lauraanne715
Finding Joy
Jun 22, 2009
What is joy? Is it just an extension of happiness? Is it something you aspire to or work for? What is joy and how can we find it in this new year?That is something I am definitely pondering and I embark upon this new life I am beginning. The WLS was just the beginning of the journey for me. Now I am on a quest to discover who I really am and what I really want from this life. Being given this second chance at life has really opened my eyes to all the possibilities out there and I know that I no longer want to miss out on all the possibilities that there are for me to explore.
For so long I just let life pass me by and didn't take full advantage of what Life and God were offering me....I tookk it all for granted until it was almost too late for me. Now looking back on who I was a year ago I see a sad, lonely, depressed individual just going through the motions of life. I was too fat and too unhealthy to care about anything or anyone at the time. But now I/ have been given this opportunity to start over and try again at this thing called life and living life fully and completely every day.
So while I now realize the opportunity I have to change the course of my life for the good I ask myself daily is this joy? is this happiness? or is there even more to be had?? Because as amazing as this journey has been and will continue to be I want to discover an even deeper more fulfilling joy. Is that too selfish of me? I don't think so...I want to be happy or a deep level. Happiness is not just laughter, money, or clothes...That joy, that happiness that seems elusive is right there waiting for me to grab hold of it and not let go.
I am done with self pity and depressive moments...well I hope I am or can at least keep episodes short and learn from them quickly. I will always carry the depression with me but I no longer want it to define who I am or what my life will be from now on. That is a major shift in my thinking and I take it as a positive sign.
I was always searching for the light at the end of the tunnel...well now I am bathed in the light and am relishing its gleam and warmth. The struggles were well worth it as I stand here now--a survivor of my past, my pain, and my self inflicted wounds. I made the decison to get better, get healthy, and do what was right for me.
I am so glad I did too, but now the journey continues and goes on so much further. Now I need to find that deep inner joy that emanates from within me! Wait...maybe I have found it and just need to let it grow inside me? Hmm....that is a thought to ponder...
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About Me
Pottstown, PA
Location
29.7
BMI
Surgery
05/28/2008
Surgery Date
Feb 18, 2008
Member Since
