when I logged on I said, "WHAT? Two years since a blog post?"

Apr 10, 2013

HI, all -

I'm sure my old followers are no longer following, but I'd love to hear from you!!  =)  It's been a long two years... and not necessarily completely positive.  Let's go down the list of goods/bads....

Good: Still 140# lighter - I've gained a little back, but am managing to stay around 220..... and have been here a long time.  It's not 197, but I'm still a shadow of my former self, which makes me happy. I'm still healthier than ever - no longer pre-diabetic, cholesterol and BP are beautiful. My docs are all thrilled with that aspect of my life.  I'm an aunt again!  I have a gorgeous niece named Brielle who is now 8 months old and just a love of my life.  When my brother got married, I inherited 2 more nephews and a niece whom I love so much....I spoil them uncontrollably.  They fill the baby hole.  As usual, my nephew, David, is such a love...and at almost 4 years old, he's so bold.....but I adore him.  My sister is moving in with me to pursue culinary school - so food is going to be all up in my house!  Good thing about that we are planting a veggie and herb garden this year!  Two of my brothers got married and I have two amazing new sisters.....I'm very blessed.  But most of all - I am still married to the most amazing man I have ever known - and I am so thankful he continues to love me through the good, bad, crazy, and neurotic.  We just celebrated our 13th anniversary, on which he surprised me by coming to work with a bouquet of flowers and lunch.

Badness: On the baby front - we did IUI and IVF to no avail... hubby and I are still baby-less.... it's a heartbreak, but we're surviving.  we have one more round of IVF that Jeff's insurance will cover, then it's out of pocket or adoption.  Seeing as I just turned 40, the baby train will soon be creeping out of the station - so we have to jump on it. Almost 2 years ago, the saddest day of my life to date occurred.  Three short days after the joy of my baby brother's wedding, God took my Daddy home.  I miss him every single day.....and there is not a day that goes by that I don't talk about him and either laugh or cry as a result.  My momma is a pillar of strength.....and though I know she misses him more than any of us, she's such an inspiration.  On her front - she had her knees replaced, which was supposed to be a blessing, but she suffered a fall which ruptured her tendon connecting her kneecap to her shin - and is no longer able to walk.  She is confined to a wheelchair, with my sisters championing taking amazing care of her.  I love her so.

I have to tell you- my greatest frustration as of late? My difficulty with getting back on the "protein first" and "low carb" lifestyle.  Cookies, cakes, chips, and other bad stuff have crept back into my life....and I do my best to limit them -but that darn carb monster - once he takes over, it's so hard to restart.  I haven't been to a support group in months, and now that my IVF doc says it's important to also follow this type of diet - it is even MORE important.  I'm disappointed in myself for falling off the wagon..... and feel like getting it together for the iVF is just an exercise in futility, since they said my eggs are too old.  But I digress.....

So, I'm back - *from outer space..insert Frank the Dog's voice here from MIB* Hopefully to utilize all the tools that brought me success in the past.  Glad to be here.

Stats:

Weight - 221; clothing - pants 14 or 16, shirts M - XL depending ( you know how that is)

Later, gators!

Laur  =)

0 comments

K, life gets in the way - I get it, but it's been TOO long.

Jan 20, 2011

Hi, all!

I'm baaaack!

It's been a while and with the holidays and all, it's been quite a challenging couple of months.  I will start with my updates measurement wise and weight wise!

Weight: 197 (yes, ONE!)
LBS lost: 164!!
Clothing: pants - consistently a 14, shirts - depends on the shirt - some medium, some large
Waist: 34"
Hips: 46" (I think...)
BMI: 30.5 (I am almost merely overweight....insanity)

This year we hosted Thanksgiving again.  In the new house....with 16 people for dinner.  It was wonderful!  I ate off a saucer and had a couple bites of all the entrees.  I even had a bite of pumpkin cheesecake - which I made more WLS friendly by subbing sugar for splenda and using fat free cream cheese...didn't even know the diff!  I was so happy about it. 

Christmas was so much fun!  We didn't do anything of consequence and we were just together. It was lovely.  It was the first year we had the big tree, and the first year in a long time we had the cats out and had to think about what they were going to do with the big tree.  It's a 9' pre lit tree....it was so great having my family here Thanksgiving week to help put it up.  It was the most festive Christmas we've had in a long time.

The struggle for us to have a baby pre surgery was really trying on us - and holidays just didn't have the joy they used to.  The more our family and friends had babies and grew their families, the more miserable holidays were.  It was so nice to be happy, healthy, and joyous Christmas.  I am truly thankful for the blessings in my life....and the new life I've been afforded as a result of this surgery.

Now, I'm one year out, another year wiser and healthier....and closer than ever to having a family.  The future is SO bright.  I may have to wear shades. 

Talk soon - stay strong and focused, friends.  Thanks for reading!  <3
0 comments

Another two months? Insanity - but the struggling has started..

Sep 21, 2010

Hey, all -

Sorry for my absence.  It's been an amazing couple of months - down to 220# and feeling great. 

Current stats:
Weight 220#
Pant size 16
Shirt size L
dress size 14-16, depending on the dress

Don't have recent measurements, though....have to do that.

Anyhoo.

The struggling has started with me and my old love for carbs and sweets.  For a long time post op I was doing great - in fact, dumping on sugars was a great thing.....it made me happy to not want them for fear I would feel like crap.  Bad thing? I'm not dumping all the time on them now....which is not cool, since now my sick mind thinks it's okay to eat them sometimes!  Bad......

Now I know the fact that I know I'm struggling is a plus....I could go about my life and be oblivious and just eat what I want.....but I did not come this far to self sabotage.  I will not do it.  I am the healthiest I've ever been....and I want to keep it that way! 

Vacation kicked my ass - yeah, I still lost 4# on vaca.....but I think there is where the issues started.  My family's grocery list included things like "donuts and danish to have in the house" each and every time I went to the grocery store.  I did indulge a time or two....but kept it in moderation.....then I came home.  I ate an entire pumpkin muffin from Dunkin Donuts, which I later discovered was almost 600 calories - more than I used to eat in a day!  Needless to say, I won't be eating those again.

So, my plan?
- Use Spark people on my phone to track my food at least 2-3 days/week....to spot check myself
- Cut out the sweets altogether...not an easy feat - but I'm an all or nothing girl.  If I have sweets, they have to be the good kind that are designed for us WLS'ers....
- Get back to the gym.....I miss my Zumba and will be going back this week....but my work life has sucked so I've been trying to exercise at home......not as easy as you may think!

Old habits die hard.....and the older ones come back and rear their heads from time to time.....we just have to kick their butts out and let them know they have no place in our new lives.  That's my plan.....

Now off to work.  I feel better already.
Thanks for reading!

Laur  =)
0 comments

What a difference 6 months makes!! =)

Jul 30, 2010

Well, I just got back from my 6 month check-up @ PMRI (preventative medicine and rehabilitation institute), where they have the weight management program. They weighed, measured, checked blood....and came to the conclusion that I'm doing pretty alright.

Here be the stats - now (starting)
weight - 235 (361)
waist - 38.5" (46)
hips - 51" (67"!)
neck - 13.5" (17.5)
BMI - 36.7 (54!)

I'm so thrilled with everything. The only lab that remains iffy is my cholesterol - the bad kind. Everything else is within normal - even my pre-albumin - which measures how much protein my body is absorbing from my food/vitamins. I was surprised at that one, since I have not exactly been stellar with my protein intake - but my body is doing great......

The PA ordered some powder for under my belly (I get rashes sometimes, but I would much rather rashes to my former fat belly), and ordered me to go back on the B12 vitamin. She also said she doesn't need to see me for another 6 months. *cheer* I'm so happy! =)

Now tomorrow is a nutty day - Zumba in the AM, lunch with Liz (one of my surgery buddies), and dinner/entertainment out with the girls from work. My friend, Christine, is in an outdoor theater presentation of "Guys and Dolls" up at Longwood Gardens...and prior to, we are going to dinner at a place called Half Moon - which has a great menu with dinner items, but strange things like ostrich, emu, buffalo, and alligator. Curious.

Next week - I'm starting workout buddies with my friend, Ryane, who is back in my life after a long repose......I'm so thankful she's back in my life. I missed her. But that's another story - and not entirely mine to tell.

Thanks for reading.....lots of love......
<3
Laurie =)
0 comments

What a weekend, self esteem issues, BMI update....

Jun 15, 2010

I did it! I can check another goal off my list - I have walked a 5K!  As part of the Relay for Life I walked the 14 laps around the track in the first 1 1/4 hours of the relay.  My cousin Katie and my friend Meg stayed with me the whole time - My sister Jennifer and my friend Kristin walked in proximity...and my sister Moe was my pit crew to keep me hydrated!  Overall I walked between 12 - 15 miles in 24 hours......it was exhausting, exhilerating, and wonderful.  I am so proud of myself. 

The pics blow my mind.  I almost look "normal" sized.  It's so amazing.  I almost didn't recognize myself in some of the pics.  During the weekend, I ran into my cousin Kathy - who was my buddy when I lost weight before on Weight Watchers......  she has lost 45#!  We got to talking about self esteem and weight loss....and how even though your body shrinks.....you still find things you can change and don't like about yourself.  I am thrilled that I am smaller - but when I look in the mirror, I still see things I don't like.....my baggy boobs, my saggy thighs, my waving arms......I don't think that will ever leave me.......but it is what it is, and recognition will help me to deal with this as it comes.  I am still so thrilled that my relationship with food is changed..... Sure, I get tempted at times, but 80 - 90% of the time, I stick to the plan and do the work.  It has gotten me here...I just deal with the crap as it comes.....and it does......but I am strong and will stay the course.  This is my life now.  It is what it is.

And now - how cool is this?  As of 0.5 of a BMI point, I will be officially "just" obese, as opposed to "morbidly obese".  Cool, huh?  I can't wait. 

Thanks for reading! <3 you all!

Laur  =)
0 comments

100 lbs lost!! =)

Jun 10, 2010

It's official.  I'm a member of the century club.  As of this morning, I am 261#, exactly 100 lbs from my highest weight.  What's more unbelievable is that 77 of those are since January 25th!  I'm in complete shock and awe of this amazing gift I have given myself.  Getting the VSG was the biggest blessing in the world...... I only regret that I didn't decide to do it 10 years ago. 

I'm rewarding myself with a massage, mani/pedi spa day.  I can't wait to book it.  I think I'm going to book it for the week that I'm off following the closing of our house.  My sister may be down, too - so we can go together....woot!  Good times.

Thanks for reading - I could not have done this without each of you who are my friends!  <3 you!!

Laurie  =)
0 comments

I hate my back.

May 28, 2010

So, I had my PT evaluation yesterday....and this morning I did get out of bed a little easier.....but I started having spasms to beat the band this morning.  I literally went into work with tears in my eyes.  My PT fit me in - I arranged coverage for my patients, and I came home. 

The spasms are still coming and going - any transitions from sitting to standing are agony.... Ice is still my BFF..... and my trip home for the weekend to Scranton has been cancelled.  I need a quiet weekend....and I'm thrilled it's a long weekend....I just hope to GOD that my back feels better (even a little) by next weekend.  My sister won tickets and pit passes for the Pocono 500 NASCAR race.  I have been so psyched to go..... I just want to be able to tolerate sitting/standing/riding in the car.  Ohyes....I'll be there.

I borrowed the TENS unit from work for the weekend.....it has helped during my treatments at the clinic.  I'm really hoping it'll help me get back in the swing of things.  The doctor ordered me some pain patches.....my PCP....I was worried, though...b/c it's a NSAID....but when I called my surgeon he said go for it.  So I'll be wearing that to bed tonight..... hoping it will help me to sleep and ease the transition into waking hours tomorrow.  I will let you know. 

Talk soon! Thanks for reading!
<3
1 comment

Two BIG clicks.....

May 26, 2010

This is copy/pasted from my blogspot blog....but I wanted to share it with you all, too!!!  =)

Hey, all!!

So, I told you all how I messed up my back doing my first Zumba class? Well, as it turns out - that pop I heard when I changed my direction was my sacro-iliac joint popping out of place! The SI, aside from being often referred to in 1960's rock songs, is a triangle shaped bone attached to the bottom of your spine - sitting in the hollow in the back of your pelvis. It is attached to your spine by ligaments, tight ones, but only by ligaments.

To give you an idea as to why I think it happened - and my doc seems to think I'm right on with it - you need to understand a thing or two about us big girls.

I have always been rediculously flexible. I used to think it was just a freaky phenomenon, but I now know it's because my joints NEEDED to be flexible in order for me to function at my highest weight. In order for my joints to accommodate the extra tissue surrounding them - the ligaments were looser. Hamstrings stretchy, mostly because in order to stoop to the floor - I HAD to bend at the waist.....I couldn't squat...are you kidding?! With the size of my legs....I would have never reached my target on the floor. Now, with the extra weight coming off - my joints are STILL loose, but they don't have the protective coating of fat helping hold them together. Things that were loose feel looser....and as much as I love BEING flexible....I believe if I don't firm things up - I could be in for more issues like my SI. And actually, as I think about it - I did knock my SI out back when I lost that 70 lbs in the early 2000's.

So....I'm off for a PT evaluation tomorrow afternoon to hopefully set my SI right and get me on an exercise regime to keep it in place and stabilize my back and SI. Maybe I'll someday get back to Zumba....I don't blame Zumba....Zumba was FUN. I blame my lacksidasical joints.....it'll get better! I'm sure of it.

Now, back to the title of my post - they have nothing to do with my SI clicking in and out....nope...it's related to the standard doctor's scale. When they weighed me today......the bottom weight was a full TWO big clicks down from where I was this time 6 months ago..... TWO OF THEM. It's such an amazing feeling.....

Thanks for reading!!
<3
0 comments

91.5 lbs down - less than 80 to go!

May 25, 2010

I so can't believe I've lost over 90 lbs since the start of my journey!  68.5 since January 25th!  I'm so incredibly happy......and I'm a shadow of my former self....seriously.  And it's an amazing place to be. 

My hubby and I are talking about vacation - and I said I would love to do one of the Segway tours on a cruise..... which I could never have done this time last year!  I want to go horseback riding.....parasailing......I want to climb the rock wall on a cruise ship.  Oh, and I will.....so help me, I will.  I don't know where we'll go for vaca.....but I would love a big adventure....I feel like I should reward myself for my achievements....but it's been SO long since I've been able to do things adventurous..... so I keep looking for big vacas..... we really can't afford a big adventure with the house closing pending, but it's nice to dream. 

IDK - we'll see what comes of it...I just want to get away with my love and enjoy down time.  =)  I subscribe to Travelzoo's top 20.....so I look for big deals from time to time and make my hubbins giggle with my absurd notions.....but it's fun.  I just like to torture him.

Thanks for reading, as always......I'm going to ice my back and feed the kitties.....<3

Laur =)

0 comments

Zumba!

May 22, 2010

OMG, I totally LOVE it!  Went to my first class today.....it was a Zumba-thon at the local YMCA.  It ws a 2 hour class - I made it through 1:15.  That was pretty good, considering I felt a "pop" and some pain in my back about 40 minutes in.  My back is on ice now....I really hope it doesn't cause too many problems......

I have a recurring back issue since I had to prevent a patient from falling about 10 years ago....every so often it acts up....and I think I may have aggravated it.  We shall see.  Ice coming off - snack pending......and back on the ice for another 20 min.  Ab workout tonight to stabilize my back. 

I'll keep you posted!  =)  Thanks for reading!
<3
0 comments

×