Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya Tomorrow......
Jan 10, 2010
Tomorrow is MY day! Well mine and my new life long friend Donna. We're both scheduled for our switches tomorrow. I can't remember when the last time I was this excited!! I have an incredible calmness about me and I'm not the slightest bit nervous....not one little iota!! I know I am one hell of a strong person. I've also been focusing on everything positive, my husband, my children & family and all the love we have for each other. I keep seeing myself on the beach, toes in the sand, waves crashing. That's such a peaceful, powerful feeling for me. I love to listen to waves crashing on the shore while the sun beats down on me. Only the difference this time, is that I'm picturing myself LIGHTER! I see myself back in a bikini which I haven't been able to wear in a few years. But more than the beach visions, I'm seeing visions of roaming the hospital halls and feeling quite UP....dancing the halls even! Nothing but positivity has been radiating from me and that can only mean good things while "under" and recovering. Life is good and will continue to get better. I feel so damn blessed every single day and now I've got one more thing I'll be able to add to my collection of blessings. I know I'll be in fantastic hands and I have an amazing support line. What more could I possibly ask for? As Maddie said to me... "Ready, Set, GO!!!!" Stay tuned!!!!
Hurry up already!!
Jan 04, 2010
Okay so I just got home from my dance class and decided to do a quick blog entry.
I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THIS SURGERY TO BE HERE ALREADY!!!
I was watching myself in the mirror (nothing out of the ordinary) for the hour in there and thinking "my goodness I look like CRAP !!!" All the same though, I do have to give myself kudos for being in there. It's a hip hop class and all the others in there are normal sized....except for this one chick who is SUPER nice but teeny tiny as all get out.....makes me feel like the elephant in the corner sticking out like a sore thumb. I've been taking that class for 2 years now and have fun in there. And I doubt anyone judges me, that is anyone EXCEPT ME! Alright, that's all I wanted to say. It's just been such a frustrating 2 1/2 years fighting the beastly scale. Alright so now I'm gonna go snow boarding on our Wii with the balance board.....getting in an extra little workout for the night. Geez...I'm gonna be wired tonight! LOL
HURRY UP ALREADY January 11th!!!!!
Jan 04, 2010
I'm totally at a loss!! I've been racking my brains trying to figure out what kind of goal weight I should set. I haven't a flippin clue and it's so frustrating, but at the same time exciting. After my RNY I was able to get down to about 165 (give or take a pound or 2 but no more) and a size 10. I often had people telling me how fabulous I looked and one guy even told me to STOP losing weight cause I was looking anorexic. I think he was just trying to sweet talk me though...HA....even though he did say it somewhat regularly. I was quite fit too. Overall I was thrilled because I did look small and I felt terrific and sexy (most days...some days my "fat" mind would play tricks on me). But even though I felt that way I always thought "MAN, I wish that number would go down more!" I'm a scale whore I guess you could say. And most people would say that's bad, but it's how I hold myself accountable for anything and everything! Anyways, so now that I'm about to get my revision to DS, I've come to the reality that I could very well drop below my lowest weight after the RNY....it just does NOT SEEM realistic. I work out all the time, pilates and dance classes and I want to start running again. I see plenty of other DSers who are in the 140s, 130s and even 120s and all I can think is "can that really happen to me?" Man oh man!! I haven't seen numbers like that since HIGH SCHOOL!!! I am 5'4 and my "ideal" weight for my age is 130-140 (according to some calculators I found). Before I had a goal of 150, which I NEVER reached, so my thought is to set multiple goals....but I would like to have 1 ultimate goal to strive for, I just don't want to set an unrealistic goal. Hrmmmmm what to do what to do??
Surgery Date Approaching
Jan 03, 2010
That being said, I don't really have too many nerves about it right now. Is that weird?? I hate the idea of being up there alone while in the hospital, but I'm not really nervous. I hate the thought of something possibly happening to me and not being able to be there for my girls and my husband, but I don't feel nervous. I have NO doubt though, that it'll most certainly hit me as soon as it's my turn to go back and change. In fact I'll probably turn into the biggest baby.....OUT OF NO WHERE!! Okay, well maybe not that bad. Well maybe yeah. I'm not going to want to say goodbye to my hubby who only can be there for the surgery and then has to return home to go back to work. UGH! He'll be back up that Friday though and was able to get the time off to stay in the hotel with me. That, I'm thinking, is the most important time.
So Monday's the day. Friday I'll drive up for all my pre-admin stuff and then drive the 3 1/2 hrs back down to spend the weekend with the family. Then Sunday the hubby and I will drive back up together for the big day Monday. YAY! I've been preparing myself mentally for the worst scenarios as far as complications and am trying to make sure I'm as strong as possible in order to help me progress faster after surgery. I feel I'm pretty strong and have great motivation. I'm hoping I'll be able to burn through the healing process. I guess we will soon see!
Meal Replacements & Vitamins
Dec 11, 2009
Dec 05, 2009