Lady_bugg

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One year ago today I attended the weight loss seminar that started this journey. And one month ago today I had RNY. I feel great. Off all diabetes and high blood pressure meds. Looking great. Fitting into clothes that I never could wear before. So happy that I made this decision.

Leaving for the hospital in 3 hours.  Surgery is in 5.  Feeling pretty relaxed this morning which surprises me, because I was a bit of a wreck last night.  Lots of anxiety, broke into tears a few times, difficulty sleeping.  My biggest fear is about the pain and the healing from surgery.  I know what to expect with the rest of it, the lifestyle changes, etc. 

My children were also feeling the anxiety last night.  Texting with the 18 yr old at 3am. The 9yr old acting out last night before bed.  Everyone will be happier when this day is over and surgery is successful. 

It has been a long time coming for this day.  Dealing with the weight struggles for so many years.  The diabetes diagnosis that came too late to save my little unborn child. Difficulty with maintain good blood sugar levels, the medicines, injections, and testing.  I am grateful for all that I have experienced that led me to this decision.  Everything that has happened has shaped the person that I am.  But, today is the day that I take complete control of my health.  From this day forward, I choose health.  I choose dedication.  I choose determination.  I choose patience.  I choose self-control.  I choose self-confidence.  I choose life. 

It is Sunday morning, and I've been struggling to sleep.  I am finding myself waking up very early and just laying in bed unable to go back to sleep.  I guess it is a bit of anxiety as I think about these last few days before surgery. 

I had big plans this weekend to get the house in order, my room cleaned, all laundry caught up, etc.  I've gotten some of those things done, but still much to do. And, my grandson, Jaq who is just a week old is coming home from the hospital today.  They are coming home here to our house to get some help for the first few days or so.  So, things are hectic!