No Band.... No Sleeve....
Jul 31, 2008
Well.. thats right... no band... no sleeve.... I woke up from surgery.. and I was told that there was a lot of scarring from the band and other abdominal surgeries that proceeding with the sleeve was impossible at this time. Although Dr A left a door of hope open.. I am just too shaken up at this point to even consider rescheduling.. I am gonna try to lose with a chang eo f not only diet but ATTITUDE.. See today I realize that it is my attitude tht defeats me .. often before I even get started... and IT is my attitude that will push me to success.. SO GOOD BYE old IDEAS and HELO new ATTITUDE... on the plane ride home I read a story about a woman who was on some realty show that was looking for the next great country singer, and she had lost 70 pound.. AND GET THIS.. She had a removed lapband that she could never get adjusted......SOOOOO.. I am gonna do some stuff that I never did before, and try foods i never thought i would.. and I AM GONNA lose the weight.. I used to be 312.. i am now 250.. that is 62 pounds.. I did it some how and i can do it again!! Not another 60 or 70 pounds but my goal is 40.. 40 pounds .. down to 210 or 215... I love my sleeve friends....I wish them luck and know that i am always lurking and checking .... Good luck and good bye.... Tina
It's really happening.....
Jul 27, 2008
....in about 30 minutes Rosie is coming back to the hotel where she dropped me and Wendy last night, and she is gonna take us to the hospital to be sleeved. I slept very well last night, me and my husband watched a couple of movies until we were tired... I called my family this morning. I purposefully only text them last night, cuz I didnt want to give them alot of time to "voice their opinion" at this stage of the game. I dont need that. I feel really good about going forward with this, I have lost so much in a week on the liquid diet, my mind chirps in every now and then and tells me i can keep my money and stay on liquids the rest of my life...LOL!! THen reality will kick in.. usually through a commercial about food and reminds me that I cannot control my portions all the time, and that is what I need help with. I have been lurking the boards, and I have been very uplifted by the amount of support thats coming off the VSG forum. These are people I just met about a month ago, and they are already so dear to me..... Most of them had their surgery and are sticking around to help pre ops and newbies like myself. I promise to give back as well... and Charlotte, my angel is just amazing. She had not even had her surgery, and is looking out for mor on the boards.. she is excited for me, like it is her own surgery or something..LOL I love that about her.... Anyway, Continue to pray for me and today lord I ask for your presence in the operating room with me and with Wendy, that you use DR A's blessed hands and god given talent to lead me and this young lady to a better life, one in which we are capable physically to take on the challenges of life, and to do your work. I pray that we wake up lord from the anesthesia, and that we have a smooth recovery. Oh and lord... please let their IV SPECIALIST be on duty today, so as not to have any complications with needles. I know I ask a lot today lord, this is so unlike me to think of myself .. but today I NEED YOU....
Last Night..............
Jul 25, 2008
.we had a special celebration. There was a lot of people there all in honor of me and my accomplishement. I do this every year, and every year I get more and more grateful for the path GOD has chosen for me.. because it really could have ended up the other way... At this celebration there were speakers, and food and alot of family and friends. There was alot of foof.. BANANA PUDDIN, FRIED WINGETTES, SALMON AND SPINACH AND RICE, BAKED BEANS, MAC AND CHEESE, SEAFOOD SALAD, YADA YADA YADA...and being on liquids and being the celebrant I thought it was gonna be hard to resist.... everyone kept saying.. "did you get your plate yet" HAHAHA.. little did they know that my plate was that lipton diet greet tea i was sipping on during the whole night!! But I did not eat anything, and I am so glad that I was able to exhibit the control that I did I AM NOT POWERLESS OVER FOOD!! I was feeling really good about everything, until one young lady who i had not seen since my wedding (30 pounds ago) came up to me and the first thing she said was " I see you done put some of the weight back on" I responded by saying.. "I can get rid of the weight, I have done it before, You still aint got rid of that UGLY"... GEEESH So now I am sitting there in the midst of this beautiful celebrations wondering HOW many people WANTED to say something about the weight but didint, Now I am sitting there wanting to cover up even though I was looking BEAUTIFUL!! Now I wanted to run and hide because I know I hurt her feelings. But I am sorry, people who dont struggle dont understand the struggle... I KNOW I gained some of the weight back... DAMN!! So needless to say, I am ever more grateful that I became proactive with this problem, and looked into this surgery...... I am 'bout to get packed... I am 'bout ot spend the day with my youngest daughter, probably shopping, cuz that is what teenagers like to do... and we have a 7am flight to SAN ANTONIO.... Char_of_Md is my surgery angel... if anyone needs any information .. but I am scheduled for monday morning.... and I am hopeful
WELL..............
Jul 24, 2008
.... I got the cashiers check, i have my clothes together, i have paid all my bills, i have done payroll for next week, i have gone to the grocery store, i have been on liquids since monday... (I am on day 5 and this morining i was down 8 pounds.....).. I am pretty excited today... I do have one fear... that is the fear that I will wake up and for some reason wont be sleeved. I have had this band for 2 years and although i have not had any signs of a problem, I always seem to think that i am the exception to the rule or something....I guess cuz I struggled with this for so long, that i cant believe that it is about to come to an end. especially with the dissapointment i got from the lapband... that just added to the thought that NOTHING was ever gonna work.... until this point Iconvinced myself that I am supposed to be fat!! Somedbody has too!! Thank GOD I never convinced myself that I have to be unhappy!! Thank GOD I never convinced myself I have to settle for less!! OR I would never have sought out this surgery! I have alot to live for today, and I deserve to live happy... I learned alot from my father............
5 days..........................
Jul 23, 2008
to go!!! WOW!! I don't know what I am feeling!! There is so much other stuff going on, that it has distracted me to the point, that I am NOT obsessing over the surgery! This is a good thing.. It probably won't hit me until I am on the plane, and all of the rest of my life is back her in Maryland, and i am up in the air (first class of course) .. then and only then will I be like.. "OH SHIT"" Seriously though, this feeling is similar to that feeling I got when me and my husband picked our house OR agreed to get married OR when I put my daughter in TAE KWON DO or When I started my busines OR When I started to expand my business... you get the point... The feeling is similar to all the good things that I stepped out on faith with and chose to do AND in the end these things were the BEST decisions I have made for myself. My daugher is slim and healthy as a result of the martial arts, my house is beautiful and accomodating to all that live here, my business is still growing, and I am married to a WONDERFUL GOD GIVEN man who adores me... (he aint bad to look at either!!!) So I am not second guessing myself, I never do... and I am not gonna start now!!!
I am ..........
Jul 23, 2008
......the type of person that has had no grey areas when it has come to friends.. I dotn have room for discerning other peoples motives etc... I am the type of person thton first impression you completley LOVE me or you CANT STAND my GUTS!! Same holds true with this blog........read it and someting may keep you interested enough to contact me .. probably because we got something in common.. or read and go on, frown, talk shit, grit, what eva!! And that is okay too.... Today I embrace what is mine, and what aint ima leave alone......
I am amazed.........
Jul 23, 2008
...at How dependant on food I am NOT!!! I am on day 3 of liquids and the cravings and hunger pains are gone.... for right now anyway... I am having coffee with splenda in the morning, with a bowl of cream of "something" (anything!!) soup...I am mixing my soups with skim milk instead of water and it is good.. It is and I have lost 4 pounds in 2 days... I dont know when the last time I did that!! Even when I was in the gym 2 hours a day, running miles and weighing everything I ate.. I never accomplished those results... If this is what sleeve life is gonna be like.. i am SOOO ready ... For the first time EVER I feel in control of my weight..... " God thank you for the blessing of this tool that you have made available to me I know it was only you that has made this a possibility for me and I thank you a thousand times, I thank you for stripping me of all my great ideas of how to do this by myself and making me realize that i needed help. Thank you for the posture of humility that is only recognized by my continuous need to call on you. Thank you for this blog.. that someone may happen to be answering your call and find you through this website...AMEN"
I really........
Jul 22, 2008
.... Understand the therapeutic value of blogs... I used to think they were silly, but it don't even matter if no one else reads it... as long as i am able to express myself, thats all that matters..... Maybe. someday someone will happen to come across this page. and find something they can use... Maybe someday some one will come across this page and say... "why dat grown as woman got all that pepeo bismo pink shit on her page.... LOL" And I will tell them.. it was the mood I am in... not feeling sick like the pepto or nothin..just like a princess .. all blinged out and pretty........ Thats just today... ITs amazing how hope can make one float and how desperation can make some people sink......
I have met....................
Jul 22, 2008
....Some really nice people here at OH. I have gotten a lot of good information and even some bad information. I have laughed, cried, screamed, anticipated, gagged, and even been dissapointed and ashamed at some of the stuff I have seen and heard on here. I love the way there is a perfect balance of people and experience here, just as it is in real life... OH keeps it real!! I had an unfortunate experience with one young lady whom i tried to help... i actually sent money to her surgeon on her behalf( a 4 digit donation.. no small potatoes) and in the end that was still not good enough..... and i say it wasnt good enough because in the end when it all did not come together for her... she ran like the wind. Took off !! This is after she said she was "my sister" and "my friend" WELL sweetie a sister and a friend would have stuck around and stayed in touch to make sure things went okay with me. In real life, i measure my blessing by the amount of blessings that I witness in other people.......Those are the ones that give me joy!! But in the end, people always show their true colors and her color was BLACK !! I thank god that i did not give that girl the whole money for her surgery, I thank god that i am able to take the money i sent to the dr and use it toward my surgery. I thank god for his divine intervention as one more time he knew what was best for me.... because just as easy as this girl got into my life and almost into my pockets............SHE WAS GONE... DEACTIVATED MEMBER!! and she could have just as fast gotten away with my money had i gave it to her........... OH WELL.... SHOPPING SPREE FOR ME once this weight comes off!! But I wont let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch!! I still am reaping the benefits of the vast experience of the OH members and it is her lost and not mine because i embraced her in her time of need and GOD know my heart... I am all the much richer!!
Amazingly.........
Jul 21, 2008
.........I am not hungry this morning. I have had SF popsicles, Fat free soup, and Atkins advantage drinks. I went to bed last night drained and stomack growling!! Is it possible to lose 3 pounds after one day of liquids....??? Thats what the scale said this morning.. 3x!! It kind of feels good not to be a slave to the food like i used to be.. Is this what sleeve life is gonna be like?? Today I thank the creator for his awareness and the ability to discern his will from mine. The strength to continue on this path of mental, physical and spiritual elevation as I cant miss whats not good for me... That includes people......
About Me
Jun 26, 2008
Member Since
Latest Blog 14
No Band.... No Sleeve....
It's really happening.....
Last Night..............
WELL..............
5 days..........................
I am ..........
I am amazed.........
I really........
I have met....................
Amazingly.........
