It's getting better! :)

May 23, 2011

It has definately been a rough road, but BOOOYYYYY! I've come so far! My one year surgeversary is coming up next month. I'm now 11 months post-op and I can't believe it. The infections that I have (tooth and sinus) seem to be getting better and I can feel such a huge difference. I have been given a second round of anribiotics and the pain pills that I take have been helping alot and now I don't need to take as much as I did in the beginning. Thank God! My head seems to be getting more clear and I'm not feeling so crappy. I still have my moments, but atleast I don't feel like I'm going crazy. I do have a tendency to push through things and over-do alot...I have had to take it slow. One thing at a day at a time. If I don't feel well I have to make myself do NOTHING. That is very hard for me to do. Right now, my kitchen is a mess and the laundry is half done. But I'm taking the time to blog, take my vitamins and drink my water. The past week I have not been on top of any of those and I NEED to make them a priority before anything or anyone else in this house. My husband's work schedule has changed and it has made things alot easier for me. He's now working the morning shift instead of graveyard. So now I take care of the house without having to keep things quiet while he sleeps. I enjoy being alone during the day. I still have the little ones to watch, but I do feel less stress and can take the time to think and get organized. By the time my husband gets home I have alot done, dinner going and missing my husband. I'm more relaxed and clear minded. Don't get me wrong. I love my husband so much but when the house is full and I'm being asked questions left and right I tend to lose my mind.

I've been so into music again. I love listening to my Zune while I clean. I see that I get so much more done when I'm in the 'groove'. I then find cleaning a stress reliever. I love it even more when I can find things in my house after. Since I'm not able to take summer classes I will have a full load of classes this fall, I'll be able to get my house in order to cut down on the stress. I was very lucky to get them all online. I want to graduate from college so bad! I am extremely excited to get my life going and fulfill my dreams. I can't be afraid of everything and just wonder 'what if' anymore. It's time to make things happen...come hell or high water. I've felt restricted for so weight, my illnesses and hospital stays. Now mommy needs to be happy. It's not that I haven't, I just need to enjoy my life more and get out there and live. My dreams don't have to stay dreams anymore. I CAN do anything I want to make a better and fulfilling life for me and my family. There is truth in the saying, "If mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy." lol!
I think this is the beginning of feeling "NORMAL". It's been a long time, but it feels great. So much so that I feel like crying. It's been a long time coming.