Day 5

Mar 15, 2010

So... for those if you who actually are reading this.  Im kinda using this for my own .... um.... venting and documenting my process as I go along so I can look back at this and NEVER FORGET the journey!  I think thats an important part of NEVER again becoming the person that I was before... never looking back from the new life and the new me. 

So anywho...that being said!  Today was .... okay.... its been up and down.  Right now I feel pretty good, and its not pain that makes me feel bad ever its the gas.  I knew I would have gas following surgery, what I didnt know was how much and how painful it can be!  As I was standing in the kitchen leaning over the counter hiccuping and burping over the trash can just in case I got sick... I kept asking myself... IS BEING THIN REALLY WORTH THIS???  Now that Im no longer hurting and thinking clearly again YES!!!  YES YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES!  I've wanted this for so long.. I've never known what it was like to just be NORMAL sized since I was a kid...and I want to know that!  I want to not be ashamed to meet my husbands friends from highschool because I dont want him to be embarassed of me... althought HE would never act that way... or feel that way, I DO!  I want to RUN in the yard with my kids because its fun... not SIT in a chair and watch them play and wishing the entire time I was back in the house on the couch!

So... if I have to stand over the trash can and burp for a while then SO BE IT!!! I CAN DO THIS... I CAN GET THROUGH THIS PART BECAUSE IT WILL GET BETTER.......AND BETTER.............................AND BETTER!!!! 

lol  I am woman HEAR ME ROAR!!! ha ha

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