support and to those who checked in on me!!!     Donna