leah25
Again
Apr 17, 2008
long time
Mar 11, 2008
MOVING SUCKS
Aug 12, 2007
1 Month ago
May 19, 2007
Well it looks like the grass is getting greener for me. I can cross my legs and my butt shelf has disapeared those are my wows for this month. I have lost a total of 32 lbs since starting this journey and it feels realy good. My family is amazed at the changes. I havent noticed some of what they have noticed and, find it very hard to acknowledge what they are telling me because, I cant see it with my own eyes but I am told it is there so we shall see. I have posted a question and asked how long before you notice the differences and 2 and 3 year post ops said to let them know when I can I guess the fat chick in the mirror will always be there but physicaly I can see changes I hope my brain catches up with my body. Thank you to all who have supported me and been there for me during this ongoing wild ride! I almost forgot I am now obese not extremely obese and to me that is a wonderful thing.
HOME SWEET HOME
Apr 20, 2007
Got a date with the doc
Apr 10, 2007
APPROVED
Apr 07, 2007
Hold up
Mar 30, 2007
Well I have had a problem with the surgeon and my pcm's office they cant communicate. I'm the go between, could have had a date a week ago. I should have gotten all that crap together before my consult that is okay. Don't good things come to those who wait? so here I am pissed at myself because I cant help but feeling like I am my own worst enemy. I knew what I should have done but I waited and that makes me wonder. Why do I do this shit to myself? WTF is my problem why can't I accept things that are good. It is way easier for me to embrace the bad than the good. I need change my attitude a little. No I'm not whinning I'm bitching and there is a difference. I am tired of being unhappy regardless of why. So as some of you know that is something I ned to work on.
big light bulb
Feb 11, 2007
a silastic ring is the fobi pouch now i know. ive been watching some of the forums on here and really like some of the people id like to get to know them better but they seem to have a very tight nit group it scares me to think that these people are so close and they met online they have an obvious bond that is amazing. the scary part is the fact that when i do get close to people i usually try to find a reason why i cant hang so to speak but just watching these people i know hiding in my hole would be unexceptable it would probably piss them off and that just makes me feel horrible can i go ahead and become a part of this group and not run back into my rabbit hole and hide that is where i will need to own up and just keep on keeppen on i have very few friends and love them more than i could describe here. friends are people you share, grow, learn ,and have lots of fun with i can see myself doing that im just not sure it will be worth their while and that in itself is my own selfdoubt. am i worthy? this is my big bright light bulb hell yes im worth it but can i keep myself from hiding in my rabbit hole that remains to be seen. i have to come out of my shell nobody can do it but me and im comfy here. i like it i dont have to worry about stupid people and their bull$#!% drama i cant stand drama . sometimes life sucks and we move on we deal with it its called life. i have no problems telling it like it is or when i dont like something but i never fully trust people and never give my all and that is something i have just realized its something i need to work on well this sounds to me like the rambling of a person who is really just finding herself it kinda feels good.
duh
Feb 05, 2007
well ive been thinking about the amount of time it has taken me to make the decision to go ahead and persue wls and talk my self into relaxing because this stuff does not happen over night my day will come it will probably be here before i know it and then i wont have anything im waiting for other than melting away i find myself lurking alot i have questions and then poof somebody asks the one im thinking question answered its awsome im shy i like standing in the background and i dont have a problem letting myself be heard when its needed id like to thank everybody who helped me with my surgeon question. now i have to find out what a silastic ring is and if they have to tell you they are doing it to the boards for me..
i love this place it really helps even just writing and not knowing if anybody will ever read it its here and its mine it helps my peace of mind to put my thoughts down and i use to keep a journal i should start that again its theraputic.