Laureen S.
Two Years Today!
Oct 16, 2009
Two years ago, under the wonderfully skilled hands of Dr. Pupkova, the tool of gastric bypass was given to me and as I look back now, I want to share some of the experiences I’ve had along the way. As a disclaimer here (lol), I want to state this is my journey and my experience that I am sharing honestly with you, so you can understand where I could have done better and what I feel I have learned along the way. . . I have found that each one of us embarks on this journey for our own reasons, a good many of us need to do this for health concerns and I, based on my family history of heart disease and adult onset diabetes due to obesity, which ultimately took my own mother’s life at the early age of 65, certainly had those concerns. At age 51 I found myself weighing 254 lbs and unable to move about freely, the simple act of walking had become something I could no longer do with ease. My life had become greatly limited and I thought to myself that this was the beginning of the end to what had once been a richly social and active life and I was just not willing to accept it. I had seen the results of WLS in my own family, it worked where diets had failed over and over again and while, prior to that doctor’s visit in March of 07, I had looked at WLS as a ““last resort” for people who were looking for an easy way out” I began in earnest to look for a surgeon that I could discuss the possibility with. I posted on the NJ/PA boards and had done some homework myself, which ultimately led me to Barix Clinics in Langhorne. It was there on the Friday beginning Memorial Day weekend that I met with Dr. Pupkova in a seminar that was to begin my journey. I knew from that first meeting with Dr. Pupkova that I wanted to pursue this and wanted her skills to be utilized to aid me. It was also on that day, that I met for the first time one of my good friends today, Sister Jan, who was leaving Barix having had her surgery by Dr. P (as she is well known by her patients) a couple of days prior.It was then I began, what seemed like a long tedious process of jumping through the hoops, getting the insurance company on board was the first order of it all, then the tests, cardiac clearance by way of stress test, gastro because they had to scope me to see the condition of a hiatal hernia I had, bloodwork, x-rays, and the follow-up calls for all of it, making sure the paperwork got where it needed, which was very seldom the case, driving Michelle (Dr. P’s assistant, crazy with follow-up calls), driving Peggy (the person in charge of getting a surgery date) nuts, etc., etc., and then the call came, the one that said I was to be at Barix on October 16 for what was to become a life changing event, I was given my PATs date and told to be sure that I had gained no weight at that visit, or I would be cancelled from surgery, and the excitement from that point was phenomenal.
I had been involved in support, at first through OH and at a home held support group, hosted by Heather W. in Harleysville (miss you dear Heather), where I met a host of wonderful people and, so, that very important component of support was in place. Everyone encouraged me and told me I would do just great. I will tell you all that this journey is best had with the support of like travelled people, people who know what you are going through, who will cheer when you tell them that you can cross your legs for the first time in a long, long time, or that a regular bath towel now fits around your body with spare room, because they understand what, to the average person, is such a silly thing. They also know how humiliating it is when you have to scan a room for a comfortable place to sit, or the look on someone’s face when you are going to sit next to them on a train, bus or plane, they know like no one else does, and so it is with these people that I need to continue to push through what has been and continues to be the most challenging journey of a lifetime.
I have not always followed the path I should, on Christmas Eve of 2007 I tested my pouch and found I could tolerate small amounts of sugar, because I had a mini cannoli at my family holiday; not a good thing, but I am being honest here and that choice was made too soon, but it is a part of my story, and I share it so that hopefully you will pause when you decide to test and see if you too can get away with it. It may be a reason why I have yet to reach “goal”, because along the way I have told myself, and, for me, and only I can speak for myself, I have made choices that I will pay for by coming up short on the goal side of things. I cannot claim what I am not, perfection is not me, nor do I know anyone who is, but what I will say is, my personal belief is that I was given this tool to help aid in my ability to make better choices for myself, what I have learned along the way is if I do not do my part, via choices of what I put into my body, as well as how much activity I pursue, the results will either benefit me or make me into what I once was, as this is not a magical solution, so I must maintain a level of honesty, and a big part of that for me is the therapeutic value of showing up daily via some form of accountability.
Slowly the bondage of my body fat has melted away and in it’s place I have gained friends who support and encourage me. I look in the mirror and most days I see someone there who I can’t believe is really me, and on the days when I am feeling shaky, when I look in the mirror and see me as I used to be, I know where to turn for help, because beyond the physical changes that have noticeably taken place, the mental changes are ongoing and I am learning that this process will probably not be an event but more about a lifetime of putting the negative committee to bed. Among you, my peers, I found help in facing the challenge of my perceptions of self in ways that do not involve covering my feelings up with food, which is still challenging at times, but a whole lot less so than before I began this journey.
I will end with this, while I have not reached a “weight goal”, I have far exceeded my own goals, last week I had a wedding to attend, I went to Marshall’s to buy a dress and picked up this cute dress, size 14, I held it up and said, well let’s see, wasn’t sure I would look good in it, walked around the entire store with it in my arms and decided, ah what the hell, for what they were charging for it, I’d take it home try it on and if I didn’t like it, I’d bring it back. . . well I went home, put the dress on, looked in the mirror and this is a first for me. . . I looked in the mirror and said to myself. . . “Gee, I really look pretty in this dress”. . . I felt pretty in that dress, so much so that I did not want to take if off when I came home Saturday night and so much so that I will wear it again at Tammy’s wedding tomorrow!
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
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About Me
Maple Shade, NJ
Location
29.3
BMI
Surgery
10/16/2007
Surgery Date
Jan 09, 2006
Member Since
