Thinking, thinking, tired of thinking!

Jan 26, 2013

I didn't want to be depressing, but this is part of my new life and directly involves the success of my journey and my self preservation. I really just wanted to get this down and read it over to see how awful it sounds!

It is the weekend and I have basicly done nothing but lay in bed and watch movies. I feel kind of lost right now and sad. Sad and lonely. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years a few weeks ago. We care immensely about each other but it wasn't working for a long time. We both just set our issues aside and nothing ever got resolved. We are not at the right crossroads to be with each other right now and I know I can't go back with him at this point because nothing will change. We still talk and I miss him so much. I miss the fact that I always had someone to talk to, to text for no reason, to sit around and watch movies with, to go do random things. We used to do those type of things, but not in the last few months. The problem is that we were good at going out to eat and having drinks. We were great at ordering in food and sitting around watching tv. However much I am going to miss that stuff, I can't do it anymore, physically and mentally. This weekend I am still out of work due to medical leave and I would call my friends but they all want to go out to the bar or sit and drink at their houses. It's just not want I need to do right now.  All of my friends have their own shit going on and now I'm single and missing the one person that I have been used to for two years.

Is it going to get better like everyone is telling me? People say I will be thin and more confident and meet new people... When does that crap happen and where?

Is this the hormones? Uggh this sucks... I can't move forward just yet and I can't go back to the life I use to have before him...I'm in limbo! I am sooooo not this person!

On a good note I am doing well on the soft diet so far. I am down 35lbs since the beginning of the pre-op diet.

0 Comments

×