6 months 1 day post op.

Mar 21, 2011

 Surgery weight: 292lbs.
Todays weight: 225lbs.

OMG i havent weighed this weight since i was in high school ten years ago! :) I am very happy with the number, i am thinking its still behind the number my surgeon wants to see on the scale but thats just how my body does it i guess. Slow and steady wins the race! :)

Lately i have become more self conscious with my flabby arms, legs and butt. I think what did i do to my self? I look like a hot mess, i am MORE self conscious than before the surgery..but i can do more things, have more stamina to work, and play, and I fit smaller clothes. I have been REALLY tired, but i am hoping to get out of that eventually. I started a new job and i think that is making me exhausted. Its really hard to eat when you job is very busy and there is hardly anytime BUT i know i have to make the time for ME. I had this surgery and I have to eat the right things to keep up my weight loss, protein, and strength. I am losing alot of hair and it FREAKS ME OUT TO NO END! I take biotin but i am losing ALOT of hair. I cant see any patches but my hair is coming out :(  I havent been to the ymca in a few weeks. I was working nights and that threw my whole life into the wind and so i am still recovering from that lack of sleep nightmare! I do have an exercise bike at home and I have ridden it usually 2-3 times a week, i know that is not enough but I am usually TIRED beyond belief! I feel like i am having some depression going on which doesnt help. I am trying to find an anti depressant but that one i tried made me MORE tired that I am already feeling which knocked me down for the count. :(   Hormonally I feel I am all screwed up, i got off birth control but then I worried about what if's so i got back on it so my weight loss is screwing with my labs, my hormones. My hormones are screwy from birth control, and depression.  Working night shift messed with me. BASICALLY I am just trying to recover from this ALL!

     I am now trying to treat my body better. I am making sure i make a high priority to eat better more protein and get my fluids in because when i am not eating/drinking correct it throws off my whole life! I am praying more, because I believe the only person in this world who can truly help me is Jesus! I am getting more sleep. I am giving myself a break, and trying to let things that arent important bother me. I met this guy, who has all these great qualities about him that I love, the one big problem was he is VERY BIG ON APPEARANCES, physical appearances. I started to beat my self up about what was saggy, and flabby.  After weight loss surgery that kind of guy is not the one I should be with because he does believe WHOLE heartedly in self confidence,, its just almost impossible to get over how he expects women to look.

I am still trying to find new things to eat, and use variety. I have been making it a point to add veggies and fruit. I dont know how much i believe we dont absorb those nutrients b/c if we didnt why do we take vitamins? how come when I take a new medication if it causes drowsy effects i  get 10x the drowsy effects? of if i drink i am supposed to get "SUPER DRUNK" but that is just the opposite?  Everyones body is different. I believe we need MORE RESEARCH on WLS patients, we need to know what drugs under absorb and what OVER absorbs. this is our body and i hope that research is getting started and if its out there someone point it out! 

My goal is to continue to keep sugar at bay. Exercise more to make it a lifetime habit. Love my new body. Ask Jesus more for help while on my journey of life. and last but not least put my eating and health above less important things, health is the reason we all did this WL journey! 

Any comments feel free to message me! :)

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