pensacola is just 2 weeks away

Mar 18, 2010

Ok, so its official, my son and I are moving back up to pensacola during spring break. We all very excited and really nervous at the same time. Every day I feel a bit stronger and then I turn on the tv and something stupid saps my strength. Things like the tv series Bones. On an episode they were talking about a fetish group called "eaters and feeders." As you can imagine just from the name, it didn't paint anyone overweight in a positive light. Very disheartening. I mean I understand, and moreover realize, that the majority still judge and yes, judge anyone over weight as a disgustingly filthy overeater. That we have no self respect, self control. Hate ourselves, don't have friends, aren't ever well adjusted, functioning or sucessfull ppl (of course this only scratches the surface of what ppl think) and its all because we're fat. Ugh!
I hate the stereotypes, the ignorance, the cruelty of it. It can be so, well, disheartening especially on days like today where I've already slipped up on my diet and didnt exercise and feel under the weather as it is. So what do I do? Give myself leeway for having a bad day and being human or do I degrade and tear myself apart? You figure it out.
On a more positive note though, I have learned alot of things about myself andthe way I feel. Its a program about overcoming anxiety and depression CD/DVD by lucinda bassett of the Midwest Center. Anyway, google it and for those that need it, its a life saver! And those of you who know someone who does, please pass it on.
Alrighty then. After blabbering on, I actually feel a little better.
Oh yeah, I forgot. I havent gotten anywhere and dont think I will with DVR. The incompetence is obscene!!! So I got transfered to another counsler and well, after finding out the way this is all "worded" I dont think I have a prayer.
Disability was denied as was any and all government assistance for my son and I. But its pushed us in a new direction. Almost like God shuting one door and opening another.
I don't know but I do know its a daily fight to even get out of bed. To even stay positive and face another day.
How do all of you make it thru?

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