Lena0003
Slightly OT...Dating, First Vacation, and Confessions
Jan 11, 2011
Where to begin??? The first three paragraphs or so involve my recent adventures in dating. The last ones are about the vacation and confessions because this is going to be a long blog! A few weeks ago I went on my first date post WLS. I hadn't dated really at all in 2010. I just felt yuck about myself, and had no interest in it. As I've previously mentioned, I have really wanted to take some time to focus on me. I met a guy I hit it off with, and he wanted to go out for dinner sometime. I really still wasn't all that interested, but figured it'd be good for me to get back out again, so I did. We did have a good time. Unfortunately, he seems more interested in me than I do in him. I keep telling him I'm not really interested in a relationship right now, and he says he understands, and is willing to just see where things go. I do enjoy hanging out, but I'd like to leave it at that. We'll see.To complicate matters when it comes to dating, an ex boyfriend of mine who I actually mentioned in my "about me" section, has been calling and texting me again. We met in March 2007, so have known each other for nearly 4 years, and have been off and on several times during that time. He moved from MN to Seattle in Oct right after I had surgery. He doesn't know I've had WLS. Since just before he moved, he was starting to text a lot, then in December, he texted me seeing if I was fortunate enough to be out of town for a huge snow storm we had, and its like that opened the flood gates, and we just started touching base regularly (almost daily). I don't know how to take this. The first time we dated, I ended things. The second time, he ended things. Saying he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life, and didn't think that was fair to me. Which basically, he just didn't want to be in a relationship affecting his career decisions. I guess he was being honest, as he did end up moving. Our careers have just made dating very difficult for us. We date, break up, stop talking, start talking, become friends again, and eventually date. So I'm a bit hesitant about this recent reconciliation.
Fast forward...he kept hinting at me going out for a visit, but I wasn't biting. Eventually, he officially asked me out. I said maybe at some point. Then, a week ago, he asked me to come for last weekend specifically for the Seahawks playoff game (he works for them). I don't know why, but I agreed. We really did have a great time, but now I am just left wondering where we stand! I went out there saying we were just friends, but although we didn't dive back into a relationship, it seemed like more than just FRIENDS. For example, I usually split checks with my friends, don't hold hands, and no kissing! He's just difficult to read. And he has hurt me in the past, and I don't want to be hurt again. Then again, I suppose I have done some hurting too. Maybe the third time's the charm? Although our careers haven't changed, and one of us would have to sacrifice a lot to make it work. If the NFL has a lockout, he'll be back in MN for a while in March. I just don't know. The nice thing, he didn't see me in 2010 at my heaviest, but I was down 30 pounds below what I weighed the last time he had seen me, so that made me feel good. And to top it off, he had gained 35 pounds since I had last seen him! He's 6'2" and just under 240 lbs, so not THAT overweight and can lose weight easily, but still, I felt good about it. I would love to weigh less than him by the next time I see him (IF I decide to see him again that is).
So now, done with the relationship talk, and onto the vacation part. Like I mentioned, he doesn't know I had WLS. And I really don't think he'll be that supportive of it, so at least at the moment, I'm choosing not to mention it. It really wasn't much of an issue food wise. The problem is, we would always have a couple of drinks together. And the first night there, we met up with a couple of his coworkers and some of their friends in town. Basically me, and 8 guys. No biggie, as I can hold my own, but these guys like to drink and have a great time, and were majorly bothered by me not having a drink. So during my time there, I did have a couple of drinks. I know this is a subject matter that so many people on here are hit or miss about. When is it ok, if ever? What's ok? Why drink calories? Etc.... Well, being that I am at the point where I was told my stomach should be healed, and I can try any food I want, I decided to give it a try. The first night, I had a vodka cranberry, sipped on it for hours, which made the ice all melt. I didn't have any problems. Sure, I may have felt it more than previously, but I didn't get sick at all, and it didn't feel uncomfortable in my pouch. He did ask if I didn't like my drink, and I just mentioned that I had given up drinking over the summer, and now when I have a drink it hits me faster than is used to. And he accepted that. Another night, all the guys were adamant I had a drink in my hand, so I had a glass of wine that I drank ALL night. Same story with that. Was my decision the right one for someone four months out??? Who knows. Maybe, maybe not. I felt slightly guilty by it, but mainly because I thought the people on this site would be so disappointed in me! I'm having a hard time getting calories in some days anyway, so calorie wise, it didn't hurt me. Nutrition wise, sure, not my best choice. I know of transfer addictions, I know about not drinking calories, and I know this isn't something I plan on making a habit out of. But I had a couple of drinks this weekend, I'm not going to beat myself up over it, and I lost just under 5 pounds the three days I was gone. Not too bad if I do say so myself.
All in all, the little vacation was good! I was feeling good about myself, or at least better than I had in a while. I had to take a small turbo prop plane from Portland to Seattle, and always worry about fitting into those even smaller than normal plane seats. I fit no problem, and the guy next to me didn't give me the "oh great" look when he saw I was sitting by him. In fact, we really hit it off and talked the entire 45 minute flight. Since I booked my flight so late, I was stuck in a middle seat on the way home, which I was VERY nervous about. Again, no rude looks. The guy on the aisle even offered to put my coat up for me, and retrieved it at the end, and I didn't feel stuffed into the seat. I still have so much weight to lose, but the way I have always carried my weight, I have always been able to shove myself into one seat, and not have to use a seat belt extender. But this was the first time I can remember where I wasn't squeezing into the seats, I was just sitting there. At the football game, I hit it off with the guys around me, and wasn't squeezed into those stadium seats either. I didn't worry about whether I could fit in a booth at a restaurant. My ex bf's friends were super flirty with me. As well as guys at the game! It was just an all around good morale boosting trip. If only I knew where things stood with the ex and me! Because that part still has me frustrated.
And that's that. I have more to write...about trying on jeans. But I have things to do and will save that for another blog. I hope everyone else is doing well in the new year!
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About Me
Maple Grove, MN
Location
35.8
BMI
Surgery
09/16/2010
Surgery Date
May 14, 2010
Member Since
