Loquacious Laura (Laura Crowe)

My story...

Apr 18, 2011

I can tell you about my story, I had sleep apnea, high blood pressure, depression, and was prediabetic and was afraid of what my quality of life would be in 5 years and my children's quality of life would be too.   I have 2 daughters I was a good mom before loosing the weight but felt like i couldn't wait for them to be able to do it their selfs,  get a drink feed them selfs ....everything. I took very good care of my kids It wasn't that i dont love my kids either, it was just very hard and took more effort than I had being morbidly obese at 355lbs more effort than someone that's just overweight.   So really I was missing out on their lives.  
I want to talk about the medical side of it too from a patient's perspective.  I had a newer bariatric surgery that rarely makes the news it's only been done for 7 years so still considered investigational,  and will until there is 10 years of research.  When you think of bariatric surgery or weight loss surgery and you think of the RNY or gastric bypass like what my sister had in PA by Dr Monk in 2007 or the lapband but I had the VSG or Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy performed by Dr Christopher You at Franklin Square Hospital Center here in Baltimore. He staples your stomach in the shape of a tube or sleeve and disposes the rest of the stomach.  Dr You also required patients attend an educational program for 3 or 6 months prior to surgery.  He's passionate about making sure his patients are educated about all of the suegery options so his patients can make a educated decision on what they really want and also information on your life changes physicaly and psych.  You don't just get surgery and that's it,  the Bariatric Institute at Franklin Square follows you forever following weight loss surgery.  If you need more or less support they are always there and passionate and will help you directly or will give you the resources, so you don't gain the weight back over time like we tend to hear about. 
Patient perspective: People also assume that having surgeries like this you will have a large scar but my sister and I had our surgeries done laparoscopicly meaning we have only a few tiny scars some smaller than a pencil eraser.  Some are afraid of loose or hanging skin and can not afford plastic surgery this is actually mine and my sister's case so we have become very creative in clothes shopping. You also have to when you are changing sizes so often.   I wear body shapers every day they are like very high waisted hose and are available in panty style or shorts style and to hide my arms a shrug if i want to wear something sleeveless.  I am very fashionable and people who don't know me or that I was obese compliment me on my clothes all the time, they cant tell i was obese, they can't tell i have loose or sagging skin following massive weight loss.  Unless you tell them they would never notice it.  Would we like to have the reconstructive surgeries? sure but were financially not in any position to do so and even if we were we both would like to have more children so not for several years anyway.  Fact is we are happy, medical conditions that we had related to obesity are gone or what we call in remission.  Our famalies are happy.  Things that we always dreamed of doing, we are doing now.  I got to ride a horse at hawks hallow farm for my surgiversary (surgery anniversary) see pics.  I feel like I have been in a coma my entire life having nightmares of what my life is like being limited in everything from sports to friends, teased and picked on as a child, not fitting in not just socially but in chairs too,  but also having dreams (skinny fantasies) of what I want my life to be like, and just finally woke up to live it.   Mine was always to be not just popular but as a kid I dreamed of being a perfect wife and mother, thinking of TV moms like Donna Reed.  Now I really am doing that, learning how to cook for my family and playing with my kids opposed to watching them play.  Kids remember the things they do and the people they do things with,  they wont remember mom sitting on the bench at the park watching them play because she cant cause she's 355lbs  but they will remember me going down the slide with them and playing mother may i and red light green light.  It's amazing!  I thank Dr You and give him credit for this and he reminds me that it was me who did it.  I made the decision, I made it happen for myself.  Dr's wont say we have to operate on you NOW or your going to die,  they say you need to loose weight here are your options. It's not like having your gall bladder out tho it has the same mortality rate .3%  it's not like you have an attack and they HAVE to do surgery on you. You have to agree to do it, have to have a support system, be determined to do it, get educated on it, follow a plan, and have the courage to do it for yourself, and all this forever.   It is not easy a lot of people that can not relate assume that you get it done and after recovery when your all healed and go back to work that you go back to normal and that the fat just goes away on it's own. Not the case at all but some of us make it look easy because it's much much less effort doing everything you need to do when your not obese so I can personally say in my own opinion the hardest part was getting the surgery but the hard work doesn't start until after you get it and tho the work is harder more intense it is easier because your not 355lbs exercising a hour a day your loosing and the more you lose the less it feels like your putting effort into it.  So in classes again 355lbs they are talking about exercising 30 mins to 1 hour every day and I actually had anxiety associated with that.  How do you expect me to do that?  I have back pain, my knees hurt, i dont have time.  Well I was still in the mine set that i would be 355lbs doing that.  I had never been a normal weight not even overweight i had been obese since kindergarten. How could I do that.  Well I am happy to say that my back pain has improved, my knees don't hurt anymore, and I am faster moving now so I get everything done in half the time I did before loosing the weight and actually have a lot more time to exercise and spend my kids. So all of the stuff that I thought was unrealistic was only unrealistic because I had the morbidly obese thinking. It is realistic!  And my kids,  I'm also no longer rushing them to grow up, I'm growing up with them and by that I mean I'm doing things with them that I wanted to do as a kid but physically couldn't or was embarrassed or afraid to do because I was obese like riding a horse last week.  
Also wanted to say as a kid I was always picked last to play a game,  now I am picking the game.

I now am aspiring to be a motivational speaker to help others struggling with the same thing.  I want to be an inspiration, It feels so good when you help someone else. Please leave me feedback and comments.  It motivates me to keep writing knowing that my blogs are not all done in vain. 

 



    

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