I'm back and lucky to be alive!
Jul 16, 2013
Hello, everyone! I am so glad to be back. I have been gone for a very long time dealing with many health issues and just getting through the days, hours at a time. My headaches are less, but Stanford didn't seem to help anymore. I have been on more medication than I ever had been in my life. My night stand looks worse than my grandmother's ever did and I just turned 36!
Because of all my pains and being referred to so many specialists and given prescription after prescription. I couldn't even fit food or my vitamins in after the amount of daily meds I was on. I changed my PCP and she is excellent! I have been taking waaay less than I have in the past 2-3 years. With the New year I had various complications and could not figure out what exactly hurt anymore. In April I had already been dealing with being 'sick' to my stomach literally whenever I did eat. I was nauseous, stomach pains in my side and became just very uncomfortable with EVERYTHING I ate and dank. At this point I stopped caring about myself. So many people told me it was all in my head and didn't take me seriously. I was also pegged as a drug seeker or "frequent flyer" when I'd go to the ER with abdominal pain. Ultra sounds came back normal, blood work...normal, but the pain would just get worse and I would vomit with anything that went into my body. Finally a CT scan was done at this time in April in the ER and they found a mass in my abdomen and my Gastric Bypass surgeon Dr. Patrick Coates was contacted. He had me admitted and wanted to have me in surgery that morning. If anything, at least to explore my intestines and pouch.
Upon looking at my scan he and Dr. Antonio Coirin (his partner), saw what appeared to be my intestines telescoping! Or also know as an intasusception. The goal was to go in, do some exploring and fix the problem. When they went in a good 2 feet of my intestines were affected, but they were not dead or dying..YET. Dr. Coirin then proceeded to undo the mess and saw that there was no damage and just 'tacked down the curve where the point of entry happened to keep from happening again. But nothing is 100%.
Well, to make an even longer story short. My pain got a bit better after surgery, but never really resolved. A few more trips back to the ER, one willingly and another after I passed out in the Walgreens pharmacy. Yeah, not pretty, but no one found ANYTHING wrong with me. I was told they called my surgeon and that they were sending me home after getting my B/P stable and a rush of sugar water and gave me percocet! That made me trip out a bit. My doc wouldn't prescribe that and not want to keep overnight at least after my history, but I went home. I had a few follow up appointments the following week with hardly anything to eat and no sleep all week. I finally got to see my original surgeon and he admitted me right away. That night we did all the blood tests, another CT and plenty of pain medication. I had my surgery the next day and had part of my intestines removed and then reconnected. I do feel a huge difference! Recovery is slow going, but I have been feeling so much better than I have in months! I am now working on recovering and getting healthy again. Part of me gave up and I changed for the worse during this hell of pain. I have not been a happy person. A biotch to be exact and I am just so grateful to be here and able to start over. There is a small chance that it could happen again, but I think we have finally turned a corner.
I was asked if I would still do the RNY again knowing what I have gone through and honestly...I would. I was almost 300 lbs and would've died in my sleep because of not breather or aspirating on my own vomit. Graphic, I know, but either way my life, health wise has been crap! But there is some kind of reason for it. I am looking at my life a little more closely and makes me think more about what I want to do as far as a career. I am leaning more towards being a personal trainer that specializes in Gastric bypass patients. Who better to sympathize and understand her clients than me!? I think it would be a great job. It motivates me to want to get well and to get out there and meet more people and learn about their journey and in some ways be there from the beginning. That would be awesome!
To make a long story short.....(update)
Dec 31, 2011
I wish I had good news about the 2nd procedure. I was scheduled for a Radio frequency version of the diagnostic procedure (where they heat up the nerve to help it heal). This was scheduled with a differnt doctor I had never seen before. His intern was very sweet but hit the bone after the 1st part of the procedure, which gave me so much pain and pretty much traumatized me.I had to get 2 doses of dilautted and 1 percocet before I went home. All pain meds we were trying to stay away from. I then went to the ER at home because the pain in my jaw was so bad I could barely talk. I went in and had a CT scan and they found that a glad was infected and doped me up on pain meds and antibiotics. So 10 hours later I was home and resting. I am still recovering. I just finished my 10 days of antibiotics and have to wait to have the next surgery. I have doen my blood work and done a follow up with the original doctor and made sure they knew how unahppy I was with the other doctor and refuse to be seen by anyone other than him. If he hand picks his interns I know I am in good hands and that he will be there as well.
So my last vist we found out that after the 2nd procedure that part of my right arm has some weakness and tingling. I have to get a CT of my arm and schedule some more procedures. So now I have to do another RF procedure after I heal from the lst one and need to be free from infection. And now I have to get botox shots in the back of my head to help with a seperate nerve. I have another nerve medication and it's helping, but it makes me so sleepy.
I just want to be pain free and only have Ottesstad take care of me. I have changed as a person and I don't like it. I haven't been able to cope with the pain and has been a raging Biotch! I have come close to losing my husband because I have been so hateful or just not present. I wanna sleep so much and get irritated if people ask me questions. It's been really bad. I just wanted to remove myself from everything. I was giving up! I hated my life and just wanted it all to end.I am getting better, but have to stay positive...this will be ok and I will get control over my life.
I'm still here...and I'm ok
Dec 26, 2011
I'm still here...no balance, but still alive!
Sep 22, 2011
I have gone back to college and it's been struggle being mom, wife and student. My anxiety takes over a bit, but I have been through so much. I tend to be extremely hard on myself and hold myself to such a high standard. I don't know what else to do at times. I do feel alone and easily irritated. I wish I could find some kind of balance. Oh, yeah, and on top of it all I'm trying to withdraw from all the pain medication that the docs have put me on for the past couple of years...soooo not easy! Does re-hab have a spa!? lol! I know this is serious, but I need a HUGE break here. I just want to be alone for a few days. No noise, no questions, no phones....just nothing, but "would you like another massage?" or "Here is your meal." Oh well..I just have to tough through it and suck it up.
John Travolta acknowledge my weight loss!
Jul 08, 2011
'To Tina Great Work! Positive thougts sent your way. John Travolta.'
It's getting better! :)
May 23, 2011
I've been so into music again. I love listening to my Zune while I clean. I see that I get so much more done when I'm in the 'groove'. I then find cleaning a stress reliever. I love it even more when I can find things in my house after. Since I'm not able to take summer classes I will have a full load of classes this fall, I'll be able to get my house in order to cut down on the stress. I was very lucky to get them all online. I want to graduate from college so bad! I am extremely excited to get my life going and fulfill my dreams. I can't be afraid of everything and just wonder 'what if' anymore. It's time to make things happen...come hell or high water. I've felt restricted for so long....my weight, my illnesses and hospital stays. Now mommy needs to be happy. It's not that I haven't, I just need to enjoy my life more and get out there and live. My dreams don't have to stay dreams anymore. I CAN do anything I want to make a better and fulfilling life for me and my family. There is truth in the saying, "If mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy." lol!
I think this is the beginning of feeling "NORMAL". It's been a long time, but it feels great. So much so that I feel like crying. It's been a long time coming.
Still not feeling better...will it ever end?
May 13, 2011
The antibiotic is pretty strong and I feel so icky....I had to get another script for pain medicine and I just get so worried! What if I become addicted after all of this? Will I need rehab?...Am I just heading into more CRAP!? But I can't eat without having pain medicine. I can barely talk and I have to make sf pudding to get my protien in. I ate a whole box yesterday....I was so hungry! So the problems keep mounting...If I can't eat then my blood sugar drops and then I have a hypoglycemic fit....if I don't eat I don't get in my protien and then there we go....I'm trying to get all my water in, but even room temperature water hurts the area! I feel like I got drunk last night and ended up in a bar fight! My face hurts, my jaw hurts and my head and I had no fun before that!!!! lol! Geez! I can't exercise because I fall on my face. There is just no way I can at this point and it pisses me off. I'm totally skin and bone and haven't been able to build up any muscle...I hate it! This is one time I wish I was in the hospital...I want someone to take care of me and let me rest. Give me some good pain medication and just baby me! lol! I'm just so exhausted and fed up. I know, I know...I should just be glad that now we know what the problem is...and I am, but this road has been so rough and I just can't imagine how much longer it will take to start feeling better.
Apr 29, 2011
I made all of these by hand and LOVE doing all of these. I just thought I'd share. ENJOY!
updates and creativity...
Apr 29, 2011
Now I have a bit of a problem.....Not weight loss related, but...well, What would you do if someone asked your help on a BIG project and you agree to take it on to help her out...just for her to get the supplies and you have this big meeting to discuss ideas and then u don't hear from her and she took all your ideas and made them her own? Would you be pissed? Should I say something to her? She's gonna be family and I just feel like it's just poor form. I love her, but man! That really upset me. I don't want to sound petty, but people come to me for my creativity and ask ME to make things for them and this is the first time that someone has done that to me. I don't know it could be PMS feelings, but I just feel used. I'll post some of my work in a bit and let me know what you think.
Things are getting better...
Apr 26, 2011
I had a good Easter with my in-laws. I was able to see some of the relatives that I haven't seen since b4 my surgery and OMG! One of the uncles wasn't sure if it was me or not. Not until I spoke did they realize who Iwas! He gave me such a big hug and told me I looks fabulous and gorgeous...lookin' all skinny! His partner was amazed and gave me a huge hug as well. It was just a great feeling. I also told them about how other family members thought that my hubby got a divorce and that I was the other woman! LMAO! They busted up and said "Hey, there you go, work it!"
The rest I saw back in December for my father-in-laws surprise party and they saw that I lost alot more (30 lbs more) and some just couldn't believe it. Uncle Eli gave me a big hug and asked how I was doing and told me I looked great and that I should stay the weight I am. lol! He's the only one who can get away with that one! lol! He's is just such a big sweetheart! No one was monitoring my plate or trying to push portions on to me either. It was great! I had a couple forbidden things but OMG!!! It's stuff I can't get regularly. It's a portugues pastry like a doughnut with sugar on it . Totally fried and yummy. I had one with strawberries and it was so awesome. I think it's called 'fioosh'. How ever you spell it or pronounce it, it is delicious.
My sons had a blast and it was so good to see the whole family. I love that I married into such a close family that are the most beautiful people ever. I always felt welcomed and loved. They worry, but aren't over-bearing.
My hypoglycemia is getting a bit better. No attacks since the last one. Thank God! I found some glucose tablets to keep in my purse instaed of candy. That was a great find today! I'm on my last day of the antibiotics and now I'm detoxing from the pain medication. Man, that is very hard, but not bad. I've been on pain meds for almost a year for headaches! So I know there will be rough nights without it, but it's not something I need in my body anymore. I had a medium size headache yesterday and took a migraine pill...OMG..It hit hard and fast before I could get to my bed! I used to have to take the 3 I was allowed in a day and it wouldn't do anything . I was then allowed 6 in a day and after 5 it would start to help and I could then start to function...this time I only took one and it worked!!!!! YAY! So I am very happy that things are getting better with my health, the $5 bras are awesome..I can't wait to go back and buy more clothes as well. My hubby was impressed with the selection of clothes I can now buy in that store called "Rainbow". And that they weren't too expensive either. I could do so much damage in that store! lol! But to prevent a fight I'll take cash and no ATM cards in there with me. lol!
Me and my sweetheart Christian
Me and my babies (Gabriel and Christian)-This was as good as my Easter pic with my boys was gonna get! lol!Me (In my medium top!) and my hubby Easter 2011