Here I Go Again...

Jul 09, 2019

Fast forwrd 11 years. I am 1 week post op from RNY revision from a 2008 Lap Band. I had my band for 10 1/2 years and had great success losing about 119 lbs from 256 to 137 at my lowest. I thought I had this healthy living down pat but I was wrong, so wrong. I lost all my weight in the first 3 years after banding and I became someone who loved trying new things and being active. I was the person I always felt I should be and so I honestly believed the happiness I felt with myself would keep me on a healthy path for the rest of my life. I was able to maintain my weightloss for another 5 years before I began letting that old negative person, I thought I had long  left behind, creep back into my world. I had some terrible things happen in my life that completely broke me down and demolished all the confidence that I had worked so hard to build up. I allowed my anxiety and depression to completely grab ahold of my life. I broke myself down by telling myself I was a failure and unworthy of happiness. What could be so wrong with me that I could have so many personal failures in my life? This allowed me to begin eating stuff I knew I shouldn't, but what the heck, my body likes where it's at, it's not gonna allow me to gain weight. Well it did, and I found myself 70 lbs heavier and completely unhappy and unhealthy, mentally and physically. I couldn't believe I had let happen exactly what I told myself I would never let happen again. After a lot of hard work and a lot of therapy, I found myself with the correct mindset to enact change. So, I decided to have my band removed in January for reflux reasons and had a revision to gastric bypass a week ago. So, here I go again, hopefully a little wiser and stronger than before. I choose to be positive about the future but also much more cautious with my mental health as well as my food choices. Hello to the OH family! and HERE'S TO SECOND CHANCES!!!    

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