I'm still here...no balance, but still alive!

Sep 22, 2011

I have been going through alot. The mystery of my massive headaches has been solved...yet again, but this time it's sticking. I did have a problem with abscess teeth and sinusitis. That did contribute to the problem we did find. It turns out it was a facial nerve. The nerve runs right where all my other problems were. So the infections just got the nerve very angry. So the ENT gave me a few treatments with sprays and numbing agents. He had to go way up my nose to hit the right spot. So once we figured out how high to go he gave me a cortisone shot. Boy, did that hurt! But it did the trick. My face and nose was very sore for about 4 days, but no headaches for about 3 weeks! yay! But slowly it is coming back. The next move is to go to a nerve specialist at Stanford. The doc told me that he has specialized in eradicating the pain from this nerve with a different kind of injection. I may need to still have surgery for the deviated septum. The curve in my nose is very narrow and also pressing up against this nerve when it it irritated causing it to be more irritated. A few weeks before all of this I had passed out in my walk-in closet because the pain was so bad. My husband found me in there before he got ready for work. I was OK...just a little sore from landing on my shoulder. So every test so far has been a STAT order. For now I am OK. Very tired and a bit depressed. I don't think that my body is absorbing the anxiety/depression medication like it used to before WLS. I'm still having problems with my Vitamin D, but it's not as bad. I hope this continues to get better and that I can be normal again.

I have gone back to college and it's been  struggle being mom, wife and student. My anxiety takes over a bit, but I have been through so much. I tend to be extremely hard on myself and hold myself to such a high standard. I don't know what else to do at times. I do feel alone and easily irritated. I wish I could find some kind of balance. Oh, yeah, and on top of it all I'm trying to withdraw from all the pain medication that the docs have put me on for the past couple of years...soooo not easy! Does re-hab have a spa!? lol! I know this is serious, but I need a HUGE break here. I just want to be alone for a few days. No noise, no questions, no phones....just nothing, but "would you like another massage?" or "Here is your meal." Oh well..I just have to tough through it and suck it up.