Motivation Dump!

Feb 13, 2012

I was recently doing some reading on motivation because I realize that I am so close to my plastic surgery goal but will not be able to afford the plastic surgery possible for years! I'm finding is easier to eat wrong and walk less because of the "I cant do this for years, if ever, so why keep as much track" mentality I am starting to get. I know logically that I cant get to 150 with 40 pounds of skin without actually becoming underweight. Ive become so scared of becoming underweight that not losing anymore is starting to be OK with me. Ive met so many goals I have set that it is getting hard to set more. My last two are under 200 and plastic surgery. So what am I going to do when I'm 199 and the only other goal I may never be able to afford to do? I was at first excited when I was cleared to train with the c25k program last month, then the same thing happened, I cant go so why bother. I know there are other 5ks I can run but they don't interest me, only the Zombie Run does.  

I have actually started to think about planning our own, albeit small, local zombie run to give myself a reason to do it again. I have started applying to every grant program I can find that pays for plastic surgery after WLS. But I know that there are 1000s applying also and I have never had gambling luck. I guess what it comes down too is I have no clue what to do next. I know I am waiting to get the this winters heat caused financial stress crap over with and then I am going to look at the gym thing.   

I will read more and find something I hope to refocus my goals. I do have a few other goals but all of them are things like trips, sports I could never do before, paintball etc. All of them cost money and with 500.00 heating bills in the winter they are not good motivators. I need help with focus and I don't know where to even start looking.

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