Starting my road....

Dec 07, 2009

I have been sitting here looking at this page not knowing what to write or where to even start...My friend sitting next to me said just start from the begining but honestly I dont know where it started...I have always been overweight and never thought I would really be anything but that...
As I grew up I had a certain amount of self esteem and didnt care what others had to say about me things changed though I married and thought I met the man of my dreams and at that time I was my heaviest weight 380 lbs but my then husband said he loved me no matter what...We started to try having a child and I found out I had PCOS...He then had to leave to go to Iraq and well that is a huge story in itself...When he came back from Iraq things got bad between us and he become a completely different person and I became a completely different person...I started losing weight but the wrong way I wouldnt eat and if I tried I threw up...I moved back to the states and eventually ended up in Ky where I continued to lose weight and lost 80 lbs but when I came back to Pa I had a car accident which left me un able to do pretty much anything...Which brings me to the health problems...
When I had my car accident I found out I had chiari malformation w/syrinx and this has made it hard for me to do anything...So the weight just started packing on...I am now someplace over 350 lbs and have many health issues that my weight make worse...
I have started this process before and got so far and chickened out but I have come to realize this is something I need and want to do for me and for my future...I want to be healthy I want to live a healthy life...I dont want to hide behind huge clothes and be ashamed to go someplace or worry that my nieces and nephews are ashamed to be seen with me... 
Well I guess that is pretty much my story...I am on my journey and there is no turning back this time...I want this more then anything else in this world right now....

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